12/22
So, I realize one thing that I’m doing that’s been so helpful, so impactful to my recovery, and I just started doing this a couple weeks ago. That’s trying to turn my muscles “on” and having them all be able to stay “on” at the same time, just as you would while you were standing, or in the stance phase for walking. I realize that a lot of my muscles now in my legs are on and ready, they are accepting signals, and they are able to be useful! This is especially true for the glutes and the quads. I feel them there and apart of my body.
I realize too, that to get my glutes to contract, I gotta think more about squeezing a penny back there, it really helps! As silly as it sounds, it’s a mental image that I feel really makes sense!
Waking up last night, was a good moment for me to check in on my sensations. I’m now very reliably finally getting my feet out of bed on my own. this has been a huge milestone! This has taken me MONTHS to figure out, and it’s taken a lot of core strength, leg strength (and leg relaxation) for this to occur! Which is insane to finally think I’m doing this! It’s been a long time coming, now it’s to get my legs in, that’s another story. That’s been extremely difficult.
I’m really feeling these legs progress, today will be some active stretching on the ground, in the standing frame, and the astronaut pants, to give my legs a bit of a break!
“the freedom for which the schedule creates” is a thought I’ve had recently. It’s really been true for me. Take care of my body, and the rest has been falling in place a bit. If I go to the bathroom regularly when I feel the urge, eat well, hydrate, exercise, stretch, and go to therapy, I really feel so much better to tackle other individual tasks. It’s really interesting how this happens, because a schedule is a bit of an opposite to freedom. Interesting how that works out? By dedicating your time to the important tasks and sticking to them, it really does free up your spare time outside of the tasks you have to do.
So, I definitely stretched out my legs today! I got down on the floor and was moving around so good! Feels great to move them!
I definitely did some really straight leg sit to stands after the stretch, although my legs weren’t feeling as engaged as before the stretch, they were definitely getting much straighter!
I’m wondering, what’s the next big step? Reciprocal movement is definitely part of it, I am not sure how I can incorporate this?
12/23
Can you do it? Can you do one new thing each day? Like kicking both my feet off the footplate, I can do that now!! This has been a huge step towards getting my legs and muscles towards my goal of voluntary control! little things like that will add up quite a bit over time!
12/24
So! I am doing it! The Contralateral movement exercises feel great! I’m going to do it, I’m going to try to do something new everyday for 2025. Each day, just one thing. That’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. It’s going to be tough, but I think this is manageable! If I can get my legs and body doing one new thing each day, I’m really excited to see what I’ll be doing a year from now!
What’s really interesting as I’m working on these leg exercises by myself, I’m noticing how much the tingling goes down when I do this. Must be a combination of activation, movement, and intentional movement that is helping all of this?
So, made it to the gym, worked out and did some slow controlled Tai Chi movements, did Christmas Eve, and I am pooped! This was an interesting day, and I’m completely exhausted!
My legs today and as well as my feet, from the slow movements, really had a significant change! Shoot! I was able to pull my legs to my chest and get them into bed on my own today! This was a first!! This was huge! I haven’t done this before!! I’m going to have to mark this, because by the end of 2025, I want to have completed 365 new tasks! I think I can do this! It is going to be a lot, but I think I can do this!
It’s so wild, these slow controlled movements, that are coordinated with my breath, were really helping this morning! Intentional movement. That’s what I am doing, and that’s what I really need. I really need to focus on this! My legs are responding so well!
So this paired with a good diet, PT, OT, cardio, standing frame, crawling/ floor routine, weight training, and now Tai Chi/ slow controlled movements. This is really where I’m at. I’m doing a lot. This is intense, but all manageable. I’m really trying to keep all of these activities all in check. The progress of the activities are going well, just slow ramp up of more and more activity really helps with this adjustment.
12/25
Had a wonderful day over at Callie’s folks place! We had a lot of fun! It was really sweet of them to have me! I was really glad to be there and for them to have me!
