1/4/26 – Little Expansions / Glute Bridges
I’m feeling so much sensation traveling both ascending and descending through my legs this morning! It’s really interesting, feeling and trying to interpret this “flow path” if you will, in both directions, simultaneously? A push and a pull, from different places, and all trying to achieve the common goal of keeping me upright. It’s interesting, trying to use any and all mental imagery while I lay in bed and at night to help my body like this! It really helps them feel more and more full each day!
Today will be a good day to get everything together before I need to head back to work. It’s been busy! I have so much to do each day, and it’s hardly a vacation in the sense that I get to lounge and sit back and relax! Always so much to do!
I’m really enjoying how allowing my body to feel, expanding my gratitude, and feeling out motion, just small little expansions, have been helping and allowing my body to expand and feel so much more full and alive.
The joint loads, my breath, the blood flow, my awareness in my legs, there’s really so much going on in my legs, and there is so much I can use to help me build out a better and better mental model for what my legs truly are, so I can continue to progress and utilize my legs better everyday!
I’m going to have to expand on glute bridges exercises from yesterday! Getting on the floor is always great for helping me open up my body! I was just trying to feel out more and more positions! It helped my tightness so much! Especially in my lower left abdominal area!
So I’m laying supine on my back right now. The asymmetry between my left and right side is something I want to help out and work through?
Areas of research:
- muscle spindles / stretch receptors
- Golgi tendon Organ (GTO’s)
- Joint & fascia mechanoreceptors
- Tonic acceptance
- After CNS injury:
• The brain often defaults to threat-based stiffness
• Even when strength exists, permission doesn’t
What you’re doing now:
• Re-educating load tolerance
• Teaching the nervous system that weight ≠ danger
• Rebuilding trust in the pelvis–leg–ground loop
- This is exactly how early developmental standing works, too.
- (All needs research)
- After CNS injury, recovery of standing is less about muscle strength and more about restoring the nervous system’s confidence in load-bearing sensory loops — the same way standing first seems to emerges in infancy?
So it seems like I had another full day. Wrote a lot, cleaned a lot, organized, ordered, drew, CAD’d, shoot you name it. It was a good full day. I was up in the standing frame for around 2-3hrs? Maybe? I lost track for a bit up there while I was writing. Ends up, as I
Down sitting, my feet in the floor are being extremely engaged! They are reacting quite well to keeping me up! They are really trying! Any type of external stimulation seems to get them going, so when I am seated, I can feel my hamstrings getting a bit tight?
Anyways, interesting balance today! These legs are showing up more and more!
Okay, I’m pleasantly surprised at how extended my legs are! As I’m laying supine, my legs are staying much more relaxed, extended, and cooperative and full! This is great! Okay now time for rest!
1/5/26 – Supine Time
Lying on your back. Sleeping on your back. Is this more important than I realize? Does this help integrate upright and extended positioning in your knees and hips? Is this why they say it’s important for infants to sleep on their backs? Because I’m noticing, my legs are straighter than ever, activated more than ever, they are stepping in place, and feel so much more full! And this seems to be completely attributable to me attempting to spend time on my back?
It’s so interesting, I can feel my core/ obliques/ transverse abdominis, QL’s, entire girdle cage below my ribs activate. I then think about engaging my pelvic floor, then the cascade effect trickles down to my glutes and quads, and gastroc’s! My legs feel so alive and activated! All while laying supine? What is this?
I know I’ve been working on being in this position more and more, and it seems like if we don’t hit the developmental milestones like an infant does, it is very hard for us to progress past that particular stage? As in, if I can’t master being in supine, how can I progress to more advanced positions?
I’m spending some time this morning on my back, integrating this position before I get up. My legs are calm, but active. I can feel them engaged! But I’m also able to work on my notes here while I write? It’s gotta be a good sign?!
I did some box breathing, while in this position. While maintaining an engaged core! it was a lot better than trying to do this on my right side? Interestingly enough? I will have to continue this progression!
I wonder too, what the influence of attraction, self love, and body image too, has on this entire process? Instead of hating my body, what if I picture my body as someone, something, that I love and want to be? Would that help?
