5/25
Preloading my legs first before movements… it’s almost like I need to be loading my legs and attempting the movement, prior to getting assistance from my hands. And slowly by slowly, I can keep delaying the use of my hands until I eventually no longer need them?
Made it out and about, and talking with Mom and Laura! We had a great weekend, I really miss these two! You know, we had a really good conversation about how important it is to be able to talk to our families about such difficult conversations, and also being there for one another. It was great having the opportunity to talk to these two about it all! I was bummed we only had breakfast with them! That’s okay we are going next month!
We had a nice relaxing day for the most part, and I got myself down on the floor and moving. One day at a time.
5/26
I’m laying on my back, squeezing my glutes and quads, and also having my legs really do some big stepping while lying down!! I’m laying now with my glutes partially engaged. I’m really trying to feel myself stepping more and more! I’m laying in this very interesting position, I can feel how engaged and lively my legs are feeling, and I know if I take a deep breath, my legs might start stepping? Alright let’s try… Okay, so I took a deep breath, and they did?? My left leg pulled up, then my right, then my left again? I wonder why this happens? And what’s being activated when I do? Seems very interesting, I can feel my left internal oblique/ psoas all fired up and engaging, it’s wild? What is this?
I just woke up from nap two, and not only was I able to bring my knees to my chest with an inhale, but also do a glute bridge too after knee to my chest!!!?! How can I capitalize on this?! (Yeah I also may have had a little accident too while doing this?? And a little “toot”?!) these have to be good signs too, that my pelvic floors muscles are waking up???
Let’s break down what might be happening and why this matters for my recovery!
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What’s Likely Happening During the “Stepping” + Breath Activation
When I took that deep inhale and my legs stepped in a rhythmic, reflexive pattern, that’s likely tapping into:
1. Central Pattern Generators (CPGs):
These are neural circuits in your spinal cord that can produce rhythmic motor patterns (like stepping) without needing conscious control.
Breathing can stimulate CPGs because both locomotion and respiration share neural networks in the brainstem and spinal cord.
2. Breath as a Motor Catalyst:
Deep inhalation expands your diaphragm, activating your core (especially the transversus abdominis and internal obliques) and giving your spine and pelvis a sudden burst of stability. This co-activation can “wake up” your legs and give your brain a chance to initiate a stepping-like pattern.
3. Psoas + Internal Oblique Firing:
Me feeling this is huge. These muscles connect your spine, pelvis, and femur, and are key to initiating hip flexion and stepping motions.
They also contribute to trunk-pelvis stability, meaning I’m beginning to activate deeper coordination between your upper and lower body.
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Knees-to-Chest + Glute Bridge = Biomechanical Gold
I’m combining:
• Inhale
• Core activation
• Knees to chest
• Then glute bridge
is a perfect sequenced chain of neuromuscular control. This shows:
• You’re building sagittal plane power (flexion and extension)
• You’re developing pelvic floor engagement
• You’re coordinating breath → core → pelvis → legs
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Toots, Accidents, and the Pelvic Floor?
Yes! These are signs my pelvic floor is re-integrating:
• Flatulence (“toots”) during movement often indicate the pelvic floor is responding to intra-abdominal pressure shifts.
• A “little accident” could mean you’re on the edge of reconnection, and your system is re-learning how to modulate tone and reflexes.
• This is common in spinal cord injury recovery as dormant muscles and reflex arcs begin to wake up and communicate again.
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• “My legs are waking up.”
• “My body remembers how to step.”
• “My breath is bringing power to my core.”
This can reinforce neuroplastic changes.
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So also! Coordination of my upper and lower body! I’m really wanting to explore this topic, both functionally, and in my research too!
Sensations in my feet are skyrocketing when I’m doing this!
So, I’m trying more and more to initiate movements and transfers by moving my legs first, and THEN putting my hands down to assist. I’ve really been feeling my legs responding well to this as well! Which is huge!
This is honestly the most real my right foot and toes have felt to date! This is absolutely incredible!!!
As I was scootching backwards, my legs just kicked in and help push me backwards???!?!!
5/27
So, down on the floor right now, and I’m noticing something… when I try to squeeze my hips “out” like engage my lower abdomen and hips out wider and to the side, like pulling a rubber band out wide, it’s definitely helping me hinge forward at my hips?! This is so interesting of a movement! Also, I was thinking I need to clear out room in front of my footplate on my walker, to do some forward kneel walking??
