1/25/26 – Pops and Creaks
The feeling of my left leg getting extended, is honestly shocking, abrupt, and jarring? Left shoulder crunches are slowing down, and with that too, engagement down my entire posterior chain! I actively was trying to engage everything below my level of injury right now, as I’m laying supine, and honestly, I feel “pops” and “creaks” and “cracks” just about at every joint! In my hips, SI, knees, and ankles! Not quite my toes yet tho!
I’m noticing too, how the active squeeze I have to maintain, is becoming more and more subconscious! I am not sure how long I lay here in bed and do this before I wake, but it feels like a significant period of time!
Breathing low, breathing into my lower left side, my legs, knees, ankles, has made some interesting observations! I’ve noticed my left hip area slowly extending out more, bit by bit! I can feel something in my left abdominal area “letting go” or so it seems!? Slowly, with each breath, I inhale more in the left abdominal area, hold it, while still squeezing that areas muscles to not spasm, and when I exhale, I can feel a small and subtle “pop” or letting go? It doesn’t happen with each breath, but that area feels so different! I also have to be careful not to take too deep of an inhale, otherwise my hip flexors can spasm and I have to start all over again with the activation and extension.
I can feel the sudden jolt, the “pop”, in my left hip area? If I time it with a well timed breath, I also kinda have to squeeze more on my right side as well? To try to balance this out?
It’s so weird too, how too deep a breath in this area without me still holding the contraction will cause a spasm too? So odd?
I noticed too, my arms, and parts of my fingers, while laying supine will change temperature (my index will be cold when my others are warm?) and they sometimes go numb too? Is this just due to having enough muscle in my back to cushion my spinal cord? I’m thinking and feeling I need to get back to the gym for strength training specifically!
Got to the gym, hit the heavy bag, lifted (well – pulled on cables), got in the standing frame, all before noon! This was great! Awesome start to the day! Turns out it was wonderfully snowy out! The freshly set, unpacked snow on the sidewalk, and crisp air really brings me back! I honestly miss these cold mornings, and getting out and breathing that fresh crisp air has a bite that’s not comparable! I honestly love it!
Had a day, and need to get some rest. I’m noticing too, how extended my legs consistently are getting in bed! Also, trying my hand at the deep inhale – hold – and breathe into my lower left has really got me feeling so different! I can feel the fatigue from the day setting in, I really need some rest!
Thinking about it all, consolidating information, and working on the braces, all good things from the day. It’s been a lot, let’s keep the momentum going towards tomorrow!
1/26/26 – Lumbar Region
Okay now, how important is our lumbar spine and spinal flexion in the lumbar region for standing, initiating standing, and walking? I’m working on arching that area of my back, and I can’t initiate the stand just yet, but I can feel a lot of dormant muscles waking up?? What is this mechanism??
– Multifidus (deep stabilizer)
– Erector spinae (iliocostalis, longissimus)
So those two… I was cut up pretty good from T3-L5, for the fusion, so if they got cut, were dormant, and are now waking up, they are having a HARD time because of the fusion?? How can I try to help them loosen up and wake them up too simultaneously?
Wow, just woke up, and had a dream that I was in some peculiar parking structure, and instead of pushing up it in the wheelchair, I just got out of the chair, got behind it, and started to walk behind it and push myself up and out! That was amazing!
So I’m trying to expand what I’m working on in supine, and lumber extension has been the big new one! Born To Walk By James Earls, It’s been great, viewing the whole body as an interconnected unit! I’ve also been working on some lateral bending, but this has been HUGE! I started reading this new book, and he was talking early on about gait mechanics and the importance of the lumbar spine….. I hadn’t really heard of its importance like this in gait, so I wanted to expand my learning!
This book has been really interesting thus far! Fascia, and its interrelationship with the musculoskeletal system is the real reason I wanted to read this! More on that book to come! I really want to continue my journey to regaining function, and learning about the myofascial system is so interesting because it’s so misunderstood in the medical community!
But as I’m working the lumbar spine, my legs are stepping in place, getting in extension, I’m feeling my hips be recruited more than usual, quads louder and hamstrings quieter, gastroc’s lit up, and soles of my feet too! This is interesting! I know I’m really fused up, but I’m going to keep working this area and see how it goes? It’s also helping loosen up the lower left abdominal area too?! hence the lateral bending component too!
