2/2
Wow! These hundreds on the floor are feeling wild, I can feel some sort of reciprocal contractions going on in my abdomen that are timed with my exhale/ push down of the air?! This is really wild, I’ve never felt them firing like this before?? Let me do another set to confirm the contraction type….. I’m back! Yeah, did another set and I can’t quite put my finger on the timing, hard to Focus on all these things at once! Let’s just focus on the movement for now!
I’m also doing these laying twists, and it’s helping open up my torso so well! I also can move my legs back and forth like windshield wipers on my own!!!
Hmm, so the springs are the muscles on the outside of our body… this has got me thinking, without the resistance, our muscles aren’t going to respond right, because this also helps initiate the stretch reflex in our legs? Is that reciprocal movement paired with resistance is helping getting the muscles to “wake up”? This idea is an interesting concept to explore, because that’s what I’m legitimately doing, waking up the muscles, and getting function back. It’s also interesting because the springs are passive tools, not an active person’s hand. like when I’m doing these wheelchair leg stretches, no one but me is doing the movement?
Thinking about how the spring increases tension as its length increases (for an extension spring), it’s very much the opposite as a muscle, I think. Wait, there are compression springs too, so maybe muscles are just a really interesting “dynamic spring”? Muscles increase tension in various ways, eccentric, concentric, and isometrically. The first, eccentric, is when the external loading is greater (eccentric), then external loading is less (concentric), and last, when they are the same (isometrically). I think I need to learn more about how length comes into play as well. The Length- Tension relationship, force- velocity curve, as well as the neuromuscular control are the areas I need some learning on. “Contracting muscle moves the freest segment of the joint” is a key concept in kinesiology, and I need to commit this one to memory.
Seeing the springs move? How does this also tie into the building of the neuromuscular connection?
Connecting my upper body to my lower body. This idea is fun to think about because that quite literally is what I am trying to accomplish. Get my functional bits to talk with my non-communicating bits. Seems like a simple enough idea to capture this, eh?
Callie and I just did some reciprocal stretching! Breathe in for counts of 5, and then out on counts of 5 while folded over! These felt great!
Left hamstring is really tight today. Even after getting in the astronaut pants. That fella. He needs some rest.
I can really feel my internal obliques/ lower abdomen trying to contract when I’m doing this adduction exercises with the magic circle!
“Life’s Ironies are not charming” – Just a quote that rings true to me these days.
Lateral thinking, this is an idea that I need to build and expand on! More on this later!
2/3
I’m going to take a second and just get this out of the way. I really had a hard time today, especially when my brothers had texted me. Today at therapy too, was hard because I had to do a PT evaluation, and I don’t agree with how they do these types of evals. I can get into that more later.
I am having a hard time. It’s not easy. And I guess today was a day where some of those feelings came out. I see and feel how connected I am with my body, and it pains me to have to see my body try so hard to do these movements, with no avail. I know that they are working in there, getting the signals, seriously trying, it’s just such bullshit that they haven’t been making more progress in a way that matters to the PT evals. I guess that’s what it feels like. This feeling after all that at PT is worse than failing a test. It’s failing a test you studied so hard for, but you failed anyways. What’s that feeling called? I don’t know if it has a name. I guess it’s just really crappy of a feeling.
Ugh. It makes me sad. I know my legs, they are trying. I guess progress isn’t linear. It’s just hard like this on these days. On a positive note, I was doing some really good sit to stands, and I was doing some eccentric loading of the glutes that went really well today. I did get stretched out.
Huh, I wonder if there is something there, with the springs and the stretch reflex, and spasticity? Wait, dampers are velocity dependent. You could legitimately slow down the spasticity with dampers. Would that be enough to help retrain your spinal cord and brain to rewire it appropriately?
2/4
Chalazion in the eye. That’s the scoop the doctor is going to have to take out in a few weeks. Really fun to have so many things wrong with me. Ugh!
All the sights in the neighborhood around Cramer St. I’ll never forget them at the height from the Tacoma, or from the seat of the bike, or from running height on the sidewalk with Max! I honestly will never let these thoughts go. I had a therapy appointment over on this side of town, and all those thoughts came flooding in.
Tight muscles and parking in the street, not exactly the best combo. You ever see a guy parallel park on a side street with all the other cars, and then get out in a wheelchair? Yeah me neither. I guess there’s always a first for everything. Goodness it’s good out too.
Gotta get to the gym and move this body a bit!
So, I didn’t make it to the gym. It was an evening spent helping Callie. Sometimes we need evenings/ afternoons like that.