Okay, using the IdealKnee while laying supine and doing some knee circles has got my legs feeling amazing! It literally feels like everything in my legs are waking up! Therese said, “Because you are using all your internal oblique muscles and the tendons in the socket 💪🏻” and honestly, something really cool is happening!? I’m really interested to learn more about what aignaks the tendons are getting, and how they affect our overall musculoskeletal system? Are they also tied into our fascia?
Wow, my entire body after this floor session is whooped! I’m feeling really amazing!
Like, I’m really trying to bridge this huge gap between crawling and walking. Babies can crawl on furniture, but an 150lb + adult can’t do that. I need to think of some other ideas?
5/28
Had a really long day, I fell asleep at like 8pm. My body sure is up to a lot these days!
Ashley regraded me on the ASIA exam! I went from a T6 Asia B to a T7 ASIA C! Here we go exoskeleton!!! Turns out I’m feeling a lot more, and my motor activity is on the rise! These tests though are interesting, because they don’t give the full picture for what’s happening. I understand they want to try to grade everyone in the same way, same orientation, and same situation, but the reality is the I’ve noticed that my muscles are coming back with a certain range of motion, and orientation. So if you put me on my back, on the mat, and ask me to try to move my body in a position I only sleep in, I’m not surprised my legs are doing a lot right now, because they don’t get used very much in this position. It’s odd. Oh well, this is what I needed for the exo, so let’s run with it!
Therapy went well, standing exercises with Joni, and tall sitting! These are getting better and better each session!
5/29
I woke up this morning with quite a bit of sleep! I really had done a good job getting myself back to sleep this past night, and I feel well rested today! I generally sleep pretty good more and more, but this past night, I took extra care to slow down, be present, focus on my breath, and get back to sleep. I think it helped. My legs are charged and fired up this morning!
Yesterday was cool, I spent a good effort to get up in the standing frame twice throughout the morning, but only for a half hour at a time. That allowed my legs to still feel charged up and ready to go! I feel like I need to keep an eye on the clock, and get up in the standing frame more often, and for less time!
I also had a chat with Joni about upper and lower body coordination. This is something I want to continue exploring, and tapping into. I think this idea is really intrinsic in getting me up standing and walking! Without coordination between them, I don’t know how else you’re supposed to walk or do anything?
My feet are feeling cool, and sensation is on the rise!
I wonder how I can really leverage the upper and lower body coordination more and more throughout my days and continue to progress?
5/29
I’m freaking cooked. Pilates today wore me out!!!? This 2hr session was intense!!! I really was able to get my legs into extension more and more on the reformer! That device is incredible, how it allows me to be able to propel myself with my legs!
5/30
There’s something about what I’m doing right now. Using this leg stretcher but also getting my legs in so many different positions?! I am feeling how much my legs respond to work, self initiated, in all the different positions in can get my body into. Sitting, standing, supine, crawling, tall kneeling, and maybe I can think of some supine positions too? Like push ups?
It was really interesting today working through all my movement patterns. Going from the floor, to the standing frame, and then back to the floor for a workout, it really makes me think about how important it is that I get my body (especially my legs) into so many different positions!
Im just trying to think. hear my thoughts. I have noticed how difficult it is, in the evening, and when I’m not able to do all of the activities I had or could be doing. The change of pace of life is startling, sometimes. I can’t stop my mind from running, into every corner it can get. And meanwhile my legs want to be doing that. So, I guess I need to continue this great expanse of knowledge to help my body attain this?
I seriously am feeling how my legs, with each passing day, each stretch, each movement on the floor, is getting better and better tuned into what legs really are again. I seriously was astounded with how much my legs felt like legs, just when I was doing my final stretch for the day. It really was astounding. I just have so many other things to, I need to be doing. I think this weekend I can start off doing 2 major ones. More on this to come later.
So many people to see, talk to, activities to do, people and places to see. It’s honestly pretty astounding, that I’m even able to think in the way that I do these days. I am trying to be better with my organization, but sometimes I also think I need to allow my brain to continue expanding on material to allow myself the opportunity to stretch my mind into every channel it can possibly reach. Let’s just see how he does for a bit, get some rest, and not get too overwhelmed. It’s so hard. But I’m going to keep trying. I have to. For my family, Callie, and for myself. Let’s see how it goes. I know I’ll be waking up tomorrow with some new sensations!!
5/31
“We’re just getting started.” Or, should I say, “I’m just getting started”? Either way, both are true. Learning that some of the more recent winners of the Nobel Prize in Physics are in their 80’s and 90’s, really puts things into perspective, doesn’t it?