Man! My areas right under my ankles feel so much like my legs right now! I almost feel like I can almost feel the hair on my legs!? All from arching my lumbar spine?? I really need to work these deep spinal muscles! They have a lot of work to do with these rods in here!
So my legs are pooped! My body is pooped! I hate how long it takes for me to get ready to wake up and go to sleep at the end of the day. It’s tough. It’s hard to have to exist this way. Long day.
Honestly, I need to continue to find the ways my body can move. Slowly but surely, in new ways, as I once was.
The evenings are tough, it’s awful and weird how it gets my head spinning and racing. I’m in need of rest, and I need to make sure I set my mind up right, for sleeping. I need to make sure I keep that in mind.
1/27/26 – Language & Type 1, 2 , & 3 Civilizations
The amount of increase in hip, low back, glute activation from the bout in the Exo yesterday is insane! I can feel so much of that area coming back online!
It’s hard to get enough fluids during and after PT, but I need to make sure that’s one of my number one priorities after exercise, that and post workout stretching! I did that last night before I got in bed, regardless of how tired I was, and I think that really helped!
Let’s try to keep it all in mind today, keep your priorities aligned! How can I get in the Exo more throughout the week? How can I make it less of a hassle? Can I do it on my own? I guess the braces in between Exo work is a good start! Let’s get them workin!
Okay, so I noticed how shifted my pelvis is, and I really noticed this in the bathroom in the morning and in the shower chair. My right hip used to sink in the hole!
So! As I learn about Type 1, 2, & 3 civilizations in Hyperspace, I’m shocked at home far we are from type 1, and how fantastical this whole idea is. Michio Kaku talks about Futurologists, and how they’ve gotten the ideas of the future spectacularly wrong, as we progressed through this century. He makes the comment, about how much energy we currently use, vs all of recorded history and for how long humans have been around for, and it’s just absolutely bonkers. These values are staggering. To think how far we’ve come, and how far along we are, is just something to bend the mind.
I think about all of this, and how we’re all here, and really am so amazed at how Language helped shape and form all of this. Language, then written language, then languages used for other humans, and now computers, has increased our capacity to immense numbers. Who knows where we are going to use Language after computers? Where would it be used to expand from there?
It’s always weird thinking about these questions, so I need to slow down, write, and think. It’s been really fascinating, taking my time writing, to do just that. Think. It settles my mind and my body. It helps me create. As well, as act and do. Without Language, I always like to say, “where would we be?” Because I know it wouldn’t be here today. I know that I wouldn’t be here today, working on projects in my work and life,
- P
- P
- Handcycle
- Leg braces
- Exo
- B
- House Hunt
- Wheelchair mods
- Relationship
- Body (do I break out each area?) walking
- GI
- Bladder
- Sexual Functioning
- Chess
- Gym
- Daily Writing
- Books
- Continuous learning
So there’s a few things I’m working on. I guess it’s more than 6. And there’s only 24hrs in a day. So if you worked on all of these for 1hr, you’d have 6hrs to sleep! …. I am honestly not that far off….
Time to get moving!
Oh yeah I fell outta the chair just a bit ago, going backwards…. That had to be one of the most graceful falls ever.
Had time to work on my project this evening! Let’s keep going!
1/28/26
Another night, another rise and increase in sensation, activation, you name it! It was crazy how relaxed my legs got yesterday afternoon! Kinda wild there!
It’s so interesting, at the end of the day yesterday, I really feel like my whole back was coming back online! These compression tops are really helping with that! It’s honestly really amazing how it helps my scapula positioning and posterior chain activation! I wonder how it will go today!
I can feel now, as my shoulders are connected better to my trunk and pelvis, my pelvis waking up more, and more activation consistently is being produced down there as well!
I got the left KAFO modified yesterday! I’m gonna want to try that out and see how things are progressing! I really want to get to just moving with crutches and braces and slowly knock down brace support!
It’s honestly amazing, how much more fluid my core and torso is moving, lateral bending, rotation, you name it! As I’m getting more connected in my torso, it’s really waking muscles up downstream! My entire outer legs, and down into my calves are really lit up!
I really wonder how much more activation these compression tops can help with? I wonder how it is going to help translate more directly into walking? I guess I am feeling a huge surge in low back and pelvis activation, so hopefully it continues to help with that process!?
