8/9/26 – Late Summer Rain
I’m over this illness I seem to have gotten. This sucks. It’s squeezing me everywhere. This ain’t fun. AT ALL.
I’m gonna have to go into Urgent Care. Ugh.
While I’m waiting, I’ve been thinking about something. It’s this, I am having the hardest time completing anything, it feels like.
Why is our spinal cord affected so much when we’re sick? Why can I feel so much more or so differently in areas below my injury when I’m sick? What does intra-abdominal pressure have to do with standing and why isn’t that talked about more? I seem to have more questions than answers these days. Hmm.
We live such fast paced lives. When the weather decides to thunder and lightening, we can’t slow down to wait the storm out. We have to keep going. There are times I think it makes sense to keep working through a storm, like if you were out at sea and you need to keep your ship afloat, running true, and not capsize. But what about all of us in the 21st century where we aren’t worried about that? What then?
I can feel the pull and towards the silence and the noise. Keeping ourselves moving, towards anywhere, and then also the pull to lie motionless, flat.
I’m sitting here in my car, in the middle of a thunderstorm. Listening to the rain droplets strike the surface of the car, like an endless series of ice scrapes off your car in winter, but bite sized, and completely covering the surfaces around you.
The rain and storm is passing over, it’s quieting down now. The rain sounds more like a slushing sand than the ice scrapes from before. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful. It’s letting up. The gurgles and churns that are the thunder are letting go. The lightening cracks are widening and less abrupt. Almost like they’re also learning how to ease.
When do you ever hear the sounds of rain hitting a metal surface above your head? Only in a rainstorm, not in a shower? It’s the opposite, you’re letting the rainfall on your body whereas this is specifically holding it out? Experiencing the rain, being held out, while I’m inside, just left with my thoughts. Trying not to think of anything else besides the rain. The parking lot isn’t empty, but I’m not worried about what’s going on around me.
Made it thru the day. Up in the standing frame twice, and each time I made it a point not to look down! Not looking down. Taking the brakes off. Finishing projects. Honestly, I need to do this. I think I can. Just slowly keep chipping, your content is here, just get it across the finish line! Long day, I think I’m feeling better finally… oof!
8/10/26 – Consistency
What I’m going to work on this week —- is closing out items that I have control over. I think I’ve been too passive in my own life. I have been sick on and off for the past week, but that’s allowed me to see some of the ramifications of being too idle. My body and engine want to go! I know what it takes to get moving more. Consistent movement, consistent socialization, consistent calorie intake. All these ups and downs and all arounds of what these past few MONTHS have been is really wreaking havoc on my immune system, so I need to get things back in check.
Movement – non-negotiable. Get either at PT, on the bike, or the gym. Get in the standing frame 2-3x a day. That would be a good day for movement.
Socialization – let’s make it a goal now with this new team to try to get acquainted with them. Your body and mind are craving communication and socialization from more people, and I think you need to work to make this happen. Let’s do it.
Calorie Intake – let’s be consistent. I don’t know what your gut has been up to now for the past couple weeks, but this past week was Hell Week for the tum. Let’s help fuel your body for all the activities and life you would like to live!
And then projects – I think the house is doing pretty good right now. Let’s start tackling a few of the other items I know you would like to address!
The standing frame session yesterday has got these knees and quads firing up! I’m having such an increase in fullness and activation in them, I just need to keep it up! Micromovements, full range of motion, strength. Let’s see what we can do!
What would a good split at the PT & gym look like?
- Mon – PT & OT
- Tues – Morning Gym
- Wed – PT & bike?
- Thurs – Morning Gym
- Fri – PT
- Sat – Walk & Bike
- Sun – Walk & Bike
If you just set a schedule to your days and times, you’re going to be a lot more successful trying to hit this. Getting 1-2x workouts or activities in a day will do your body and mind wonders! And if it’s 1-2hrs, you still have time to approach whatever else life throws at you! Also it’s not asking anyone else too much, 2x a week for some help with Callie would be perfect! The split with PT / OT great too! And then you have 2-5 activities you are doing on your own. Perfect.
Let’s try that this week!
I’m just trying to capitalize on the fact I have muscles waking up on my posterior side! Maybe do a quicker lunch time session of half an hour? Back work with feet on floor?
You can do this. You owe this to yourself after getting the house, renovating, going to Europe. It’s okay to prioritize what I just said, these aren’t anything crazy!
If I want to prioritize extension work, trying to do some pulling or pushing exercises while my hips and knees are extended in some way I think will be the big ticket item. Let’s do it!
How could I measure my own intra-abdominal pressure? Is there any way to do this? I feel like I’m on the verge of picking up my legs, but I need to build the support structure to do so!?!
I wonder…. Is Hope the lubricant for a neurological signal? Like, it’s not what’s going to be what makes it happen, but what if it helps clear the path for the signals to be able to be transmitted??
Wow! PT & OT today! Goodness! This went great!! Honestly this was super cool kicking things off with Danica! We haven’t worked together in a minute, and it was a blast to get caught back up and trying some new and wild things! She’s always willing to try something new and help me build off some crazy thing I’ve been trying!