I’m trying to be more compassionate to myself. It’s just as hard as the rehab. But I keep trying. Little by little, I think it all helps? Keep trying movements in all the positions, and I just might surprise myself with what I do?
It’s cool too, tipping my head back, while my eyes are closed, and imagining me upright. I’m trying to do that more and more while in supine, with my lower body all fired up and engaged. It seems to be helping! I wouldn’t have so much tonic activation for the rest of the day in the chair if it wasn’t! I can hear my heels “creak” and move out away from me in the bed sheets!
Let’s see how today goes! Lots to report to PTs today!
1/6/26 – Daily Grind
You know I did it again this morning! I woke up, rolled onto my back, and started to work on getting my legs in extension! It’s interesting because I can feel the mix of signals I need to send, inhibitory for the hamstrings and hips, exictatory for the glutes and quads. It’s wild because I’ve never been able to lay so calmly on my back since the accident! That’s over 2 years of never being able to lay on your back, crazy right?
So I know my hamstrings and gastroc’s are tight, always working to keep me in the chair, but this is an awesome opportunity to help not only envision my legs lying flat, extended, strong yet relaxed, but to actually do it physically too! My legs are working better together, with their muscles, and inside them! I can feel the fullness increasing, activation at the ready, and my legs feeling more and more on stand by! So I need to make sure I’m also working in the Phasic work, and I know this is helping the tonic muscle activation as well!
I can feel the imbalance from the left to right hip, and it’s interesting when I make a slight adjustment in my low back, how my legs respond, kicking out more, bit by bit!
I’ll have to get up and see how they do today! Everything is coming more and more online and at the ready! Here we go!
Lots of popping, creaking, and cracking in my left hip as it opens up!
I can feel my right obliques and right low back / QL needing and having more recruitment to pull my left hip back into alignment!?!
So what’s interesting too, is how my sacral region has been feeling? I can feel an almost tightness to it? And when I got up standing yesterday at PT, I could feel it wanting to squeeze more, but it couldn’t?
What’s interesting, is seemingly only having so much time in the day? There’s so much to do, and only so much time. It’s tricky to manage sometimes!
Getting in and out of the car, I’ve been doing something different! I’ve been working on kicking my legs out (a little help from the hands) and out onto the ground, and keeping my head up, and pivoting into the chair! I’m not sinking, dropping, or using the slide board anymore! It’s honestly really kinda cool!
At work today I got up in the standing frame twice! Probably 1 1/2hrs each, and my legs each time were so awake! So full! They were still ready to go after I got myself out! This is great! I can really feel my lower right back/QL really engaging more and more!
Shoot! I had to download new software and clear an error in the Exo! I’m glad I got this figured out!
I’m trying to be more caring and accepting of myself these days too, I have found that helps!
1/7/26 – Pelvic Floor / Intra-abdominal Pressure / Exo Work
Back at it once I wake up! I spent more time on my back this morning! I even fell back asleep and rested! What’s really interesting is how engaging my abs are getting right now? I can inhale silently, but when I go to exhale, it’s literally almost like I “forgot”?
I don’t know if it’s because I don’t have to actually try to exhale, I can’t feel it very well, or what, but my body feels so interesting during this part of the breath! My legs right now feel extremely engaged, active, and full too! The more I squeeze my abs, the more my legs turn online! The spasms decrease, and everything feels more settled! I can feel all around my abdomen engaging, outer hips, inner thighs, quads, you name it!
Now, if I wanted to keep my abs engaged like this, and try to get up? Could I do it? Can I keep them engaged like this all day? What’s going on with the exhale?! I just tried to pull my pelvic floor up while on the exhale, and that really lights things up in my legs and core! Is that the trick!? I can feel it very deep inside me, pulling up, and it’s wild too because I can feel how extended my legs still feel! My low back is coming more and more online, this is crazy!
How much intra-abdominal pressure do you need to be able to stand? I was messing around during a meeting today, pressing my feet into the ground and working on pulling my pelvis up and I was really just noticing how tied together pulling my pelvis up & pushing my legs out is?
Made it on the floor! Had a great session stretching out and opening my hips!
Made it in the Exo at home for the first time! It went pretty alright for such a new setting to be walking in!