I made it on the floor this afternoon! And I’m pleasantly surprised with how much sensation has changed today! In my right knee, my right glute, and honestly, when I got in the car, there was definitely a “crack” of the back, like when you twist, that I haven’t felt this entire time with the metal in my back. Which, was pretty interesting.
I feel like I need a way for me to work on the computer/ work on my design ideas, when I’m laying down. I need to help allow myself this ability. I have so many thoughts/ ideas, I need to be able to put them in motion, but I don’t really have a good “space” to do it.
Also, having some thoughts about this. Clinically, spasticity results from the loss of inhibition of motor neurons, causing excessive velocity-dependent muscle contraction. I really just do not like this term or idea. If it’s proven that exercise helps muscle spasticity, there’s obviously something to this. Also, I think I may have a few ideas for how to improve upon this. More on this later. Really, it’s just that. A lack of inhibitory neurons. A partial signal. But, STILL a signal!!!
2/5
WOW I SLEPT SO MUCH LAST NIGHT! I haven’t gotten this good of sleep in a VERY long time!
This is really interesting, because I can feel how being on the floor really allows my legs to “relax”. They never get to do that very much when I’m in the chair, and I really need to get my hamstrings to relax and take a break. Hopefully this floor time is getting them lengthened, and allowing my quads a chance to actually fire!
Wow, got on the floor today, made it to the standing frame, then to therapy, made dinner, then the floor and back again. It’s really good how much my legs are going these days. They have so much energy and they want to do more! I’m really happy with them, making these small gains every day!
I think it’s interesting too, I think I’m making some progress on the side project too, to be continued!
I really have been feeling so much of my legs! Goodness, my lung scar and “area under the curve” is getting so much more sensation, it’s incredible! My legs and feet responded really well to kicking off the footplate today too! I need to be mindful of those opportunities!
Something too, I’ve noticed, is while on the floor, I am able to get my legs to move so much more than they usually have been, and it shows. Kick backs, and pull throughs while crawling are getting a lot better!
I just realized something. How many things do we do in our everyday life, that with enough repetition, are then able to be done without looking? I’m doing it right now as I type this message out. I don’t need to even look at my hands. I don’t know exactly when I learned to type, but it’s almost like an extension off my body? I am wondering, is this similar to what babies/ infants are doing with their legs while they are crawling?
Just need to make sure I’m calling up insurance to get me all approved. I’ll have to call tomorrow. Enough for tonite.
Procedural memory, Motor learning, these are some ideas I’ll expand on later!
2/6
Sometimes, it feels like my body/ my legs specifically are in a cage. They’re in the there, and they so desperately need to get out. Each day when I wake up, I feel new sensations, more controlled movements, maybe less tingle, the cool feelings, muscles relaxing, and activation in a new place. There is so much that happens! I really feel it all taking place. Fortunately, yesterday I was able to get to the floor, the standing frame, PT, and the floor again! Which is just me moving my legs more and more! I really need it. I better get up and get moving!
Wow! Made it to work and then home in a decent time! I also got on the floor and boy are my legs making some great gains! When I got off the floor, I realized a step increase in sensation for my lower right leg, and ankle! It was incredible!! I did also get a little raw from a misplaced knee pad, but it really wasn’t too bad? Not sure, just the skin got rubbed off it looked like.
But the sensation increase was incredible! Also, the Art museum was really cool with Bruce and Luis! I got a poem book by Maya Angelou, she honestly has some really inspiring words that resonate with me. Especially recently. I feel these words, and it helps remind me and keep the strength in me. As to often it’s easy for the strength to want to fade, but I won’t and I can’t let it. I need to continue to be strong. And consistent. I known that these gains are coming together! Oh yeah, the books called, “Life Doesn’t Frighten Me”. Was honestly some really well put language to some thoughts we all have. I liked that a lot.
2/7
I woke up this morning thinking about the Total Gym! And also how it was so useful/ valuable to me because it was a way for me to do deep squats with assistance! I honestly am tempted/ thinking about trying to get one/ donate one to Marquette so that the therapists can help me do these until I’m ready to do them on my own! I think it’s a great tool and honestly now with Pilates, it reminds me of the Pilates reformer, so maybe it wouldn’t be a bad investment to make/ donate???
I’m really thinking about concentric and eccentric loading control too, and I was visualizing those exercises this past night. I’ve been trying to incorporate again more mental visualization back into my routine, because that isn’t something that I’ve done recently, and I just started that up again!