1/29/26 – Don’t Overthink It
So, what is it about our subconscious? About working our brain, without us thinking? Last night in the Exo, Callie and I were talking, and she brought up not thinking about it all too much. I also told her when I’m walking in the Exo, I can’t think about much except my abs, keeping them squeezed, and that’s about it? It’s so interesting, I know that all this supine work in the morning, and what my legs do at the night, is all so valuable for my recovery!
I’m just trying to build off that, and think about all the other movements too? I was in the car yesterday driving home from work, and I noticed I could send the signals down to my pelvis and legs, to “tense” up, instead of my back and shoulders? I wonder what that is about?
I was able to walk so much more effortlessly and fluidly last night in the Exo! The CBD and compression gear really helped! It’s insane how small tweaks can make such improvements!
I will be honest tho, it was tough getting sleep. I tried to drink enough water, but I am wondering if it had to do with eating a sub, and the high amount of gluten/ carbs/ bread? My body I think has a hard time digesting that, versus just meat and veggies, so I think I need to experiment with the “unwich”? Might be worth doing?
My legs were EXTREMELY active all night, I can feel them pushing out soo so much, especially while in supine! I had awful GERD symptoms last night, but the water did help a bit. Except when I drank too much in one sitting?
I wonder how Pilates will go today!? It sure has been a cold one, these long, cold days sure do take it out of me!
It’s so wild, to think that the compression top, is able to keep my shoulders in the right position so much and so better throughout the day, that I think it really is becoming a subconscious process now?! It’s wild, I feel a “line” now between the bottom tips of my scapulas, and down to my hips! Like all this work is helping my back fill in and connect! It’s honestly amazing!
I have been working my shoulders thru all its crunchy range of motion throughout the day, during breaks. Rotation, depression/elevation, protraction/retraction! It’s insane how much better they feel in about 1-2wks of wearing compression consistently!
I better get up! My body is telling me something!
Wow! Pilates today! This was huge! My shoulder placement and trunk stability has improved what feels like leaps and bounds! The upper body work in the chair for chest expansion was so much better, my routine with the weights was massively Improved, and then on the Reformer!
“You’re not trying to just get from Point A to Point B, you need to work your way in between!” Therese was saying about the springs! which is so true, and I was feeling this so much! In chest expansion, she was having me work on small pulses, keeping the spring tension, and I was slowly and slowly getting more and more movement!
Then, when on the Reformer, I set my scap’s back, and was really pushing down with them, and what happened?! I was pushing out better than ever before, and returning better than usual! I was also able to hold it out part way, and then push out from a half held position! This was great! My legs and body are really connecting, and it’s really coming from proper shoulder mobility and trunk control! This is insane?!
1/30/26 – Visceral Manipulation
WOW! It feels like the “top” of my rear pelvis is fully online now?! I can feel my low abdomen engaged without me thinking about it, my hips are full, quads are squeezing for their life, hamstrings relaxed, I’m able to breathe calmly, and my legs are extended so much! I wish I had a way to measure them! Oh well little by little, they are getting there!
I really want to figure out some better ways for strengthening my quads? How can I do this better?
Also too, it was crazy, as I was helping coax myself back to sleep after a bathroom break in the middle of the night, I had some interesting mental visualizations! I imagined myself first from the top down, with my chest organizing all the way to my glutes and core. From there it’s almost like my quads kick in reflexively and I imagine them strong and straight, and my legs are soft, full, elongated in extension, heels and toes pressing down and out!
This scapula setting has really helped this entire posterior chain activation! They are feeling so good! I am so glad I’ve been working more and more movement in them, at the ends of ranges, and working thru the pops and cracks! It honestly feels like my hips are online close to 100%?! Soon!? Hopefully!!
I’m going to do the visceral manipulation today! I hope not only that she notices how improved that area is, but that I will get it further and further loosened up, and more and more back to normal!
I can REALLY feel a deep squeeze in my quads, I squeeze them more and more with each inhale and exhale, and I haven’t let go this entire time while in supine! This is such an interesting position, I’m working on micro movements of my pelvis and hips, slowly rocking my left and right side laterally and rotationally! Reminds me of some mini-hula hoop movements!? I need to keep messing with these! Therese talked about these as well!
Low abs are really engaging, I can feel how much deeper my breath is too, because of their engagement? Man oh man this low back activation has really helped turn this all up and kick a lot of this activation in motion! How can I progress from here?! More pelvis work? Adductor and abductor work like Therese said? Am I missing something else?
