11/2
Juggling a soccer ball? Is this even possible to do in the chair? I had this dream where I was juggling the soccer ball to help wake my legs up. It wasn’t going well at first, and I remember needing to ask Callie a bunch of times to help me get the soccer ball after I would throw it up in the air, try to hit it with my leg, and it would roll away (with my knee or foot unable to kick it where I wanted to). But with enough practice, I was able to get the ball up in the air! It was pretty incredible! I am going to have to play around with this!
Every Tool’s a Hammer – Life is What You Make, has been the new book I picked up after Physics and Psychology. It’s been really interesting too, I’m glad Joey loaned me the book! I’m FINALLY able to read it! It’s been crazy, because as I have been reading through it (and making great progress) it feels like Adam Savage is talking to me. I think it was the first 2-3 pages, and it had me in tears. About making. Because it’s something I’m so passionate about. And I want to see how I can help channel this energy for my own work. I think this book could be the stepping stone for that. Last night as I slept I was planning out one of my projects, who I needed help from, where to build it, where to start. I think even with my rehab, I can also fit this in. This is the next chapter I’m going to try to incorporate! I’m ready for this!
So! Spinal stim! Something I do at PT, and have a device at home, BUT am not using enough!! Here’s what I just read!
“Spinal stimulation shows multi-system benefits years after injury
A new case study has shown that non-invasive spinal cord stimulation can restore multiple functions in someone who sustained a spinal cord injury over a decade ago.
The participant, who was injured in 2012 after a tree fell on his neck, was diagnosed with a C4 motor-complete injury. As part of the study, spinal stimulation targeting the lumbosacral spinal cord was applied for one hour a day, five days a week, over six weeks.
The results were encouraging. The participant experienced improvements in bladder, bowel, sexual and cardiovascular function, along with a return of voluntary leg movement against gravity.” [1]
Basically, I need to be doing my spinal stim WAYY more than I currently am doing!!
Cardio! Shoot! This was the other one too I need to ramp up!!
Working out! Okay, it’s 7:30am, body batter charged, I’m on vacation, and I need to get to the gym!!! Let’s get moving for a fun day ahead with Callie! When I woke up today, I realized that I’m ready to be up! So no more research or writing! Time to get moving! We are going to Joshua Tree today! Gotta bring the camera!
Joshua Tree day!
Today was ALOT! We got on the road around 9, and didn’t get back to the hotel until 9-10pm!
I drove the whole time! This may have been slightly farther than we wanted to drive in a single day, because we are both POOPED! But it was so much fun! We saw so many cool and new sights!
We made it into the National Park in about 3hrs, and the Ranger at the admissions checkpoint just said to us, “well, technically we are closed and not taking fees, so you can go in, but be safe! We are here just to make sure folks at being safe.” Which was so nice to have seen!
So we make it in the Park, and to be honest, this is a landscape I’ve NEVER seen in my entire life. It was so foreign! Callie and I both thought it looked like the surface of Mars, and the Joshua Trees! Straight out from science fiction!
So we are just out here! Exploring the desert! It was so cool, we got ourselves a map, and picked some spots on it, and just started driving! No real plan, except to see new places and the Park!
Man, and we got to a spot with the wildest view!
This was a great spot to see over the park! We were way up on the mountain, and it was awesome too, to have found a spot that was accessible for me to get up to as well. The view was so totally worth it up here!
I took a pic of this 3D Map, to get an idea for where we were!
Man what a spot! Someone even took our picture!
Callie looking for the Salton Sea!
Then we drove down back into the Valley of these mountains, and found a literal forest of these trees / Cacti!
This was quite the Park. Man oh man would it be cool to come back here and camp and boulder! Maybe next trip! This was an amazing day with Callie, we definitely had a lot of seat time!
We drove a TON today, but Callie’s a trooper and we made it! Goodness! We even found a random In-N-Out for dinner! Boy do we need some rest after today!
We ended up getting some fun souvenirs from Joshua Tree, and I couldn’t help but admire this particular design, “Don’t Die Today”.
