8/3
I seem to have the capacity for a racing mind if I don’t keep him (my mind) occupied with the right tasks, ideas, or information. It just has this ability to run wild.
Assigning meaning, to ourselves, what we think and feel, and what we experience and do, is one of the most important aspects of our lives. I know how easy it can be to get overwhelmed and think everything sucks, how hard it is, and fall into that windfall of doom and gloom. But turns out I know when I wake up each morning, slow down, and think about the feeling, sensation, and activation changes and what’s happening in my body, it really helps set me up for a day of success. I know how much my body is changing, responding, and adapting and improving with the physical fitness I do, it’s just a matter of time, dedication, and commitment to what I am putting in each day.
Don’t get so overwhelmed with what everyone else is doing, all we can do in moments like this is focus on ourselves and what we are doing. Sometimes that’s all we need to do.
My hips aren’t freaking out, and they are a good ways into extension right now! I need to get up and get on with the day before I get too tight and uncomfortable from laying and holding it in. I know that helps.
Doing things. Staying active, working on projects, seeing things through. As the astronaut on earth I know it’s important that I cross off a few things everyday, in addition to being consistent with my exercises and activities. speaking of which, if I had an ideal day, or close to ideal, what would that look like?
- Wake up, use facilities and clean myself up
- Get on floor, move around
- Eat breakfast
- Do some light reading, work on projects?
- Get to gym for some cardio/ free weights
- Find time for post workout meal/ lunch
- Light reading, cleanup, more project work
- Find time for standing frame, play a game of chess up here, plan out next day and week?
- Use facilities, have dinner with Callie
- Watch a quick episode of TV while we eat
- Another bout either in standing frame or floor with leg stretcher before bed
- Wind down time for bed
I think that right there might be a pretty okay and well spent day. I have a chance to try to do this today, so let’s get up and see how this goes!
Am I also being honest with myself? About the amount of time I’m going to be in this chair? Do I need to re-align expectations? Because all I’ve ever been doing is taking it one day at a time, and giving myself and body time to heal, recover, and work. I know I am in this chair right now, but why should I continue to think that it’s always going to be this way?
Today’s been busy. We did alot today. My body was able to do some cardio, get in the floor, the standing frame twice, and I even tried to get up off the floor without anything. Honestly, I have to realize that I can’t just do things for the first time without having any struggles or not being able to do it right away. Honestly that’s been the case for so many things, I don’t have to let that get me down.
It’s time for some rest, I’m cooked.
8/4
My legs are getting into more and more extension everyday! My knees have so much proprioception right now, it’s so intense! Honestly, it’s really just this left hip flexor that’s giving me grief, maybe I just need some attention from the PM&R for that hip? Idk we shall see!
I spent a bunch of time trying to get up into the chair from just the chair. I was getting mightily discouraged because I was having some difficulties. It always frustrates me having these rods sometimes. My mobility is in a sense limited at the moment. It’s tough. I see folks even in wheelchairs doing things, that I feel like I can’t do. It’s really rough. I know this doesn’t have to be the case! I’m working on it. I gotta give myself a break because I know it can take more than just 1 attempt to do something for your first time. I don’t need to get discouraged! I think it will really help this camping trip out!!
So, I feel like there is something to doing cardio, or cardiovascular training, in conjunction with my actual physical therapy work waking up muscles below the level of injury.
It’s so weird, how is it that my body is at “rest” according to my watch when I’m standing up, and I’m stressed to the moon when I’m seated in this chair? Being in this chair is the most disorienting experience of all time, I swear.
What’s wild, is these past few nights, I’ve been telling myself, and painting an interesting landscape in my head, to be able to fall asleep. Usually, when I’m trying to go to bed, I have what feels like a thousand conversations, with a thousand perspectives tied in with each one. They are buzzing and swirling around, about endless possibilities and situations. I have a hard time getting to sleep when my mind is racing in such a way, so I decided to try out something. To try out a new visual. I thought of my head as this cube of water. Almost like an aquarium, with no fish in it. Filled maybe 2/3 full. And inside it, are waves crashing inside from not only all sides, but varying levels of intensities, frequencies, and amplitudes. I know I didn’t want that noise going on in my head. So what I did, is I tried to think about these waves, as when they are colliding, with each breath, try to time a new set of waves crashing in, that came over them all, to attempt to overpower them. And then when the wave crashes into the other wall opposite from where it came in, it then bounces back, and smoothes out more of the noise and waves still there from the other directions.
It’s at about this time too, where I then need to make sure the wave is able to maintain itself, to continue traversing back and forth from wall to wall. Slowly, calmly, and without perturbations. it’s interesting too, how quickly I was able to lull myself to sleep after I did that too.
“So walk on air against your better judgement” is a line from the poem by Seamus Heaney. He also had used as his epitaph on his gravestone. I’ve been thinking a lot about what that line means. For me, as well as in the poem “The Gravel Walks”. It’s an interesting line, because I don’t know exactly what it could mean, but rather many different images pop into my head for this one. I guess that’s the beauty of poetry is there isn’t a right or wrong answer. This type of writing is so different from the physics and neuroscience I’ve been reading. It’s been, interesting, to say the least! It’s been a very interesting change. Wonder what that line means for others?
Okay so Danica had told me something about what I was thinking about with cardio and my recovery! Turns out I would very much benefit from doing more cardio, and also trying to time it before doing some of my physical therapy sessions! Especially for me because it puts you in a heightened neurological state!
