3/29/26 – Dead of a Storm
Goodness! How many days left here in March?! This month flew by! Really quite the flurry, if I’m being honest!
I made it up in the braces yesterday for a good walk! My legs not even a couple hours later were already feeling more full than they had before the walk!
We laid down to watch a movie, and this is when it got interesting! My legs and breath were so coordinated, it was interesting! I was working so hard on extending out my legs, and keeping them extended. But, it wasn’t until Cal helped me get my left leg extended, that the magic started to happen. I noticed, once my leg was straight, how difficult it was for me to take a deep breath into my lower left abdomen. It was actually hard! So I breathed into that area low and slow! And honestly I was able to help my legs out there! Slow consistent breathing is what it took to keep my legs relaxed! But as soon as I got a bit distracted, my left hip flexor and hamstring would spasm! And I needed to reset and start all over again with my controlled breathing? Like what? What is up with that?
It’s interesting how much fuller my body is feeling, and I talked to Callie, I think this will be the week I get up in the braces every day! I’m excited to feel the results!
I really needed some rest and relaxation yesterday, I had a cold that I had to shake, and get rid of the runny nose, and the headache. I think I’m in the clear! Thank goodness!
The hum, the buzz, the pulsating in my legs is always interesting in the morning. How my body is like a clock, ticking like an alarm, about to go off. He’s always trying to alert me of something. Urgency to go, movement, discomfort. These hums will pass thru me like a wave crescendoing and about to crash, with the leg spasms being what the crash is. But I try to maintain my slow controlled breath, like a sailor maintaining his course thru the dead of a storm, traversing these waves thru the electric rain, knowing that if I fall off course, a certain shock is imminent.
The belly rumble, the GI gurgle, the low activation and newfound interoception in the glutes, the pressure in the knees, increase in the lower legs, the tingle in the feet. All these areas are ripe with new activation, and I’m wondering how each day I can work in new activation? Or opportunities for my legs to be used? Is it always in standing? What else? What else can I do to bridge that gap?
I feel more settled, after finding some of these words to describe my current state of being. Like the storm is settling, the wind is smoothing out, and taking up the sails towards my destination. I’ve never explored this area of my mind, so intentionally, and it’s honestly been quite the ride. All the analogies, symbolism, syllogisms, you name it, these word mechanics are interesting to what they are able to do to the mind. Open the mind up? Help it with closure? Seems like writing has been such a good extension of our mind, as if our minds have almost evolved maybe, to need it? Per say? I’m not sure, but it’s really been interesting to experience.
Okay, the spasms kicked in. I think it’s about time to getup to go. Always an interesting way to have to get up? I guess? My body is talking and communicating, that’s what is important!
3/30/26 – “We’re all Fighting Our Own Battles” / Subconscious
It almost feels like this is going to unlock my hips into extension?! My controlled breathing in my abdomen? Working on relaxing on the inhale, contracting on the exhale, and allowing my hips and outer obliques to soften, while keeping glutes engaged? Is this going to be it? Do I need to master this in side lying, supine, and standing frame first before using the Exo or braces?
My left leg right now isn’t spasming and is more extended than he usually is! I spent a good amount of time working on this area of focus this weekend, how can I expand on this while seated?
My body simultaneously needs a lot of work, and a lot of rest. He’s doing so much! I need to keep up! I have good feelings about this week, so much is progressing!
Okay so this was weird. This was very interesting. What is it about our subconscious, and how does it affect our body’s ability to control itself? Because I could feel myself falling in and out of sleep, on my back, getting my legs more into extension than ever, and I hear my heels almost “creaking” in the bed? As they are slowly sliding out and I was slowly drifting in and out of sleep? Like what is this? How does our subconscious affect this?
“We’re all fighting our own battles” – wether we’re the old gentleman walking down the sidewalk with a limp, Garrett in PT, you name it. We’re all just fighting our own demons inside us, and we can’t ever really know what it’s like for someone else, on the other side.
Today at PT was great! Did some butt-scootches / hip pushes with Danica! She’s back after having her little one! My hips really opened up with these movements! My legs are always trying to push me up while getting up off the floor!
While up in the braces, I was at the crutches again, and BOY WAS THIS WILD! I quadrupled the distance I did in the crutches from last week! (Last week wasn’t very much, maybe 1-3 steps, maybe). But then, we did this cool thing where I was doing these modified planks in the KAFOs, and MY LEGS WOKE UP LIKE CRAZY! This was incredible!