I couldn’t help but think the park was talking to me, about this idea. Honestly the desert is definitely not a beast to be reckoned with, and although today I’m not doing any major hiking, I thought about this one.
Not only am I trying not to die today, I’m trying to live. I’m tryin to regain function. I’m working on my body. I’m feeling more, moving more. One day at a time. So regardless how bleak and sad in these moments I feel, I need to remember this. Don’t Die Today. Ha! Goodness. It sure is hard sometimes, but I’m gonna keep trying to make something more happen in my body!
11/3
Wow! So much sensation and activation going on down low! In my hips, my quads, rear hips and upper butt, knees, shins, bottoms of feet! It almost feels like my body needs days like yesterday. Lots of activation but also, a lot of opportunities to use my legs and nervous system! It’s crazy. I think I really need some of these really really “full” days?
lol well thanks Schmüle, it’s been a whole lot of that, and more than that too… lol. I guess my entire existence is just kinda really hard these days, not to sugar coat it. For every “up” there’s another “dip” at some point too. 🤷♂️ it’s uh, kinda wild being alive.
To be honest I had quite the “relevation” while driving yesterday, about being alive. And how there was a world where I don’t exist. I’m revisiting this idea a couple weeks later, truthfully, there is so much out there. We are all so small, in our own worlds. I haven’t gotten myself or Cal out in this world in quite some time. It gives me hope to do more though, to continue pushing. To keep working hard. I can’t quite remember all those thoughts from that day, but I do believe it was that. We aren’t all alone on our own, and continuing to work on ourselves, to better contribute as a whole, I think has alot to do with it.
Made it to the Zoo today! We did sleep in but we also had some fun! It was great getting moving and seeing some pandas!
Had a fun night at dinner too! Made it over to the Gaslamp area of San Diego! Had some sushi and ramen, man oh man what a way to try to round out the weekend!
Going to need to wrap it all up before we head out tomorrow! It’s been a day!
11/4
It’s uh, it’s hard. Rest is so tough. I never get a full night to just get “rested”. It’s so tough. I don’t know. All of these “hard” things I have to deal with really add up, day in and day out. Really makes you not want to keep moving and working. I don’t know about it all sometimes. Really is hard.
I’m going to really need to give this left hip some love and work when we get home. This trip has not been kind to him. Honestly it’s been hard on my body. I feel the tides of change coming up, and I want to make sure I’m ready for it.
My legs have at least been trying to get in extension while laying sometimes. It’s odd, I can’t fully put my finger on it. Also too, last night when I laid on my stomach, I was able to get my left hip to quiet down, and it allowed me to get some rest, for the first time that night. Goodness gracious has that been hard. It puts me in tears sometimes. Makes me want to give up hope. Ugh. And then the whole business of not being able to do what I normally do. That’s also hard. Not being able to get yourself out of the bed on your own is really hard. You feel so much less useful than you normally do. It’s tough.
I better get up and get moving, we have our return flights, and it will make sense to have everything all ready and try not to rush around.
Micro-movements for the win in the airplane! My right leg especially is extending more and more while also able to maintain a stabile position! This is pretty awesome, just small movements, little by little!
I’m thinking too, about the book I’m reading, and how I think this was exactly the kick in the rear I needed to initiate the change and the plans to start in motion! Just the fact of getting all my ideas into a list is extremely helpful for me! Hearing someone else find so much value in lists really helps me reinforce this habit of mine, and the ability to help progress it even more! I have the most difficult sets of tasks and ideas that need to be solved set out, so now I’m ready to start building that momentum! Now, I’m going to also do this with my recovery! Sounds to me like I’m gearing up for a new set of lists! Looks like I’m also going to make a modified Reformer soon!?
Got up in the standing frame today after a very long day of Travel from San Diego. I really need some rest! This has been a long week/ weekend! My body is in need of structure and repetition coming back from this trip.
11/5
Wow, holy smokes am I really feeling my glutes, my quads and abdomen engaging as I’m pushing my abs down to extend my legs while laying on my side / back in bed?! I can feel the stretch and the contraction all at the same time! This is so interesting, I cannot believe how extended they are getting!
