4/26/26 – Hogtied
Hogtied. – Great.
Standing frame 100 is going well! My legs feel so much more when I do this! So much better breaths!
Walk today was interesting! On the walk down the hallway, I was initiating and taking the best steps, with an inhale! My right leg hadn’t swung thru this consistently before I tried to switch up my breathing pattern! this is incredible! Really weird too, if I’m being honest, but there’s gotta be something here?
After a day working at the house with Callie, I’m up in the standing frame, and I could feel how my back was working to help try to pull my legs up and out! It’s kinda like what Therese was saying about the “2-way stretch” seems to be really kicking in with me now finally!
Doing the 100 up in the standing frame has really got my body feeling much calmer after I do it! I can take fuller breaths, my shoulders relax, and honestly it feels like my legs and body are kicking in more evenly! This has been great, I need to keep this up and do every time I get in the standing frame!
4/27/26 – Big Monday Gains for Erector Spinae!
Mom’s birthday today! !! I love that special lady so much! She seriously has always been so extremely kind, caring, loving, and helpful to me and really all of her kids and grandkids! Honestly everyone she knows! She’s really something, happy birthday Momma!
Okay, erector spinae! I can feel all of you engaging! He’s really trying to keep my legs supported!! I honestly can feel him trying to stay engaged, and then therefore help start my posterior engagement! I think I gotta make a list of all the back muscles I need to work, and this is one of them!
I was trying to keep my erector spinae engaged, while simultaneously working on relaxing my hip flexors?! This is HARD! I was trying to switch it up, and think “Heavy” up front, and engaged on the back? It’s not fully working yet, but it’s doing something!!
Also, I need to try to do my 100 at PT while up standing, I could get some help with this! I think this could work really well! I’ve been having fun exploring all the positions to do the Hundred!
I really needed to try to do my Hundred everyday and it’s finally happening! I can feel everything starting to wake up!!!
PT! Prone work, new nighttime routine, chat with Joni! Did my Hundreds in 3 different positions and it was really helping everything activate and wake up!
Tried to do some crutch walking, but worked on some of the inefficiencies with my right leg swing!
On floor, doing reciprocal inhibition, and finding this supine yoga time to be so beneficial for loosening me up before the end of the night! I can feel so much throughout my body!
7//8/26 – Life Outlook
Well I don’t know if last nights floor session was enough prone time! But I’m glad I got there sooner! Boy oh boy sometimes is it hard for me to sleep in, when it’s time to get up, it’s time to get up!
I’m gonna get moving this morning, and hopefully I can get in the standing frame sooner to help this left hip! More to come!
Everything is feeling awake and alive, lots of early morning sensations today!
How do you want to look at life? Happy to still be alive? Or pissed you got part of your life taken away from you? Is it both? Is it less? Is it something more?
the cost of not trying is higher than the cost of trying and falling short. Thats basically where I am at right now, so I’m not gonna stop for anything.
Getting my body in as many positions as I can has really been interesting for sensation! It’s definitely helping!
Hard walk today!
Great floor session!
4/29/26 – Habitual & Unthinking Behaviour
Heaviness. Fullness. Contractions. It’s very interesting trying to find the right combo of que’s to activate my posterior chain, and let my anterior chain let go. I haven’t quite found the right combination. What’s also interesting, is my body seems to relax a lot more when I distract my mind from it? My left hip flexor this morning and most of the night was not being very relaxed or cooperative. My right side? LOADS better! I can feel an exponential increase in fullness, activation, and sensation filling in from the glutes and around to the outside where your IT band is, wrapping around into the quads! Which is amazing! My right hip flexor is relaxed, leg is straightening out, calves are on, goodness it feels like a real leg!
But then when you move to my left side, there’s under activation on my left side in places I would like, and over activation in places I don’t! He doesn’t want to or maybe it’s he doesn’t feel safe in extension, and my right leg does? I’ve been hearing these theories floating around about “joint safety” and I honestly can’t help but think about the events that my body experienced during the accident. “What positions was I in?” “Why is my left hip flexor so over active?” “Did my body tighten up a certain way to try to protect me?” Are some of the questions that float into my mind. It’s tricky, because I don’t remember what happened, so who knows if I’ll ever know?