It’s interesting how doing the modified planks, how awake my body was during and after doing that! It was incredible! It was truly like my legs and body were comfortable doing that, and I needed to get more and more time in that position! It’s an interesting idea, I feel like our bodies need to be loaded in all the different directions, and when we do that, we are able to load the muscle bodies in all the ways they are able to be loaded? As in, the muscle bellies aren’t optimized for single planes of motion, but more so they are optimized for multi-planar motion? It’s so weird to think about, because strength training seems to be very much built around seemingly a few planes of motion. But in actuality, our bodies are required to move in 3D space throughout our day?
I guess this idea is something I want to explore more with my legs, and body with how I’m working my legs in my recovery. I wonder what it would take to get upside down? Hanging down? Flipped around? All the ways? What does that do to our nervous system differently (or similarly) to how strength training works our muscle bellies? This is interesting because I haven’t found a ton of research on this? I’m curious if this exists
3/31/26 – At The Edge
Movement on the edge of my limits? Is that where new things are happening?
Dang! My lower left abdominal area isn’t all sweaty! My lower hips and back are feeling and freeing up so much! That work yesterday really got my body moving in new ways! I really need just a short stand and walk today to keep this up!
Huge increase in activation all the way down my legs! Also my legs weren’t all sweaty when I woke up!? The electrolytes and movement really helped!!
Made it for a nice quick walk! Baseball time! With some friends!
4/1 – Artemis II Launch!
My toes have got to have one of the most significant feelings of sensation increase yet to date!! I wonder if it’s all this modified plank work I’m doing up in the braces!?
Also, I think it’s sad all the delays to the Artemis II mission has had, but glad to see it moving! It’s interesting, I haven’t talked much about what is happening in space lately, but I have also had some more recent thoughts after reading about Nobel Laureate Feeeman Dyson. He’s had quite the impact on quantum theory and theoretical physics, it was only then that I considered the alternate possibilities for space exploration. More on that later.
Artemis II was able to launch today! What an exciting time to be getting back to the moon! This was amazing!
I realize too how significant just getting up for that shorter walk yesterday was for me! It was great! My whole body felt so active for the rest of the day and leading into today! I’m going to need to keep this up! I think I have an Exo day today!
4/2 – Hard Day / New Observations
You probably don’t need your phone when you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Turns out the sleep I just got from the past night was way better than I usually get my body actually got some rest!
My body is responding really well to get up walking in the braces every day this week! The legs wanna go! What’s interesting though is that my left foot wants to go in stance better while seated and the right better when standing? Never really noticed that till just yesterday?
Yesterday went really well! I actually got to do some cardio for the first time in a bit! I’m excited for the hand cycle!
So interesting feeling all the areas in the lower body that are waking up, but are all waking up at different times with different activation, and differing amounts. My whole lower midsection is really having a ton of new activation, but by lower right side isn’t activating as much as my left? I wonder if that’s why I’m having a harder time in stance on my life than on my right?
So what was interesting, is crossing my left leg over my right in a figure four, gave me some sort of GERD symptoms, interestingly enough. That whole area is connected by the fascia, and just by me putting my leg in that position, it must have to be tugging on my GI tract? I think?
4/3/26 – Reflections
I, uh. Well. Last night was hard. For so many reasons. Yesterday was hard, for so many reasons. I understand the timing absolutely sucked. UGH. I hate this. I hate how my body makes me feel. This morning I’m like, “not doing a lot” sore, and it’s getting to me. Ugh.
I really don’t know where I fit in, in this world. In any version of my past or future self. I want to be moving here, in the present. Yesterday was an absolutely awful day, for so many reasons. And a big one too was all the lack of movement. And missing appointments. I guess it all started from missing my first appt, and then it spiraled from there.
Let’s try to get that one back on the books today. Let’s get some movement in. Let’s be a kind and gracious person.
Ugh. Today is gonna be a hard day. Let’s see how it goes.
Tired, got up and did a good 300ft walk today, Callie and I were working so much better together, and I didn’t freak out or nothing, which is good. I know I’m pretty difficult sometimes.
4/4 – Walking Observations / Project Hail Mary / Astrochicken
Well, I really needed all the rest and re-coup yesterday. I really did. I also got some decent rest last night as well. Turns out (not a surprise) that when I have to get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, if I don’t bring my phone, I go back to sleep much more easily. Wow. Shocker. Who would have known! (Goodness Joe…). I guess it’s easy to get distracted by these phones constantly. They’re always distracting us. What I really need to do today is get up in the braces in the morning! When I’m most fresh!
