1/12
Had an accident last night. This is probably why I shouldn’t have any alcohol. It’s just an opportunity for a let down. I guess it’s nice to “fit in” but that ships already sailed. Plus, you’ve managed just fine without it so far. I think it’s probably only right to hold off on it for the time being.
My lower pelvis is experiencing such significant feelings this morning! I’m pleasantly surprised with the tingles and new feels down there! Also, I feel so much in my abdomen, glutes, and my right quads + right upper quad is having such a constant feeling of awareness! I’m really impressed with this! I really think that the “tall sitting” is really helping! Now how I can take the tall sitting to the next level?
I think that one thing that gets me down, is how I seem to see and compare other people’s recovery timelines. It’s really hard for me sometimes to see other people doing what they are doing. It’s hard. It sometimes seems unfair. But I was just feeling the right outer portion of my quads, it’s either my vastus lateralis or rectus femoris?! It’s crazy how much increase in sensation I am noticing this morning!
“Steel Cables | Loose Ropes”
Did some heavy bag today! Felt great to do some cardio!
Did feet on the floor, single arm bent over rows with 25lbs! That was the first time ever! That was so cool I could really feel something significant in my left quad changing when I was doing each rep! I still needed a single arm support, but this has come along ways! I’ve been keeping my feet on the floor for each exercise, and it’s been going really well so far! Lat pulldowns are really hard because I engage so much of my body when I do them, it’s been a good session so far!
I’m so pleasantly surprised with how significant my feet and legs were feeling after my “leg kick” exercises! This was intense because they were getting so straight! Also, the crepitis in my right knee was slowly going away too as I worked it out with Callie! I was really trying to think about the “steel cables, loose ropes” analogy to help keep my focus throughout the workout, and I think it really helps! I’m just always in shock at how much straighter, stronger, and connected my body feels after the workout. I’m convinced this has been so important for my SCI recovery. Without taking these matters into my own hands, who knows where I would be today.
1/13
Why is learning that the day of the week, I.e. Tuesday, is the Germanic god Tyr, who is the analogous god to Mars, which is the planet Mars, which is similar to the day of the week Martes? Why does learning all of this at the same time make it easier to consolidate and learn this info? I feel like I know the days of the week in Spanish so well because of this technique? What’s this technique called? Seems completely irrelevant to me getting back walking or my spinal cord injury, but I realized this is an idea called semantic scaffolding for learning new concepts! “Information visualization has practical value – it is a means to gain insights, reveal patterns, shape decision-making, and provoke a reaction from a reader” [1]
Does semantic scaffolding work for learning something physical? I think if I apply this idea, use some good visuals and imagery, it can really help! I think the example of Steel Cables / Loose Ropes is a start! Let’s see how it goes!
I am wondering, how Pilates will help me get back walking by helping hamstring tightness and help with quad strength? I’ve been doing some reading about Joseph Pilates, and he honestly seems like such an innovator! I’m excited to see what this will bring!
1/14
What is Pilates breathing? How much sleep do astronauts get? Some questions I have this morning as I get started with the day! I am trying to capture my questions on paper, because it helps me to be able to go back and look at these questions later.
How can I start using tall sitting exercises to incorporate reciprocal movement? Is this where Pilates will come in? I think I might be on to something!
Working on my breath today was really amazing! I was moving a lot better!
It sucked that it was about 9F outside, made for some cold transfers too. Very chilly in this darn wheelchair!
The gym today and shoulder exercises went really well! Did a couple new things for the first time! I was really excited to get to the gym, use my body, and stretch out a bit! It’s been a busy day so this should do it for notes!
1/15
I woke up this morning with some really heavy, really significant feelings in my knees and upper thighs! When I got in my chair it felt like my butt was filling in and wasn’t just giving out and starting the tingles first thing! At least I was able to make it to the bathroom before they slowly started to set in!
Segway with knee blocks? I think I could definitely make this! I had this thought this past night, and I legitimately think it could work, as long as the upright support is strong enough to support my knees and hips.
Also, using the cable machine exercises in different orientations for my legs? This has been such a wonderful exercise, I need to start working on variations!
1/16
Woke up really refreshed this morning!
How many other things do we do that are just “automatic”? That we don’t even realize we are doing? To me it’s so interesting to see everyone walking around, to whatever it is they are trying to do, dinner, groceries, the bar. Not even thinking about the walking and the movements they are doing, or having a care in the world. Well, they are not thinking not about their legs. They have a lot else to think about, I’m sure, but their legs under them I doubt is at the top of their mind.
It just drives me nuts, to have to live so passively. Not in the sense that I’m not doing a lot of activities, but in the sense of pure movement, and having to be so passive in this chair. I did get the new backrest, the lower back rest. It would appear as though I should be happy right now, but I’m not.