It’s Christmas! Why am I in the gym at 6:06pm??? Okay, so going down my right leg, the right outer part, is feeling so much engagement right now at the gym!!!!! This is amazing! Not to mention, both my legs are firing so much to keep me upright! This is amazing! Yeah this isn’t just the right outside, it’s really moving into the top! And the entire upper leg! This last set I was focusing in on my lower legs, and I need to get them recruited as well!
WOW!!! I reracked the 5lb weights by myself!!! Wait wait, I reracked them without using my other hand to hold myself up! AND then I picked them up one handed without an additional hand for support! Okay, so this is wild…. Feels like after I do something “once” my body is like so much more confident doing that motion??
I’m leaning over, moving the weight and the pin in the cable machine, and noticing how much easier these movements all are! It’s crazy!
12/26
Holy smokes!!!! My ankles and feet are feeling insane! I had to get up to go to the bathroom, and they are feeling so full and so much! This is wild!!!
Made it to the gym today! Before noon! Got up, showered, got dressed, got to the gym! Ate right, and am feeling pretty good. I realize too, I need to make sure I have some days like this. Good for my body, restful, and without too many distractions! Just need to be peaceful and at rest today. It’s hard to keep everything straight sometimes!
Okay, so made it to the gym for some cardio, made it on the floor, and I’m in the gym again! This is great! I’m trying to do the chest exercises with my feet on the floor, they are hard! If it’s hard, it’s probably good for me to do! also, it’s crazy how easily my mind can wander from idea to idea, there is so much to do and so much going on!
I wonder why my body battery drops more when I’m stationary in the chair and not doing a lot, as opposed to working out? Like does this have to do with stress? And my body gets stressed in the chair and it makes it harder to be awake/ present?
12/27
Well this upcoming year I would like to make a couple new things happen. I would like to say thank you. I have so many thank you’s to send out, as I’m doing something new with my body, I’m going to do the same for everyone. Kinda like my own version of my name is Earl. There are over 400 donations, so I figure I can at the very least thank and send them a message on gofundme! I started already! 2 down, 401 to go! I really can’t believe that so many people went out of their way for me. It’s incredible how kind people when joined together can truly be.
It really is and was so special that so many people had gave me donations. It means the world to me to know that I have had the opportunity to get therapy at Marquette! I would not be where I am today without that! It all means so much.
It was really interesting too, today on the drive. I felt intense and mildly painful shooting pain down my back, down what felt like the entire length of the left rods. This was very intense, because I was also driving, and trying to maintain my composure. I ended up realizing that feeling was exacerbated by the urge to have to go number 1 as well, so I started to use that as a sign to go. Weird, how my body is always making changes.
When we got out for the first bathroom break, I got into the chair, and when I did, I felt so upright? For a moment, I felt tall enough to get up and stand? It was interesting. I was definitely very stable.
The drive seemed to drag on all day. Getting up at 6am, and then being busy until we arrived at 6:30pm, was intense. Goodness gracious these drives are hard on me. They are a battle of both mental and physical stamina. My body battery on my watch was in the lowest category ‘very low’ since 2pm. I didn’t make it to sleep until 11pm. That’s a long day.
I even got on the floor! And attempted to move around, but boy was I pooped! My left leg was being a bit troublesome, and my right leg was exhausted. Goodness.
Long day. Glad to be home and see my parents!
12/28
So waking up this morning, my legs are full. They are tingly, as I have to go to the bathroom, but full. I am always thinking now of “one new thing to do” and how I can incorporate that into my daily routine! I’m glad I’m making a list to help me keep track!
I’m definitely feeling the large urge to go, and need to get started with taking care of this body. The freedom that comes from the schedule really helps.
I shouldn’t say fiery abysmal, but they are tough. Feelings and sensations that would put other people in the hospital, I’m like feeling while driving 70 down I-94..
My body is changing so much, every trip is different for me. There are so many new feelings and sensations, it’s hard to keep up. I truly feel like a different person on each one of these trips. From an early form of infancy, I feel my body is truly making a wonderful change to fill in this adult body I have. But this process is messy. It’s as tough as roughing in a house. It’s just not an easy time. But I do think that it’s slowly but surely getting better everyday. Without these changes, where would I be? Glad to say that I’m still changing. Just one day at a time.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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