1/18/26 – Death Day
Another awful day…
I sat on the toilet when Callie left to go to target, this was absolutely miserable. My gut is destroyed. I need to clean up and get some rest. I can’t actually get to the chair right now or move away from this spot. Let’s make sure you’re weight shifting and standing to try to keep my body moving! Ugh. This is completely miserable.
Okay I think I’m feeling better, I had a little to eat, let’s try to get some rest now.
This has got to be the worst time yet…… this is awful.. I’m not even going to talk about this one….
This was so bad….
Have you had to sit in the shower for over an hour because there wasn’t another place for you to go? It was intense and I was running on fumes, so I switched back and forth from cold to hot water, and practiced meditating, box breathing, and trying to keep myself under control and not fainting.
1/19/26 – Trip to the ER
I tried using a compression top today too
It helped my posture and movement.
I will continue using it only as long as it helps, it’s honestly really wild! It’s really helping me connect with my trunk, torso, core, and shoulders! No more scapular winging hopefully!
I think it’s interesting, I finally am getting my body back under control, after a very uncontrollable weekend of stomach flu/ virus, and I notice some major changes! My shoulder positioning, when I keep them tucked down and back, is really helping posterior chain engagement! My legs and hips are getting into so much extension, and I’m feeling my entire trunk/ torso activating in ways I’ve never felt before!
I’m… really… not happy…. Turns out my body has been exceptional at making my physical state bleed in to my emotional state. When this happens, and when it happens a lot, I feel like I melt. I succumb to it more and more….
Made an emergency trip to the ER today. Ugh.
1/20/26 – Back in The Groove
What other movement practitioners are there like Joseph Pilates who focus on a torso/trunk centered philosophy? After a couple of very difficult days, I feel finally back to myself a bit, and I’m laying in supine on my back, and noticing so much activation starting from my core, and traveling down my legs! But it always starts with me bracing and supporting my core, low back, abdomen, and pelvis.
It’s really interesting too, because I feel this exceptional “squeeze” in my feet, and a really good “hold” in the rest of my legs? I could really feel my legs kicking out straight more and more, and to be honest, it also was a bit jarring, feeling my left leg and hip kick out straighter and straighter? I need to build that trust back in my legs.
Last night in the standing frame I could feel some “crunchy” muscles in my left shoulder, when I was protracting and retracting, and then when I was doing some modified half stand lean backs, I could feel the QL / paraspinals on my left side really feel crunchy? I was noticing how my left hip in the reflection in the late night reflection, the strap was “sinking” more on my left, and that coincided with my left leg slipping back, and my body falling out of whack? So I would go down, readjust, and I would feel better, until it slipped out again? For some reason? I need to get to the bottom of this?
Also, what type of writing is it that Shackleton, HMS Beagle by Charles Darwin, was? What is this type called?
I think this “crunchy” feeling is something waking up or not activating properly, so I’m going to mess around with that today! I was really trying to expand my chest in the standing frame while reading last night, and it felt really good to get my body more open!
I think this is good for now, let’s get up, get hydrated, and try to do a little work. It’s about to be frigid this week, the temp already is -1F out, and that’s not the most fun these days in the wheelchair.
Movement Practitioners
• Primary idea: Head–neck–torso organization governs the entire body
• Emphasis on inhibition before movement (don’t over-effort; allow coordination)
• Movement emerges from pelvis, spine, and breath
• Supine work is foundational
• Explicit focus on core-distal connectivity
• Her supine pelvic and breath work is critical
• “Crunchy” sensations are often dormant pathways rehydrating
• Structural lens: if the torso isn’t stacked, the limbs compensate
• Left-side sinking + strap asymmetry = classic fascial imbalance showing itself
• Mental imagery + anatomy = movement change
1/21/26 – Mental Patterns / Bridging Ideas
To contract and relax. It’s interesting because I’m noticing a shift in this pattern? How I need to “squeeze” and also “push” instead of just relaxing? I feel myself squeezing with my quads, and pushing with my hamstrings? It’s also what I feel in my arms, when I extend at the elbow, pushing with my bicep, and squeezing with my tricep? It’s so weird, our bodies. Trying to get them to do what we need and want them to do. I know my body is really working! Just slowly.
I’m really trying to apply to some grants for a handcycle! I want to get my cardio in top notch shape! I think this would be the perfect tool for this! I really have a good feeling about trying to use a handcycle, for group rides, and who knows! Maybe even a race! I just need to be consistent with it! Just like everything else I need to do… so much!
I can feel the creaks and the pops in my left hip while my legs extend out. I really like the rotational work I did in the standing frame yesterday too! I felt so good and loosened up! Yet still active! A lot of muscles waking up, and imbalances settling out too!