Glad to be in these compression shorts over the night too! I think they’re slightly too large for much compression, but I hope it’s good feedback for my body still! They hold firm for a large majority of the night, so I hope that helped with the low ab activation!
Joe, just be calm and steady. You’re doing it. You’re working on it. You have a gal who’s crazy about you. And you about her. Just keep working on your patience, and kindness. To yourself, and to others. It’s okay. You’re doing it.
Whoa, this session with Nina went GREAT! She is really helping my hips open up, my large and small intestine, diaphragm, all in my left and right hips! My left hip remained so much more calm during this session! It was only when she started to work on my right hip flexor, that my hips started to spasm a bit!
She gave me a good cue, to help me work on the asymmetry in my gait in the Exo! Really think about pushing into my right leg, and lengthening my spine, to get my left leg to swing thru more! I need to try this!
Also, she brought up a good point too, about my left hip complex being up so much higher. If my QL is tight, and pulling my left hip up out of alignment, I need that QL to relax, to soften, to allow my left hip to drop. She is right, I need to work on this!
She also thinks the new seat cushion is a good idea! I’m really exited to get that ordered and feel the difference!
Been a busy day of runaround, let’s get Callie some sushi! Great way to end a busy week!
1/31/26 – Defiance and Motivation
What is it about ‘Defiance’? About being told you ‘can’t’ do something? It’s interesting I was having a conversation with my brother last night, and in one afternoon/ evening, was able to free up a seized motor, brakes, track + running drive for an old 1978 TXL. Hats off bud! What’s funny too is I’m not sure our dad thought he could do it?! Well maybe as quickly as he did!?
That motivation, or something else, to keep going when others don’t believe in us, seems to be a powerful driving force?
This reminded me of Wednesday, walking in the Exo with Callie. To be honest, I was so frustrated that Callie wouldn’t talk to me or “cheer me on” for lack of better term. Instead of stopping, I made sure to keep moving as much as humanly possible, with this almost ‘anger’ of defiance in me. “I’m not gonna stop, even though I wanted to hear someone else’s voice” almost?
I know I’m weird, when it comes to social and external validation. It’s not that I need the validation, but maybe it’s more so I just like to talk? And maybe that’s what was frustrating me, was that I couldn’t talk, while walking?
I never spoke at all when I went for runs, bike rides, or almost anything with Max… it was a silent and peaceful time. Lots of thoughts in my head, but I really wasn’t audible? What is it about walking in the Exo with someone else that I needed to hear a voice?
I guess, maybe that’s it? Doing things together, in the company of others? Maybe I have something internally wired to converse when I’m in the presence of others? Huh?
Maybe?
Trying to determine how to make Exo walks with Cal a bit more engaging and fun! Just walking in the dimly lit, damp, and dreary concrete walls of a parking structure isn’t exactly “thrilling”. So we tried “I Spy” and honestly that helped! I wonder what else we could try?
My legs – wait – my body – is feeling MUCH more like a cohesive unit this morning! I am feeling so much activation throughout my lower extremities, hips, abdomen, glutes, low back, chest, shoulders, literally from Tip to Toe! I was doing some Box Breathing here in my morning Supine routine, and I noticed something interesting!
I was able to inhale for 4 – hold for 4 – exhale for 4-8 – then hold for 8-12. This sequence was getting my legs to extend more during the slow exhale and long hold after! This was amazing! I don’t know exactly if I’m activating my parasympathetic nervous system more during this part of the cycle, which allows my hamstrings and hip flexors to relax, or what! But during almost every breath, I hear a deep, almost “woods-like”, creak. A slow push from my heel. I am trying to feel it, and I can a bit in my upper legs, but not quite in my heels.
I can feel my muscles in my lower pelvic region holding stable during this movement, low abs, abductors, low back! It was so interesting! Slowly but surely!
I have a busy day today, exercise, grants, project, calls, then sometime later for friends! Let’s make sure I stay hydrated!
Personal ‘Agency’, eh?
Clasp, inverted clasp, flicker, and squeeze? Where did all these terms come from? Are these all the different types of muscle contractions? Are there more types? Should I be practicing this for all my muscles?
• Wrap
• Draw up
• Anchor
• Press down
• Spiral
• Float
• Lengthen while active
• Melt
• Pulse
• Expand
Some fun verbal cues for the muscles to add to the arsenal!
Had a great evening with some friends! Need to get some rest after this! Don’t get to do this very much! It’s great getting different perspectives, sure was great!
The Astronaut on Earth 
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