9/20/26 – Extension Work
It’s almost like, the muscles I give the most attention to, seem to be the ones that become the most active? Like when I’m laying, resting, seated, standing, and I’m thinking about “hip flexors” or “hamstrings” they usually are the ones who are the most high strung and active?
Yesterday morning, I tried to make sure I was shifting my attention away from them, and moving to my glutes and quads? I could feel my low back, glutes, and quads working hard to overcome all the tightness in flexion and get into extension!
“Extension” – almost like that word itself needs to be said and supported in such a way that it is safe? All the supportive tissue and ligaments in our body really need the time and reps to get used to this position again!
Okay, the IT band, turns out there’s a lot more going on there than we seem to understand at this point? It’s sandwiched between the TFL and the glute max, and the origin to insertion points are up from the hip to the knee? How many ligaments / fascia / and muscles all cross the hip and knee joint? I thought at first it was only the Rectus femoris in the quads, but I’m beginning the see there’s a lot more than that which cross over both joints? I have some work to do!?
I think I need to start understanding all the parts of the body/ legs that we don’t fully understand yet? Seems like there could be something there? All this fascia, cartilage and ligaments sure are up to something interesting, I have some research to do!
You know, it’s almost like they want to “get you back” as quick as possible to society and living, walking, wheelchair, or not. So when they had me try a powered wheelchair? Why did they do that? Cuz using that would be the “easiest” way to get me back into the world, I guess…. It’s so weird, I don’t know why that’s how it has to go? Is it because we live in such a fast paced world, that’s hyper focused on productivity and doing something, that helping to facilitate our bodies to naturally heal doesn’t fall in that timeline? Just some late night thoughts here before I doze off, there might be something to this though!
9/21/26 – Magic Plumbers
Alright, that end of day/ start of bed stretching is doing wonders for my hips, hip flexors, TFL, and hamstrings! It is honestly waking this area up like crazy! I wake up in the morning, and I can feel my extensor muscles working hard to get everything in extension!
More opportunities for extension. Let’s keep sprinkling them in throughout the day! It’s always hard balancing, but let’s get this right! Also, seems like you could just get to bed when you’re getting sad/ cranky! You need the rest!
Man oh man, why aren’t there neurological doctors out there healing nerves and neuroreceptors with like, lights and lasers?? (this is a half joke lol) Using some electrical engineering technology to actually be able to get inside the body, and alter the neurological signals??? It’s just magic plumbing, all the electrical signals in our body? Hmmm, what gives?! The valves in my body that don’t work, are (or are not) getting the signal? We don’t have a great way to record, measure, or observe said signal, and so how do we even know what we need to fix because of this? Specifically for the bowel and bladder? Which are also controlled partially by the spinal cord, so it doesn’t even need to go all the way to the brain?
PT and OT went really well! Had my electrolytes, and got moving! My legs were stabilizing like crazy with Joni, and I was walking and upright for the farthest distance and most fluid movements to date as well! Gotta keep this up!
9/22/26 – Product Realization Pitch
Well well well, if it isn’t another day of a huge rise in sensation! I really am feeling my entire lower body filling in, and extension happening! Squeezing my knee goo, or patellar tendon, is really a good que for me to activate my quads I’m realizing! And also the way I was working on standing after the walk, while having my hands up overhead at PT yesterday was working my legs and body in extension like you would not believe! That’s really opening me up and stretching me out!
I can feel my pelvic floor waking up like crazy, I think this next step with the compression wear could be a huge resurgence and next step?!
Product Realization intro today!! This went great!! I had an idea that I presented to the class of students at UW-Milwaukee, and I think this is going to be a fun one!
I was at work, when I was having a hallway conversation, bout how difficult it can be and annoying on cross-slopes for sidewalks. Pushing with one hand, breaking with the other. Sometimes never getting a break for the one arm, while the other is feeling useless? It’s not always the most fun way to travel around, especially when one hand isn’t doing anything!
So as I was telling Brett about this experience, another coworker walked up to say hello, overheard what I was saying, and goes, “do you want to pitch this idea to my class at UWMilwaukee?”
I go, “sure?!”
And he says, “how about tomorrow?!”
So I had about 1 day and an hour after work to get this presentation/ pitch together! Turns out the students were all really fascinated and excited for this project, and I had a good time answering their questions, and helping them get started! Let’s see what they come up with!
9/23/26 – Good Wednesday for Movement
Okay, hello quads?! I’m feeling you down there kicking in, squeezing, and working on extension! It feels great when I feel those guys pushing! I really like that, it’s encouraging and hopeful when I feel them kicking in!
Busy day yesterday! I had a lot to do! But amongst it all, I was sitting in the chair, feet on floor, and was feeling my quads activating and pushing me out to get my knees a bit more into extension! Which was great!! That was awesome to feel!
I honestly didn’t think I was going to be doing presentations to two different groups of students, in 1 week!? At Marquette for the PT students, and here at UWM? So crazy!