I had to take my compression top off part way thru the day, it was almost making things a bit distracting? Like I was getting too much input and feedback to my body? Or my body isn’t ready for that much stimulation yet? It’s gotta be one of the two?
Trying to juggle all the outside work I have to do, plus work, is interesting. I have braces to modify, standing frame time, Exo work to do, Grants and handcycle applications, Heavy Bag work, floor work, supine work, Pelvic Floor work, Pilates, PT, OT, rest, recovery, finding a house, being a good partner, outside project, you name it! I guess this weekend really felt like it set me back, with being sick and all. I think I need some reframing to do…
If I think about it, I just need to slowly chip away, and ramp back up the work! Nothing too crazy or aggressive. I just need to focus in on some of the big ticket items! Movement, so Exo work today. Standing frame, work, and maybe fill out some grants! Work on your presentation?
Taking time last night to get out of my own headspace and be in the presence of friends was really nice. I don’t get to do that all too much these days. Keeping in mind it’s not all about us is always important. Just slowly chipping away at it!
My legs are relaxed, straight, extended! I can feel my low back and glutes awake, my hips open (but tight), quads awake, lower legs and feet awake, and legs not spasming! I really like all the chest expansion and shoulder work I’m doing, all the cuing from the compression tops is really helping!
Let’s see how today goes! Another one for lots of activities, it’s now trying to manage it all so I don’t get completely exhausted before the end of day!
Let’s be grateful you aren’t sick and things are looking up!
• 1 primary movement anchor
• 1 support activity
• 1 life task
Muscles only pull at the fiber level,
but the nervous system creates pushing, squeezing, bracing, and projecting forces through coordinated tension.
I need to look in my kinesiology textbook to find out where they talk about joint and force factors. Also, is there any studies about what mental stimuli better activates joint extension? I wonder if there is? And I wonder if that could help me at all?
Is that all the theoretical physicists are doing? Are they just writing equations from nothing? Maybe not so much nothing, but they’re just writing equations that tie in with already the previous ones that have already been discovered and used? Like, if it takes physicists, the idea of branching together Somewhat unrelated fields, like Stephen Hawking bridging together the quantum world with the quantum particle world, is this not the same thing as bridging together other disciplines, and areas of research for all academia? Like, if you end up doing research in one area, trying to just bridge connection to another, should yield you interesting results? So I wonder how different you would want something to be to learn about that could help you then draw a conclusion in the area or field that you’re interested in?
Cognition emerges from hidden neurological mechanisms, interesting idea I heard about from Hyperspace!
1/22/26 – Merging Fields of Research / Anthropic Principle
It’s wild how strong these boys are getting!
I almost think this could work, I just wonder how crazy the idea is that you generate from different fields of research?Like, does a fork have anything to do with a sign? These were two random things that I saw and I’m sure that there is. I just wanted to think about it.
Anthropic Principle, honestly, is a really cool and interesting way to look at the universe! It’s interesting, to think that if we weren’t able to actually observe the universe and exist in it, in our current form, if it were different, we might not be here at all! Ideas like this really make you wonder!
1/23/26 – Micromovements and Reciprocal Motion in Standing Frame
Oh my goodness! The amount of increase in strength and proprioception while in extended supine sure is on the rise! This is so cool! It’s crazy too, how I was able to fall back asleep while in supine! My legs and body are beginning to get used to, and like this position, all extended more and more! Definitely happy about that!
I’m going to run with some of the new compression tops today, I really like the scapular engagement they give me! Also my left shoulder in the end range of motion, has some crunchy areas I’m trying to work out! I can definitely feel when I push it to the limit in retraction, and depression, how I can squeeze my left glute more and more!
I was playing with some trunk rotations and movements too! Keeping my core and back centered, while moving my torso and spine in different orientations! I can feel the strength coming back and muscles waking up! This is so encouraging!
Let’s see if I can get applied to some grants for a handcycle today!
Got up in the standing frame at the end of the day, and worked on some of the reciprocal movement, and “moving in place” or that’s what i called it! I’m finding this small, repetitive movement, is really helping things wake up! This is great!
I’m…. Kinda shocked…. This is wild, my lower body and legs are more woken up than ever before! I’m doing so much ‘moving in place!’ This is unreal! I’m not gonna lie, this compression top is insane! My body has livened up so much in such a short period of time throughout the day, this has got to be unreal! How is this even possible right now!?
I’m really feeling so much engagement, and my spine seems to be moving so much more than usual! It’s kinda unreal!
To be honest. It’s almost gotten more comfortable as the day has gone on, shoulders and body activated more, and it has helped so much in the standing frame! It’s been so cool! I can’t believe it!
Like, I just got out of the Standing frame, legs aren’t sweaty, I’m loose, ready to go, and don’t usually feel this good coming out of the standing frame! This has been an unreal day!