Honestly, that’s why I like working with all these gals at Marquette! They all are very willing to try all sorts of interesting ideas!
So, we work on some interesting balance board / wheels unlocked maneuvers! This was great because we were trying all sorts of different sets with this variation! It’s wild, she’s always got a great way of helping the session go so dang well! This was wild!
At PT I was doing some really awesome work then with Ashley! We had used the spinal stim for the first time with the braces, and then added ankle weights as well for extra feedback! My feet and legs ended up getting “warm” and also I was more in extension than I ever was! This was great!!
Working on my Backwards Walk
Walking with No Shoes and Socks
8/11/26
Welp I must have turned my alarm off!! That spinal stim is waking up all the pathways in my legs!!! This is quite the eventful morning and night in my legs down there! I can feel such an incredible amount! This is so dang hopeful when I wake up and feel this way! Especially out in extension! This is so cool!
Here’s to a busy day! I got a lot to do and figure out today!
What sucks is all the time I wasted before the accident.
The smell of shit and irritated shit in your gut all day is enough to make you want to go mad. I’ve had a headache all afternoon.
What even is the world? What even is this world we live in?
I’m just not looking forward to anything anymore. This is awful. Feeling depleted and deplored right now. Ugh.
8/12/26 – Self Talk
Don’t give up, Joe. Things might be looking pretty lame, right about now. You might not be very excited, happy, or motivated to really be doing much of anything right now, but don’t stop. You got this. Don’t let yourself be discouraged. Remember what you said about Hope? How it’s the oil that lubricates your ways for neurological signals? Well, don’t give up hope now. It’s right now your body and mind need it.
it’s not always easy, fun, glamorous, or anything of that sort. But if we keep it up, I think we can make some really interesting things happen!
Glutes over the past two days after the spinal stim are more active than ever! Also, the …..
PT / Pilates went really well today too!! Walked a great distance, got loosened up, and then had an awesome session getting my legs straighter than ever on the reformer!
Therese said, not everything is always going to get done…. We are doing what we can, and that’s honestly a TON.
I was sitting more upright and stable than I have to date! Even on the drive home, I was able to rotate and look over my left shoulder more than ever before as well! That took me by a huge surprise!
It’s almost like I need two triggers, to help my muscles respond? potentially?
I didn’t realize until just now, but I didn’t learn to push the wheelchair one handed, without the other hand supporting me, until just within the past week or so? This honestly has me blown away!?!??? I didn’t realize this until just now while talking to Callie?!
This is wild, this all started with needing to grab a hot drink…..
I was up on the third floor, and I didn’t want to get some decaf because of my upset stomach. Coincidence or not, I got violently sick the night I also slammed like 3 cups of decaf. I think….
Either way, I ended up grabbing a hot tea. So I went down the 3rd floor to first,
How about that auditory feedback of your feet stompin’ on the ground? Is this helpful?
Eating soup with brakes unlocked!!!
8/13/26 – Consolidation Day
HUGE WAKE UP DAY FOR FEET AND LEGS!! Holy smokes there’s a ton of activation and sensation increase!!!
My legs today were active, active and stabilizing, to the utmost degree! I am shocked with how much they are able to change not only on any given day but on such a big day for movement!
8/13/26 – Rhythmic Motions
Days like yesterday, I really need to be vigilant about making sure later in the day to get in some movement. It’s not always easy, but I know I’ll sleep much better if I do.
Honestly busy day today!
I was doing some rythmic, almost shake weight motion with my water bottle, and the oscillation and vibration was really waking my whole body up with each rep! It was kinda wild!?!
Need some rest, but had a lot of time upright today. My low abdomen is really awful my right now. Somethings waking up.
8/15/26 – In Betweeners
Big consolidation day today! I’ve learned I really need my electrolytes! I could feel it in my head and body yesterday during PT, and honestly it’s very fascinating when I come to these realizations. My body was stretched out, but because I wasn’t hydrated with my electrolytes, it didn’t quite seem to matter?
I had an interesting thought yesterday, about the fascia? What if a big portion of my recovery is getting information to my fascia? Stretching, electrolytes, body safe in upright and new positions, what if this is helping retrain the fascia to feel safe again in my body in all these different positions? Because a lot of times when I’m up in the braces and walker, it’s not the muscle strength that feels like the issue, it’s tightness from “somewhere”? And it seems like it could be from the fascia? I wonder what the latest research is on hydrating the fascia and helping the fascia feel safe?
Yesterday it was all from my low middle abdomen that was making my walk difficult, as soon as whatever it is loosens up, I can feel the right muscles firing up and activating way more! Shoot, my feet are sending even more activation and sensation!
Let’s see what’s out there because I’m very interested!
I have a feeling that doing this passively will help my legs engage more and more from a partial extended seat height, while doing things! I need a bridge between wheelchair height and standing and I think this could be it?
The Astronaut on Earth 
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