12/8
Okay, I’m like halfway through the day, and I’m wondering what the heck is going on. Why am I working on work stuff on Sunday??? Ugh.
So, I need to get this body moving! I’m finally up in the standing frame, and I’ve been a bit distracted I would say! As soon as I saw out of the corner of my eye, a freighter on the lake, I immediately jumped to attention and went off and grabbed the camera and headed to the roof top!
Finally made it to the gym. My body is a bit sore from not getting to the gym that week during Thanksgiving! It’s crazy how quickly we can feel these changes in our body, muscles are quick to go away, but they take a lot to maintain!
So my whole right inner back, going into my sit bones, glutes, and butt, really is feeling this rod. And then, my left arm, is so unbalanced! I can’t get my left shoulder to upwardly rotate….
Okay, so I just reached back, grabbed the water bottle, drank it without sitting back, and then put it back without even having to touch anything or the backrest! Small wins. You gotta. It’s hard when it feels like I never catch a break. Turns out, I’m trying to make new breaks everyday.
So, I’m doing single arm chest presses, and I’m trying these with no support, or holding onto anything! This is the first time I’ve done this, and it feels wild! Whenever I do a new movement, my heart rate jumps up to 140-150? Not just a new workout for the day, but a completely different workout I’ve never done before!
12/9
Had a really good chat with Erick today about using our legs, and how even standing is using a decent energy! This is a really true and important fact, because i know how many movements throughout the day truly do require our legs. So if I can get them moving more and more often, that’s gotta help, right?
At the gym now, holy smokes. My low back, quads, and entire body is really feeling these bent over rows! 35 pounders for 10 reps is really getting my body going! I really like these. They’re cool to feel how much more stable I am, even if the wheelchair is getting squirrelly. I also feel my obliques really going too! I’m really just feeling my body working to make more and more movements happen!
My entire back and lower body is feeling so very engaged right now. It’s hard to describe, because it’s definitely a jump up from what feels like even just yesterday. The biggest difference is just consciously thinking about activating my quads, and just trying to do that. A lot. Like, all the time I should be, or to stabilize, any time I’m using them, really.
Exhaustion. I’m whooped. Seriously my legs worked so hard today. I’m dead. Pooped.
12/10
So, it’s been interesting reading about Smedley Butler, and his letters and journal entries. This book has taught me a lot about US imperialism. It’s been an interesting journey thus far. It’s also a really big departure from learning about kinesiology and body mechanics. It’s also quite the departure from engineering as well? Huh, anyways. I guess my interests are all over the place, but I do suppose it helps keep things interesting.
So, therapy went really well today, and at the end, I said goodbye to Jack, a student who is going of to his last clinical! It’s been very interesting meeting so many amazing people at the clinic. I’ve been there a year now! I am not sure exactly when my first day was, but I know it was in December of last year! Hard to think how far I’ve come, and how much has happened in this last year alone too! I am really proud of myself, and all the help I’ve had along the way!
I also asked Ashely and she said that she might use her quads up to 80% of the day?! That’s incredible! Turns out that people do turn their muscles on for most of the day! I really need to keep doing this! I asked this question to John, Erick, and Callie, and all ranged from around 50-80% of the time. I think this goes to show how much our leg muscles do get used throughout the day.
12/11
So, I’m thinking I really gotta figure out this abdomen and hip tightness. It’s weird how it behaves, I’m not sure what to do about it?
I really need these quads to fire after my hip flexors. It’s like it’s a sequential firing, I wonder what those signals look like traveling through our legs when they are working just right? Sounds like some research to do!
Being comfortable with being uncomfortable. That’s literally what I’m doing today. I was in the shower, with some of my movements, and I’m doing it right now, by multitasking with my hands, sitting upright, with my feet in the floor. It’s interesting because I know that my body is feeling really engaged when I do this! I need to keep up with this!
“Before you know it, you’re really gonna surprise yourself” – Momma
I think about that, and what she said. I love her so very much, and I’m always so pleasantly surprised with how she’s able to do that to me. I just think about how she’s been able to accomplish and do so much, and she’s always going. It really makes me happy and proud to be her son. I know I gotta keep going because I know she would to. Hopefully I’m making her proud.
I’m honestly really happy with how my legs responded today. It was really interesting to see how quickly they seemed to change after I was able to get myself up into the stands that I did on my own without a knee block while I was at work. I found it really interesting as my abdomen was really able to move and use himself they way he was!
I really am tired, and I know that our bodies do need rest. It’s hard to make progress without giving our bodies the rest they need.
I was also noticing how full my back is, and especially this fun tightness/ pain on the left side of my low back. These rods are wild. They make me so tight and feel so powerless. I really am trying to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.
12/12
So, I am going to expand and build off what I have been doing! I cannot believe how much more stable my legs were yesterday after I was getting up into a standing position at the desk at work! Also, the constant activation of my legs, is also really interesting! I was looking up the gait cycle again yesterday to brush up on the muscles used at each phase, I will have to study that so I can commit that to ma much better memory! It’s interesting how many muscles are firing at the same time! Makes me think about all the signals and weird “tingling” I have, and no wonder, there are so many garbled signals not making there way through!