When I was up in the braces last night, I realized, and had Callie confirm, my left shoulder seems to be doing different things from my right? For some reason? As in, my left shoulder lifts during the swing phase on my left leg, and I don’t know if it “plants” and stays secured during swing phase on my right? I was just noticing how much more tired my left arm and shoulder feels after a walking stretch? But it was also weird, Callie mentioned that I had better swing thru’s when my left shoulder lifted?
I guess I’m wondering how I can potentially balance out my super tight lower left abdominal area / left hip flexor region, get better stance on my left leg, and better swing thru on my right leg? Is all this related? Should I watch some videos of folks walking to see if that helps me improve?
Did a great walk! Noticed some significant changes! After I got done from my midday rest!
So turns out, I had noticed that when I was walking up in the braces, that if I keep my upper body moving forward over my left leg, not to the side, but more forward, I was able to swing my right leg thru so much more easily than before! And I was able to pick up speed! I did 270-300ft(ish) in pretty much a half an hour! I was happy about that! But I had noticed that I wasn’t quite keeping my body moving while in stance on left, and swing on right, and when I made that simple adjustment, my right leg was swinging through so much better!
I was able to lay down for a rest after the walk, and while laying supine, my body was calm! Which was great! I dozed off into a good nap from there.
When I woke up though, my lower body was making some violent “kicks” down low low low in my abdominal region?! It was crazy because I was feeling new sensations I hadn’t felt before, and I really knew my body was waking some new parts up! This was pretty remarkable!
We ended up going to watch Project Hail Mary, a movie based off the book by Andy Wier! Turns out this story was very much different than Astronaut on Earth! Which I think is great! More ideas for me to work with in the future! Stay tuned!
While watching the movie though, I had some fascinating thoughts! I was in a recliner and my legs were getting stretched out simultaneously, which I was very happy about as well! Had a great afternoon with my Cal.
One of the thoughts I had during the film, was what our legs and body is doing on the verge of consciousness and control. I’m realizing this is way more intrinsic to our bodies way of movement, and I need to do some research into this. My legs during the movie when I would stop paying attention to them would do some interesting things! Sometimes they would jump, sometimes they were calm. And it all ties back into our breath. Our autonomic nervous system is doing some pretty remarkable things when we aren’t noticing, and I’m starting to pick up on this….. stay tuned, more research is needed here….
Another thought was, I mean, that’s a huge part of what we all are, working together for a common goal. The idea of working together on a mission to outer space is one of the greatest achievements I can think of for our generation! I was thinking about how we are in a bit of a dry spell these past few years, short of the Artemis II FlyBy and 6 Mars missions (well these were no small feat!…) for a great mission into space!
It’s interesting because so much can be achieved by us humans, when we work together for a common goal. I guess I don’t know what I’m getting at, but I know how capable we all truly are, especially working together.
Another interesting thought, are expanding off the ideas of Freeman Dyson’s Astrochicken, which, could be such a great application in today’s climate with our current technologies! “In his book Disturbing the Universe (1979), Dyson contemplated how humanity could build a small, self-replicating automaton that could explore space more efficiently than a crewed craft could. He attributed the general idea to John von Neumann, based on a lecture von Neumann gave in 1948 titled The General and Logical Theory of Automata. Dyson expanded on von Neumann’s automata theories and added a biological component to them.” [4]
I do think though, that it would be a lot more productive of a use for Ai and Drones, for space exploration though? Why aren’t we creating light, fast, and non-human operated devices to explore areas that are not safe for humans first? Freeman Dyson talked about this, which I think NASA and ESA could really be focusing more on! I have some research to do in this area, because it’s such a great intersection of ideas!
Busy day, got on the floor to stretch out, my body desperately needed this time because some wild changes are happening, and today really seemed to be quite the integration day! Time for some rest.
Works Cited
- The Future Of The Mind
- https://news.stanford.edu/stories/2025/08/surprising-fact-human-brain-artificial-synapses-research#:~:text=FACT:%20In%20the%20information%20network,already%20learned%2C%20depends%20on%20synapses.
- https://science.nasa.gov/mission/mars-exploration-rovers-spirit-and-opportunity/#:~:text=NASA’s%20Mars%20Exploration%20Rovers%20(MER)%20Spirit%20and,that%20water%20was%20long%20standing%20on%20Mars
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Astrochicken
The Astronaut on Earth 
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