Well, this was great. I just went to try to crawl back to the chair to go to the bathroom, and what happened next totally surprised me, I didn’t see this coming. I started to pee. On my hands and knees like a dog. That sure was humiliating. I honestly wasn’t expecting that one. Ive been cold and shivery all morning, and it just doesn’t feel like it’s letting up. I don’t understand, why my body does these things sometimes.
My legs feel wild right now, and that whole experience on the floor has me feeling pretty out of it right now. I guess, I should be okay in a bit, but I’m pretty cold, shivery, and my legs feel wild.
It’s really interesting, I had a drink, and I’m noticing how my feet really are feeling how they need to connect with the ground. Sounds silly, but the idea of connecting your feet to the ground and putting weight through your feet, a different idea, really helps you visualize where your feet need to be and go!
Also, I’m realizing that the conversation with Ian was fun because we both acknowledge the crazy happenings that are occurring in the world and this country, and we both were teaching and showing each other topics that were really relevant!
Or like, the challenges we do each day allow us to try something new? Like putting out a candle that’s too high for you to reach sitting down, so you figure something else out. That was me just moments ago, I put the candle out with an oven pot because I couldn’t reach. Maybe not the best use of kitchen cookware, but you gotta do what you gotta do!
How do I balance and pull a wheelie effectively with the low backrest, and tired abdomen? I’m pooped!
Sending signals from muscle to brain via a held position or situated stretch? Things to think about!
How do our legs and glutes (seated areas) more efficiently put more weight through themselves?
Doing repetitive movements for our legs, and muscles is really good for them! I just had to put that on paper but it’s so true!
2/8
Wow! The intense buildup of sensations from my glutes, quads, abdomen, feet, and lower legs is wonderful this morning! I really have been focusing when I’m going to sleep and waking up on doing a few rounds of mental visualization exercises to start and end the day while I’m closing my eyes and just opening them! Boy are they really helping! I really like this! I honestly don’t think I knew or fully realized I need to be contracting my muscles through the entire movement of a squat, deadlift, or single leg deadlift. Taking time to slow down and work on some mental rehearsal has been much needed. If I feel the muscles activating while doing the mental exercises, I am definitely working the mental pathways for them as well!
Wow! I was doing these seated leg lifts + isolating the movements for my left and right! I would dip into a hinge partially supported by my arms, and as I was hinging back at my hips, I was simultaneously kicking out! My legs were kicking out further than ever before! This was intense! I need to keep up working these quads and glutes throughout the day like this!!
Doing some movements in the chair with just my socks on, and kicking my legs out and stretching out aren’t so bad, but when I tried to get in the standing frame, my feet slipped…. And that caused me to slip out and need to call for some help. Ugh. Just pause and reset. I want to get on the floor to move around but first gotta use the bathroom, it’s kinda frustrating I need to be so mindful of that to avoid what happened yesterday, that was chaotic.
Whoa. This is wild. I feel like I’m never alone. It honestly makes me pretty sentimental, because I know that it used to be Max and I.
I wonder what it is about doing things by myself? Also, I wonder about how and why our legs activate more in certain positions, and then less in other positions? I’m laying on my back right now, and it’s really hard to engage my quads, I’m really trying to stretch my hamstrings out, and not are they tight?
Wow! I’m really getting my legs extended!!! These hamstrings are letting go, but boy does it take some work! I feel like I really need to focus on exercises for strengthening my quads after the hamstrings are relaxed? What are good quadruped exercises to do for quads?
These rows are working my lats really good today! Holy smokes, all this stretching has really helped me activate my quads!! I can really feel them working to stabilize when I’m working the rows right now!
Dang, holy smokes, I’m doing seated forward leans with weight, with the same setup as the rows. So instead of using my arms, I’m hinging at the hips! And so I lock my arms in towards me, brace my abs, and work my glutes and quads! I am really feeling these! I wonder how good of a workout this is for them?
It’s really interesting, this movement really feels like I’m waking up my quads and glutes! Shucks, I went over to the water bottle filler/ drinking fountain, and I couldn’t fit my leg under it! I legitimately can feel the engagement! I think these higher rep workouts are really helping with the neurological signal! that’s really a huge part for what these muscles need, so I better keep it up! Wow my quads are feeling good! I’m really feeling them! I was also timing my breath better, so I could contract my abdomen better as well, which felt good!
It’s really nice to feel the tightness leave my body and upper back when I’m doing some weight training. It’s a pretty good feeling to get those muscles to work the way they’re supposed to.
Taking a rest on the body before we gotta go out again. It’s always a good feeling how much I get these legs engaged and activated! I need to do this more often, especially during the week! And now I’m in the bed, and they can rest.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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