Like, my sides, under arms, chest, and entire lat is waking up so much because of this! It’s incredible! I took it off and they are livening up!! Upper traps are simmering and quiet, this is great!
These entire legs are waking up! I can feel the asymmetries in my torso evening out, my right area under the lobectomy coming online, my core and low core activating and engaged, my upper quads coming more fully online, it’s great! My back is tired! I’m glad to be laying down!
It’s all coming together! This is great!
I also got to apply to 4-6 Grant applications for the Handcycle! This took a WHILE! But I’m glad I got to spend some time today on that, I really hope I can get these submitted and get in a Handcycle this summer!
1/24/26 – Cross Disciplinary Works / Finding Connections
So, I’m glad to have gotten a good nights rest! My body is extended as ever, sensations full, and activated, and my body is eager for more! I’m feeling my shoulders connect better to my pelvis, and all this trunk led movement has really got my body kicking it in gear!
I looked up some of the “OG” neuroscientists last night, Sir Charles Scott Sherrington (27 November 1857 – 4 March 1952) was a British neurophysiologist. [7] His experimental research established many aspects of contemporary neuroscience, including the concept of the spinal reflex as a system involving connected neurons (the “neuron doctrine“), and the ways in which signal transmission between neurons can be potentiated or depotentiated. [7] This Neurophysiologist seems to be one of the first ones ever! It’s so fascinating too, because I was reading about him, and he was EXTREMELY multi-disciplinary! So far as he wrote an excellent book of Poetry as well! Generally speaking, I find it so fascinating, these early pioneers and folks who founded so many core concepts in science! They were working on everything!
Also, Nikolai Aleksandrovich Bernstein (Russian: Никола́й Алекса́ндрович Бернште́йн; 5 November 1896 – 16 January 1966) was a Soviet neurophysiologist who has pioneered motion-tracking devices and formal processing of information obtained from the use of these devices.[8] This Russian researcher too! He was also extremely fascinating, because he had another set of ideas not exactly tied to Kinesiology, “He was also one of first psychologists to suggest that behaviour is generative, constructive and not reactive.” [8]. Which is wild to me!
All of these great researchers and scientists, are pulling together information from various fields, and BECAUSE they are learning such cross-disciplinary works, it seems to allow them to find connections, others did not conceive or think possible before? This idea, I honestly love, and want to continue to expand on! I’ve also found great joy in learning various and diverse fields of study right now, related to: quantum physics, neurology, physiology, kinesiology, engineering mechanics, writing, language, philosophy, movement practitioners, and also too, poetry! It just seems to me to be a good way for my brain to work? It’s not even the mindset of “master of none” so much as it is related to the idea of learning, for the sake of learning?
My body seems to have responded well to this, and I want to keep it going, to one day also help and inspire others to do the same!
I had an interesting week, and I can feel momentum building back up under me! My body is strong, mind is sharp, and although it’s -10F outside, I know it will be a good day to continue to expand this!
Laying supine now has become a time of consolidation, for my mind and body! My body is learning safety in extension, and my mind is able to explore new ideas and concepts, usually too unrelated to what my body is feeling or working on. The “squeeze and push” mindset shift has been helping my body so much, and I’ll have to continue to expand on this idea to help eke out more activation! I wonder what I will find today?
Crunchy shoulders, getting looser and easier to move, has helped my hips and legs Soo much! It’s all affected by one another, so working my whole body has been the best way for me to look at my recovery! It’s not a single piece, but a whole unit! I’ve been doing a lot of mobility exercises for my shoulders and trunk, and I can feel it paying off in how much looser and responsive my body is becoming!
Books of Interest
- Dexterity & Its Development – Nicholai Bernstein
- The Integrative Action of The Nervous System – Charles Scott Sherrington
“Things worth stealing from what I read”
Let’s get the standing frame re-ordered to actually READ the books you keep getting! Callie is right! You gotta read em!
Dang!! That was sweet! I was able to get dressed in the chair without my brakes on, I. Less time! All with the theme of “moving in place” and honestly, that went a lot better than I thought!
Robert Hooke – ANOTHER very interesting person too, that I’m going to have to do some research into!
So had a busy day working on my project! Got up in the standing frame afterwards, stretched out and read, and then got some Culver’s with Cal on this frigid day! Trying to help Callie feel better, and working on the rest! Glad I got to the gym, hit the Heavy Bag in the morning, and then got in the standing frame afterwards! I set myself up for a good day!
One day at a time, I’ll have to keep building on days like this!
Works Cited
- https://positivepsychology.com/writing-therapy/
- https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c5y9z0g7lleo.amp
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_W._Pennebaker
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reflex
- https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3366057/
- https://blog.nasm.org/postural-and-phasic-muscles
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Scott_Sherrington
- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikolai_Bernstein
The Astronaut on Earth 
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