The spinal cord is so interesting to me because it acts reflexively. Meriam-Webster has other definitions for this word, when it’s used in another context, but in our bodies, “characterized by habitual and unthinking behavior” is what it means here for me. The spinal cord transfers nerve signals, contains reflex arcs, as well as central pattern generators (CPGs). Central pattern generators (CPGs) are self-organizing biological neural circuits[1][2] that produce rhythmic outputs in the absence of rhythmic input.[3][4][5] They are the source of the tightly-coupled patterns of neural activity that drive rhythmic and stereotyped motor behaviors like walking, swimming, breathing, or chewing. The ability to function without input from higher brain areas still requires modulatory inputs, and their outputs are not fixed. [1]
It’s interesting because CPGs are almost like a mix between reflexes, and volitional control. I’ve found that when I spend too much time thinking about my walking during a walking session, it just messes me up? I haven’t found out the mechanism as to why this is? But it’s interesting because I know our spinal cord stores reflexes, and it’s almost like that’s a central theme to most of our movement, before we regain volitional control?
Kinda how babies are born with reflexes, but slowly gain the abilities of volitional movement?
It’s so fascinating to me, because as I lay here on my back, thinking about something else, my body relaxes. Muscles soften, legs slowly move into extension. Not perfectly, and not fully yet, but seemingly a heckuva lot better than when I manually try to force my left leg out in extension? Which makes me think about reflexes, reflex arcs, and how “not thinking” seems to be tied into all this somehow?
Again, right leg fullness from yesterday morning increased again! My body is responding to the stimulus I put upon it! Who knows, maybe I just am on to something?
Trying to get myself to sleep sooner, and get better rest. This is another goal of mine for my recovery. I know this is hugely beneficial.
Hopefully we have a good session today with the students! First time doing some walking without the PTs or Callie!
First walk without Callie or PTs!!
Went well!!
Standing frame to round out the night!
4/30 – Crazy Sights
You know it’s always interesting, to try to gauge if I got enough sleep or not. It really is tricky. I don’t quite understand what all goes into fatigue from the previous day. Mental work and physical? Either way, I’m running late! Better get going!
Up in the standing frame after dinner, and my legs did the most peculiar thing?!? As I was lowering down, I could feel them twitching and working to hold me up as I was lowering down!?!
Made it on floor – stretched out
Pelvic floor work
Goodness I’m tired. My eyesight was wild today. It was going in and out of focus, I felt tired, and I don’t know why? Why was this? I just wanted to get some rest? So weird? Time for rest finally.
5/1/26 – Gold Lattice
And just like that, the month of April has flown by?! It’s already May 1st, and there’s so much to still do!
I had a dream of a wood veneer with a painted gold lattice as the top layer? Kinda interesting? Wonder what that all means?
I’m trying something different this morning, I got my feet out from under the covers, to get my ankles and feet stretched out, and to give them space to extend, relax, and push out to the bottom edge of the bed! The fullness is real! The activation is ever growing! I honestly can’t wait till I can keep / start loading more and more weight thru my legs! I mean, I guess that’s already what I’m kinda doing with all the transfers and moves I do? I just need my legs to keep helping, bit by bit, a little more each time!
What a routine for the day. Standing frame, walk, standing frame, floor. I’m honestly using my legs for a good portion of the day, it’s not just the walks I’m doing! Which is great! I am always wondering, “what more can I do?” And I guess, it’s just being consistent right now.
Therese was talking too, about plateaus and needing to persevere thru them. Not letting them stop you from your continued work. I don’t feel like I’ve plateaued at all, but it was an interesting idea to mentally prepare for? Which, in retrospect, I suppose I have worked thru some minor ones, albeit I have been always feeling something new! Some change!
Being consistent I think has always been a problem of mine. And I’m working every day to change that. For so much that I am working on in my life. The slow grind is really where the magic happens. So I guess with that, I will have to get up and continue working on all the things! Busy day ahead! Appt, work, team building, appt, new home work, personal project work. Boy there’s hardly any time in there for rest!
I don’t know what I’m waiting for in my writing? It feels like I’m trying to also stumble upon something new and innovative to do or try? There’s this busyness I have this morning? Huh? Interesting weird thought!
I fell at PT
I Pissed my pants
My seat cushion was left at the house, we had to go all the way back and get it
Rough afternoon. Yuck Dangit. Time for rest.
5/2/26 – Short Note
There’s always a desire to want to wake up feeling good in the morning. This morning, not so much.
Short note for today. Got in standing frame – project work.
Dinner
Time for rest. Let’s pick it up next week.
Works Cited
The Astronaut on Earth 
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