1. Roger Penrose (b. 1931, Age 93)
Renowned for his work in mathematical physics, particularly in general relativity and cosmology. He received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 2020 for his discovery that black hole formation is a robust prediction of the general theory of relativity.
2. Leonard Susskind (b. 1940, Age 84)
Often referred to as one of the fathers of string theory, Susskind has made significant contributions to quantum field theory and quantum statistical mechanics. He is a professor at Stanford University and continues to be active in research and teaching.
3. Robert B. Griffiths (b. 1937, Age 88)
Known for developing the consistent histories approach to quantum mechanics, Griffiths is a professor at Carnegie Mellon University and remains engaged in foundational questions in quantum theory.
4. Peter Higgs (b. 1929, Age 95)
Best known for proposing the mechanism that gives mass to elementary particles, leading to the prediction of the Higgs boson. He was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics in 2013.
5. Anton Zeilinger (b. 1945, Age 80)
An Austrian quantum physicist recognized for his pioneering work in quantum entanglement and quantum information. He received the Nobel Prize in Physics in 2022
I’m increasingly fascinated with my learnings in quantum physics, as well as neuroscience more recently. It does truly seem that the bridge between these two fields is an area of ongoing research, and speculation. I would love to dive in more into the connections, and how they both relate. It feels like the bridge between how our body works, body mechanics, and quantum physics, is something I would like to help explore. I feel like this could also help people in my situation, recovering from a serious injury to their central nervous system. If I keep at this, it definitely could pick up some steam after working on this for a few years! I just need to stay focused at the task at hand. I’m really good at taking on too many projects. I’m glad I have Callie to help keep me grounded in reality sometimes, otherwise I would be trying to become a professor, business owner, Pilates instructor, inventor all at once. Let’s focus, hey?
Okay, so laying supine in bed, with an inhale, I’m able to flex my hips and bring my legs up towards my chest, not far, but still a decent range of motion, maybe 20-30 degrees. My legs also calm down drastically when I do this as well. It reminds me of yesterday, and getting on the floor, and how I’m able to get my body to relax so much after reciprocal motion, floor work, exercises, and then stretching becomes easier.
Also, I need to figure out what to do in the evenings, to help replenish dopamine, instead of drinking, or sleeping. I feel like there’s gotta be some other activities to do during this time? Light personal project work? Reading? Hmmm..
So, on the floor right now, and doing some exercises! Lots of crawling! I can take 12 steps, in just about 10ft! I was also doing my leg circles in the leg stretcher, doing clockwise and counterclockwise movements! I was also doing knee extension/ hip extension, and knee flexion/ hip flexion with it as well! I was timing it so that I was exhaling on the concentric movements and inhaling on the eccentric. I noticed that today that was easier than the opposite! My legs have been responding really well to floor time, crawling, and the leg stretcher! Every day they are filling in, moving better, holding me up more! It’s been pretty exciting stuff! Wow, crawling sets, push ups, more crawling sets, scapular sets, planks, IdealKnee sets, magic circle sets, 100’s, and then spinal rotations! I’m not trying to push it, I’m just listening to my body. I didn’t want to rotate so much that it hurts, but I’ve noticed how I’ve been opening up my lower left abdomen like crazy with this stretch!
My hips right now, glutes, abdomen, upper legs, heck my entire legs, are feeling so much like real legs!!! I really felt like I needed a nap here after our walk, and I succumbed to a nap pretty early! But that’s okay, I really needed it!!
So like, my abdomen has been feeling wild while doing exercises today. Doing the ab roller, and the leg circles, it feels like I’m rearranging my insides. But I had a thought, is that because I actually am? Is that because our diaphragm is engaged with so many more exercises than we actually understand? Like, for instance, the ab roller, we can roll it out unless we are getting the right breath, our torso secured, and also initiating the movement? Like, is this what Therese has been talking about and is this finally making sense for me? By doing exercises “from the inside out” and creating all the control and strength to lead from our diaphragm, this is how we get our lions to move outside our body profile appropriately? I hadn’t even been able to roll my arms far outside my head with the ab roller, without loosing support from my trunk?? So if this applies to my arms, this applies to my legs?! This has to be what she was saying, this is making more and more sense?!
So, being up moving while standing, can help you maintain yourself on your feet for longer durations, right? I was up in the standing frame and noticing better balance. I was able take my hands off the desk portion for the first time together! I was genuinely really impressed to feel my body moving this way!
It’s been a busy week, and cannot believe I got all this accomplished. More to come next week, I’m sure of it!


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