Stretched out too after the Exo! This was great!
Did pelvic floor work to wrap up the day!
1/8/26 – Morning Body Scan Check-Ins / “If I’m doing something new, it’s gonna be hard.”
Man oh man, this feels GREAT being on my back, legs extended, and core is slowly filling in! My TA and obliques, low back, QL’s, area around my sacrum, glutes, med & max, hip flexors relaxing, quads engaged, IT band lit up, hamstrings softening, knees with a huge amount of proprioception, gastroc’s lighting up as well! Even my feet, are going in and out of a cool sensation, and I can feel it changing, I’m trying to focus in when I feel the “cool” vs the tingle!
Slowly working on my breath, noticing my left hip complex relaxing! Sweating is slow, spasms are milder, heels are pressing out! These early morning body scan check-ins have been great!
I was thinking after I get the KAFO’s modified and updated, trying to alternate in their use with the crutches and Exo? So on alternate days, use the Exo, and then get up in the KAFO’s? Just do an hour or so each day?! I was thinking too, I really could get around quite a bit in the KAFO’s + crutches, so much so I could wear them for a large portion of the day? It feels like I’m slowly building out a way to get out of the wheelchair, but slowly decreasing the amount of time I spend in it? Because if I can get up, stand and walk, and sit back down, in the KAFO + crutch combo, who’s to say I have to use the wheelchair everyday or for all day?
I can feel my abs really gaining more control, and passive tonic action, so I’m hoping I can continue this! If I can self support in the KAFO + crutch combo, I might have found a really good additional rehab tool?!
Just need to keep working on what I’m working on! It’s slow but sure! I had a rough morning yesterday because of so much tingling and unpleasant feelings in my legs, that it set me off for a rougher start to the day. I need to remember “If I’m doing something new, it’s gonna be hard.” I kept repeating that to myself and Callie last night up in the Exo. I can’t get down like that, I just need to stay focused.
This is cool, my legs are calm, engaged, extended here in supine! Let’s just slowly work this into more positions throughout the day, and get me up on my feet more and more!
I’m like, exhausted. It’s insane. Pilates went really well today, and I’m shook with how tired I am. We started out and Therese and I were talking about the saying I said yesterday, “If I’m doing something new, it’s gonna be hard.” She goes, “well, honestly Joe, I could show you a million exercises I cannot do! Wait till you get to be my age, you’re describing everything!” And I stopped, and let that all sink in.. She went on to say too, “it’s all about how you frame it up in your head. You get the OPPORTUNITY to do new movements, not simply say it’s gonna be hard!” And honestly, she’s right. It’s crazy, because she’s so right on this one. It’s so hard in these moments to realize this, but by goodness, she really is.
We did some really interesting exercises, where I was stablizing through my feet and pushing my arms out better than I have, ever!! this was truly incredible!
I’m just cooked though, I do not know exactly what it is about Pilates that wiped me out like this! Therese did say it’s from the inside out, and maybe that’s it, because my insides are pooped!
I did wear a compression top and compression pants too? Had decent mental visuals of me upright that were stimulating too? Maybe this contributed?
The workouts went really well, and my legs are feeling EXTREMELY full! It’s honestly amazing!
My chest is sore from being activated, my back and shoulders too! My core, legs, everything is cooked!
1/9/26 – Visceral Manipulation
So this is wild! Goodness I needed that 10-11hrs of sleep last night! I’m laying here, supine, and I noticed so many muscle changes, and positional tricks while laying here! First off I really need to continue working on my low abdomen, pelvic floor. I can feel immediately the change when I let up on that area, and how my legs will stop being in extension! Also too, the entire outer hip area, down into my upper legs is waking like crazy too! my core is really filling in! My knees! Goodness, they are starting to change! Last night they almost felt “sore” and this morning I can feel either the muscles or tendons over them, working to keep my legs in extension. My thighs are filling out, and also, I can feel my hips really “press” thru my feet and get into extension! I’m focusing more and more on what I’m feeling in my feet. I’d really like to continue the proprioception gains down there as well!
This lower left abdomen and entire left side yesterday was soo tight, and really needed the rest. I have had an extremely full week, and getting in and out of the car 8-10 times in a day with no slide board on top of all my exercising and Exo work, is enough to really wipe ya out!