How to get over the fears of trying the braces at work? I guess I need someone else’s help? Who would be a good person to ask?
LONGEST WALK TO DATE!! Thanks Emma for the help and the chat! Something cool happens when I also try to maintain a conversation while walking? Almost makes it a bit more reflexive?
Pilates was GREAT!! Did all new exercises on the wall unit and on the Cadillac in side lying, single spring and bar, and then all the extension work??!!?!!! This was phenomenal!!!
Standing frame and note cleanup in the evening here before bed! Consistency IS the Intervention!!
9/24/26 – Outside Of The Legs?
Man oh man! Fullness, I feel this morning when I woke up is amazing! Legs are filling out, getting warmer more pressure in my knees and ankles my shins, you name it! My left leg, especially was getting so far in extension, I was losing the knee pillow in between my legs because my left leg was getting so straight! Sweaty left side is less and less, and the outside of my legs from my pelvis all the way down to my feet are feeling so much! It’s really interesting how it’s on the outside of my legs that I’m feeling the most? Glutes are firing up and I can feel if that’s a very least trace contractions in all my muscle groups. Now it’s just trying to get them to move more!
You ever do so much, in a day or week, that one day, your body just can’t take anymore? Even the slightest movement of bodily position can create such an intense flashback that you don’t even trust what your brain is flashing before you? Not an image in your eyes, but from somewhere else? Deeper, more real? Because, it seems like I’m at that point today. Not even a question mark, but a simple statement about how the past and future aren’t even in sight because of how overstimulated and loaded your body and mind are?
Probably it for today. It’s about 6:30pm and I’m cooked. Need to get some rest.
9/25/26 – Sad Dreams of The Pup
I had a dream last night, where there were two Max’s, that came with me to an island. I decided to call the doubled other Max Wilbur. He’s such a sweet dog and I miss him so much every day. It breaks my heart that I don’t have him right now. It’s so hard. I think I need to change this.
I guess I’m getting vicariously nostalgic for any period of time these days. I hardly look towards the future because I will not and do not want to experience it at half height. I don’t. I really needed this long, almost 12hr rest last night.
PT walk was one of the fastest yet to date!! I was moving!! Julia helped me get up and going, but because I was late I tried to keep up and moving as fast as I could!
9/26/26 – Granite Wall
Holy goodness!? Talk about my Gastroc’s squeezing and being online!!! This is incredible!! They are seriously firing up like crazy, this is amazing! Little by little we keep chipping away at this huge piece of granite that is my body! Little chips and unlocking and breaking free a little movement here, activation over there, and sensation over there! It’s amazing! I gotta keep it up!!
I was talking to Julia while doing my session, and we were talking about how much assistance she gives, and she laughs because she said she isn’t! She’s only stabilizing the wheelchair when I go to sit down! Which, has been great to know, because I really want to work up to doing this at work and either at the work benches, or up in the atrium at the standing desks! I now have 2 great places to get up, now I need to stop being a lil wuss and get moving!
If I do it after lunch, after I’ve been up in the standing frame, I think that gives me the best chance / opportunity to do so! Which means I really just need to bring my braces in and do it now! What am I waiting for??!
So today was a pretty good day. Had quite the morning rehabilitating my body! I was able to take a good nap midday today, to try to recoup some lost Z’s throughout the week! I really needed that.
I really just have a tricky time keeping and maintaining perspective when the days aren’t fully absorbed into rehab. It’s hard, I guess? My body is such a beast sometimes. To not be able to move around in all the ways, when working on a project, can be extremely frustrating, to say the least. I just wish to use my body the way I know how. I guess that’s not exactly the easiest thing to do these days. I have to shake my head sometimes at the thoughts that race through. It’s tough.
I don’t have all the words to describe the frustrations, and I don’t know if I need to? I guess that’s the “fun” part about all this. I’m not grieving because I haven’t lost anything. My body is all intact. There isn’t grief, so much as confusion and determination to heal. From everything my body is doing on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, is just that. Healing. Albeit slow. So I try not to mourn or “get over” my loss, because all that does is try to create a situation that my body is “gone” or that I’ve moved on? He’s here, underneath me in this standing frame, slowly but surely filling in, contracting more, and increasing in sensation and activation with each contraction and attempt to stand tall.
I don’t know what I’m doing except just trying. Trying to live, work on my body, be hopeful, and attempt to get my body back to a state I am more useful. Not that I can’t do anything right now, just to a place where I can build, work, and do in a way I aspire and would love to be.
Tell ya what, having to relearn most activities, movements, and interactions in both a wheelchair and rebuilding body has been interesting. This mental state and attitude makes a difference, but also knowing I’m working on my body everyday, helps.
Being up in the standing frame with my left arm supported on the wall with my elbow is giving the wildest stretch to end the night! It’s incredible!! So much loosening and opening up because of this! It’s amazing! Trying to work in some sets of activation, to also help with this position, good way to wrap up the day and end the night!
What a way to end the night with all these thoughts. Let’s get it tomorrow!
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