I’m really upset. This is really hard. I don’t even want to have to explain what I have been having to do for the past two days because it’s absolutely revolting and makes me want to be sick. I don’t know a single person who has to do this to stay alive.
I hate this. Why. That’s all you can ever ask yourself in these situations. Why me? Why do I have to do this? Why is this worth it? It’s awful. It’s debilitating, and humiliating. I’m ashamed. I’m in horror. It makes me want to cry. But there are no tears, and my left eye can’t even cry because of a clogged tear duct. Yeah, that’s still been going on for the past 6 months as well. Great.
I’m not even sure what I’m trying to say right now. I just see all this around me and it makes me want to be sick. It’s awful.
Okay so my left leg sitting here on the toilet just did the largest stomp and what felt like electrical jolt of all freaking time, it was insane.
1/17
So, last night, I was thinking about how I like to jump into the bed of my truck. I would grab the bed rails, put a foot on the tire, and heave and hop into the bed. When I think about that when I’m lying here in bed at night, I really feel my quads proprioception! I really feel them there! I even used to do a little run up, build up some speed and momentum, and do it with both feet! Same thing too, for getting out of the truck bed. I would plant my right hand, get my left foot up out on the outside of the bed rails, follow with my right onto the bed rail. From there, I would kick off all in one fluid motion, rotate around to get my feet on the ground, and then lower myself into a deep squat. I remember how it was always a good stretch for everything and my knees.
I try to spend time doing mental exercises in bed, going for runs with Max, walking around my old apartment, riding bikes, pulling wheelies, you name it. My legs were apart of everything I did and like to do. I hardly watched tv, and I was always moving my body.
As I’m laying here, I’m pretty flat on my back! Quads are feeling there, and are propriocepting and being much more present than my hamstrings are! Steel cables, loose ropes! That’s what I’m trying to tell myself with each breath.
Last night sucked. I did have a thought how my body must be going through some wild changes at the moment. I don’t know why I was having such bad indigestion, I feel like I was doing all the right things and wasn’t being bad about anything? I hope today goes a bit better, plus I have Pilates to try today as well!
Speaking of which, I’m really excited! I’m really excited to strengthen my core, stretch and work my legs, and add something new to my fitness routine! My body does pretty well with new routines and habits, so i think this should be a really good addition! It’s also interesting how the first week that Rose is gone on maternity leave, happens to be the first week of Pilates. Funny coincidence!
Pilates went really well! It was amazing to get up on the Cadillac, my sitting balance has improved so much! Also Callie, Luis, and Bruce helped me the whole time too, which was amazing! I’m really excited to see how the progression goes! Cool spot too, by the train tracks! I’m excited to see what the Pilates journey will bring!
1/18
Yesterday I was messing around with Joni, Callie, and the students on how to pull myself up a curb with the new backrest. Turns out I’ve never really learned this one. I never wanted to because I don’t and still don’t have plans to use this forever. I guess learning new things isn’t bad for us though. So we were practicing with the 2”-6” curbs, and the 6” was too tall for me at the time to try to get my back wheels up.
I was able to do it fairly easily on the 2”, then moving to the 4” took some practice. I really had to get my hands so much farther back on the hand rims than I had thought or imagined! Then, after I did it once or twice, I was in shock how I was doing it!
I really needed a day of rest. Everything stacked up on top of everything else to make for a very tired and stressed Joe. It was a long and hard day. Let’s see how today goes. I really have been feeling my glutes and quads firing up so much more these past couple days! I need to try more tall sitting or more unassisted standing!!
Yesterday at therapy too, I was proud of how my stationary stands + leg lifts were looking!!! My opposite leg to the one standing was lifting more and more!!! It was great! I will have to make sure I get in the standing frame and do spinal stim more often!!! Kinda like today?!
Stability before Mobility, just a little mantra to remember.
So, today was wild. I’m completely exhausted. Today was the first day without the higher backrest, and the first day of Pilates, I got a haircut, and my bowels were really giving me a run for my money. My body is completely exhausted. This was such an intense day! My body is doing more and more activities that are so new for him!
I’m realizing and noticing how much more my core is engaging because of this too, which is great!
It’s 8:20pm, I’m in bed laying down for the first time today. My body needed a break, bad today. For some reason I made it the whole day with the lower backrest. This was intense…..
Citations
[1] Byrne, L. (2018). Semantic scaffolding: the co-construction of visualization meaning through reader experience. UQ eSpace. https://espace.library.uq.edu.au/view/UQ:c72c9b3
The Astronaut on Earth 
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