I’m glad I got some good rest this past night, it really can stack up, not getting enough rest at times!
Today has been a day. Being up for 15hrs and for that time, being on the go non stop till bed, gets really tiring for someone who’s in my boat. I’m completely exhausted. It was 1 degree Fahrenheit today, with a windchill of -15. I drove into work today. Getting the wheelchair assembled in this cold is not exactly ideal. I was not super thrilled about that, but it was also exciting getting out in that weather. I do miss that, so very much. I really like what the cold weather can bring!
I used to (still?) really like the cold. It’s invigorating! It’s exciting. It’s different. I really like the change of seasons, and I especially like going outside when other people don’t like to, because you usually get the area to yourself. Max and I would do that, many mornings him and I would get up, get ready, and go for a run when it was this cold. I loved it, it really was great knowing that our bodies were so capable of keeping ourselves warm. Shoot, I used to go out in shorts without pants! (For the run that is!) I would only bring me, Max, my watch, headphones, a couple doggie bags, and a key. That was it. I wouldn’t even bring my phone. It was so nice to get away from it all. Now look. Shoot. Just working one day at a time to get it all back.
So I’m lying off the edge of the bed, to get my hip flexors to stretch. Boy is this quite the stretch! My left leg is very active, and both my quads right now are feeling such a significant amount of feeling through them! It’s been a really good day, for therapy-wise. But it’s been a very busy day, for Joe living-wise. It was just a day filled to the brim with activities.
My lower abdomen is extremely tight, even here lying off the edge of the bed. I have the freaking tightest rods in existence in me. This has got to be one of the most consistent means of frustration in life, I swear. I need this hip to relax. One moment at a time, and I just need to get it to simmer down.
My legs really have been feeling so much more full today! I can feel it even in bed right now. It’s insane. Every day. Just a little more.
12/13
Okay. So. I’m going to be honest. These legs are feeling really full today! When I got up last night to go to the bathroom, my glutes and quads were feeling so tired and fatigued! This was a first! I really felt like the sit to stands I was doing yesterday were my best ones ever! My laying in bed right now, and my legs are feeling so full! From my left leg, feeling my quads, through my knee, and my gastroc’s and feet! And on my right! Similarly to the left! I’m going to mess around with the standing frame today, and take the knee blocks off, and see what I can do! It’s cool because I think I can recruit Callie to come help, and operate the lift handle to try to get me fully upright with no knee blocks! That’s what I want to do today! I think I can do it! Even if I don’t get fully straight, I think I can get pretty damn close! But I don’t know until I try!
My abdomen, when I had a couple sneezes just moments ago, I feel like there weren’t any spasms there! I know I need to get moving for today, but I wanted to just jot down some notes!
So I took the knee blocks out of my standing frame, and some interesting things are happening! I freaking did it!!! I can’t believe this!!! I was able to pull myself up into a stand (maybe not all the way) on my own, with no one home, no help, no one blocks!
I feel like my other injuries are finally “healed” up enough for my body to devote its energy to the recovery of my spinal cord. My body has had a lot of shit happen to it, and it really needed some time.
These stands today have got me feeling wild. I’m taking a second to stretch out my hip flexors, since they are always in a state of tightness if I’m in the chair. I figure let’s give them and my abdomen a break before we have to go out.
I notice how when I take time throughout the day and stretch out, getting up and standing, it allows my time in the chair to be more restful. I really like not having to be in it all the time, and the time when I was up on my own, give me this interesting sense of freedom that I don’t typically get. It was a weird feeling.
What you think you’re doing vs what you’re actually doing. This is really what video can help us with!
12/14
I’ve woken up today with immense feeling through my lower abdomen, hips, pelvis, and upper legs! It’s so odd too, I just can’t sleep in. I’m up, but I don’t want to get up. I wish I could more easily fall back asleep at this time, but it’s hard. Better get up.
Okay, so these sit to stands have been making some drastic changes to my lower body. I’m doing the bent over rows in the gym, and I’m feeling my quads really activating in ways I’ve never felt before! It’s really interesting! I’m not sure what to make of it yet! What all am I going to try today? How can I work my legs but not too much?
I’m feeling my feet feel so mild and calm. What’s interesting is always being able to come to the gym and feel the different ways my body responds to the stimulation. Everywhere. Upper and lower body both.
Wow! I’m resting my hands on my thighs/ inner thighs, and I was feeling something different. I was like, “wait that’s my legs feeling my arms?!” And sure enough that’s what that was!?!
To take time to reflect on each week has helped me consolidate my thoughts and where I’m headed. It’s a long journey, but when I have smaller goals in mind, it really helps. These quads are the priority these days, and by goly I’m gonna do whatever I can to strengthen these guys. They’re making progress, and I’m happy for that. Not much else I can do but keep on working.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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