1. Increased Blood Flow = Increased Oxygen + Nutrient Delivery
• More circulation means more oxygen and nutrients to the spinal cord and peripheral nerves, which supports neuroplasticity and healing.
• Even passive or upper-body-based cardio helps boost systemic circulation, which still benefits areas below the injury.
2. Upregulation of Neurotrophic Factors
• Cardiovascular exercise increases BDNF (Brain-Derived Neurotrophic Factor) and VEGF (Vascular Endothelial Growth Factor)—key for:
• Nerve regeneration
• Synaptic plasticity
• Muscle reinnervation
• These compounds help your nervous system rewire more effectively—critical for recovery.
3. Amplifies Central Pattern Generator (CPG) Activation
• Your spinal cord has built-in rhythmic movement generators.
• Cardio, especially when rhythmic and repetitive (like arm cranking, assisted walking, or even rhythmic rocking in the standing frame), primes these networks and makes them more responsive to lower limb input.
4. Activates the Autonomic Nervous System
• Cardio wakes up sympathetic and parasympathetic tone, which:
• Regulates vascular tone in the legs
• Supports sensation and reflex loop restoration
• Helps reduce dysregulation below the injury
5. Enhances Plasticity via Systemic Excitability
• Cardio can literally make your nervous system more plastic for a window of time (approx. 20–60 minutes afterward).
• If you time your standing frame, EMG-triggered movement, or targeted PT work after cardio, you may tap into a more responsive state.
We literally talked about all this, which was so cool to hear from an OT!
So, I was just thinking, “are baby falls similar to how earlier today, I was feeling a “jolt” of sensation and activation through my legs when I would hit the heavy bag?” Seems like a worthwhile idea to explore!
8/5
So I’m three weeks behind on my notes! I haven’t gotten a chance to edit and publish my notes for the month of July! Sometimes this happens when I’m feeling the most busy. There’s a pretty good chance I simply am busy, but I always like to carve out a bit of time for my writing. It just helps me so much, and helps me keep track of everything. It’s a bit overwhelming at times, and this helps me slow myself down.
I really worked my abductors yesterday! That was awesome they were kicking in so much!
This has got to be the most significant my calves have felt on a morning wake up ever! My left side is really felling it! As is my right?! This is pretty incredible!!
8/6
I’m telling ya, this hips and legs are waking up! Every day, every morning, just a little more activation, extension, they are really trying! Yesterday was a long day, I didn’t get to move as much as I typically like to, and I needed a lot of rest this morning. My right leg is doing some incredible work right now! He’s instinctually or reflexively moving out of the sheets, and trying to get out of the bed on my own! I always have a hard time describing the tense for how my legs do this, as I never want to disassociate with them. I am one person. I am whole. I am just working on reconnecting!
I’m sitting at the kitchen table, after a long day that’s still not finished. Just sitting, thinking, recollecting about what it is I did, and what I need to still do. I’m not always able to slow myself down in these moments, because my head is able to go in a thousand different directions. Keeping my course straight, now that’s the trick and tricky part.
Made it to talk to the PT from Rewalk, the doctor’s appointment for the PM&R, 2 hours of PT, worked all day, and I’m still needing to do so much more. Shoot I even talked to the Legal team! It’s been seriously a busy day today. I just got the books, Crow, and Life Of A Naturalist. I’m excited to read these. I’ve been exploring topics from my favorite singer/song writer. The lead singer from the band, Frightened Rabbit, his name is Scott Hutchison. He’s always been a favorite of mine, and the lyrics and words to his songs hit so much differently since the accident. Something maybe I’ll expand on more in later times.
8/7
Boy oh boy are these legs a-changin’! When I am laying on my side in bed, especially in the morning, I feel it’s important to explore all the sensations! Danica and I yesterday did some proprioceptive training while laying prone, and I was astounded with how it felt! It was interesting because it almost felt like my hamstrings were doing the opposite than what they were doing? They felt “tighter” when they were partially contracted, and “loose” when she had them stretched out? I thought that it would have been the other way around, since my hamstrings are so tight, when my legs are stretched out, that would create a situation where my hamstrings are elongated and pulled tight? Not the case. As I’m talking about this right now, Danica said this makes sense because when they are partially contracted, they are now in a position that is more easily fired?!
Made the trip to Michigan to visit!
8/8
John’s wedding day!!!! Callie and I made it over from Milwaukee to celebrate John & Jill’s special day! Boy is their Julia awfully cute! We had a great time with them and we’re glad to have made it! Not much to talk about for the recovery because I was busy trying to enjoy my family. It was a wonderful time and dinner after!
8/9
My legs and body when I woke up, felt so much more alive today and active than they usually do!
We’ve had quite the long day again today! It’s been a lot making our way all the way over to St Clair, and back again! We had a great dinner on the river, and spent time with the family!
legs are getting into extension and straightening out so well!!
I really need to make sure I am able to spend time with my family. They’re incredibly important to me! It’s really a wonder sometimes, all the happenings in our life, and how easily we are able to get caught up in all of it. It was a great weekend to just spend with them. I miss them all so much, and we get along so well! Those little ones sure are silly to watch, and it’s great to see they have so many to play with, really does bring you back! Life is a wild one, I know I was thinking about that before, how we aren’t just here living for ourselves. When you have a family like I do, it’s not so bad, sharing the joys and pains of being there for one another.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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