This lower left side, like I was saying, is getting looser, but I have Visceral Manipulation today, and I’m excited to continue this in that area as well! I’m glad I can actually lay on my back!
I better get moving since I have an early appt. Lots to do on this Friday! Slowly but surely I’m opening this body up, filling it out, feeling the extension, the fullness increase, the muscles contracting when I need them to, you name it. It’s one day at a time.
Turns out, I’m just tired today. It’s been a long week! I did the visceral manipulation today this morning too, and it went really well! I’m glad to have gotten another session! My legs were so much more relaxed, and I’m glad to see how much I’m loosening up! I need to work on my side bending, and prone work now, to continue this progression!
Honestly this year is gonna be a good one, I can feel it! I really want to continue progressing with the Exo, and get my KAFO’s resized, and try to get that going too!? Lots going on this year!
I had this thought…. “I wonder if my left hip flexor is so much more “reactive” and strong, because I’m left footed? That left hip really did get put through a ton of work in all those years playing soccer? I’m curious if that has anything to do with it? Interesting thought?
I wonder, for neural networks for when they are forming, when we are born, newborn, infants, I was just thinking about the fact that it all really does have to come from our brain. As in the signal had to start from somewhere, physically and also “mentally”? So all the thoughts I am generating, the visuals and mental rehearsals of me standing and walking, are also all originating up in my brain? I guess, I’m just wondering about the development process of neural networks, and how they form?
Is spasticity just that? An electrical signal problem? Also do you need the muscles above to help complete the electrical signal? Without activation higher towards your body (brain) you can’t get signals down to lower areas?
1/10/26
I’m up early and boy are my legs extremely charged up! My hips, glutes, outer thighs, quads, knees, gastroc’s are are lit up a step above yesterday! This is wild, because my outer legs are radiating the most amount of new sensation! As our my entire hip, low back, and like, the top middle of my glutes?
As I’ve gotten in supine here, I can feel the coordination between my pelvic floor, and keeping my hips extended, extremely well. I’ve noticed, that when I let up on my pelvic floor, my hips will spasm a bit, and go in flexion? Not sure what that’s about yet, but I keep my eyes closed, sink into the breath, and just keep feeling, everything.
It always starts as engaging my core and obliques, and I work my way around back with the TA and QL’s. Once I got those engaged, I grab the glute med, and flex my hips a bit, side to side. Then I move to my hip flexors, working on keeping them relaxed. This whole time, I’m really trying to keep my pelvic floor engaged too. I need to learn more about that area so I can map it out better?
Then I quickly move to my glute max and quads, and with each breath, work on how tight I need to squeeze, while simultaneously relaxing my hamstrings. I’ll alternate between my left and right leg, working on pushing thru my heels, or my toes. Once I get below the knees in terms of sensations, I really am working on just trying to engage and move my feet. It’s hard, and I can hear them creaking in the bed, but boy is it tricky sometimes to try to feel em! But I keep at it!
I work on doing some ab vacuums, while extending my legs, and do some mental visualization, of me extending out + me standing tall. I’ll alternate between that, and focusing on my breath and sensations. It’s all a mix. But this supine time, is honestly really great. I’m really enjoying waking up this way!
Wow! This morning was amazing!!
Had quite the busy day today! Trying to modify these braces has been quite the time! It’s taken me a bit longer than I first thought, and my left leg is still not done! I don’t know what it is about this leg, hip, left side that is so wonky! Nina asked me yesterday, if I had more trauma on my left side. I told her I didn’t know, and I didn’t think so? But goodness, this hip flexor, hamstring, everything on my left side is so gosh darn tight! It’s ridiculous. I think my left leg is also more bowed than my right, but it’s so gosh darn goofy!
This has been a heck of a day. Got up in the standing frame to round it out, and my legs are calm! Here’s to some exciting, new, difficult opportunities to continue to test my legs and body these upcoming weeks! Let’s see how it goes! But for now, it’s time for rest.
Callie and I were working on stuff right up until we got ready for bed! Heckuva day!
Works Cited
The Astronaut on Earth 
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