Items for Daily Leg & Core Work
- micro-activations (as much as possible all day)
- Standing frame work + spinal stim!!
- Extended shoulder work (to help prevent body from tightening)
- Exo Work (working on advancing out of the clinic) + spinal stim!!
- Reformer / Spring work + spinal stim!!
- On Busy Days – IdealKnee
I understand that life is busy. Don’t get me wrong, I get it! But I’m working on all of these items, slowly but surely!
Everything just makes me sad, sometimes. I’m over here doing research on something that I want to be able to use. And I can’t right now. It drives me wild.
Hmm, post-entry edit (11/28): reading my last paragraph, and seeing the sadness I was experiencing, makes me think that coming back from the trip, I got a little, “post vacation blues?” Possibly?
11/6
Wow! You think it would get old feeling or discussing all the new and increased sensation but really! It’s pretty amazing! My legs are getting stronger. It’s happening slowly, but surely my legs are getting in extension more. My abdomen, core, pelvic floor, is waking up! Also the muscles in my back and low back are being actively engaged more and more throughout the day, I was noticing that last night when I laid down to go to sleep how engaged they really were! So that’s one big change that I’ve been trying to do is right when I go to sleep, I lay on my stomach for a bit. I also have been trying to read while on my stomach and I’ve been shifting onto my left hip and then my right hip. But what I’ve noticed, is that this is a chance for muscles while on my side to have a break from being constantly elongated. Which feels really good! Like right now those muscles on my low back fell like they’re all trying!! Slowly, but surely.
Wood. Marble. The ideas from Superstring theory. It’s really weird right now as I’m driving down the road, I’m just getting overloaded with so much sensation all at once. It’s very overwhelming, like my ear even hurts. It’s really weird because (yawn), it just kinda seems that everything right now is fairly overwhelming? I’m in a rush to get to PT. My legs are really sweaty, I yawned like 6 or 7 times now in the past couple of minutes. I feel almost drowsy. It’s really weird. I don’t know what it is. Is this my body changing? Or am I just tired? I don’t really know, it’s weird how when I write it really helps me slow myself down, in ways I don’t always understand. It’s really weird. Like I’m able to put thoughts to things in my brain that really do not make any sense? I yawned again. I’ve been thinking about so much. Things in my body, how to get back walking my own, personal projects work, all the things at work. It’s just really odd to have to have this mind-rush right now.
The mortality of it all, how we all don’t live forever. Thinking about that is always odd. I yawned again. My left eyelid twitched a little bit too. Maybe stress? Well, let’s get to PT and see how it goes!
Phew, glad to have gotten to move around for the day! But now… Great. I can’t breathe. I have massive indigestion. I shouldn’t have laid down so soon after eating. Ugh. Here’s another rough night I think. Well let’s see how it goes.
11/7
I’m shook. Is that what this is? Believing in one’s self, envisioning one’s self doing (said thing), and then slowly but surely sticking with it, day in and day out? Am I literally growing back my spinal cord? I was dreaming last night, and I had these exact thoughts. Im laying here as I just woke up, and the tingles and tension is slowly moving down my body, to the lowest part of my trunk/ abdomen, glutes, pelvic floor, quads. My legs and shins, feet are all waking up tremendously. It’s insane. It’s crazy how much a Pilates session is able to help these muscles wake up!
Right now my left and right legs are getting so far into extension in the hip and knee while laying, and it’s happening slowly but surely! I can feel the muscles tense up! I can also feel more and more activation in my low abdomen / internal obliques!
Got up in the standing frame for 3hrs!!
Wow! Just did some Wim Hof breathing exercises! As I got done, and let my breath return to normal, a toot comes out!?!
11/8
So it’s interesting, I’ve been getting in and out of the car without the slide board?! I’m also feeling my legs kicking in a TON while I’m doing this as well? What’s up with this?…
So, Callie got some new chairs for the kitchen table. Seems pretty innocuous, but they’ve actually been.. really helpful for me feeling my legs wayy more and activating way more throughout the day!?
Time to work on the project! More to come tomorrow and next week and see how my body does! It sure has been a busy one!
The Astronaut on Earth 
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