10/27
Wow! were my hips and quads tight last night and feeling the burn from yesterday!! I’m working on letting go of the hamstrings and hip flexors so that they will relax right now, and I wanted to use this time to help my mental imagery with this! Time for some research!
So the research is interesting because I am learning some interesting aspects to inhibitory signals. This has been a very interesting read! Really, the parasympathetic nervous system, a part of our central nervous system, is what is controlling that. And that’s what I need work on.
Made it to the gym to do some cardio! Hitting the punching bag hasn’t felt any more stable as it has right now! I’m really feeling my legs engaging and helping keep myself up!
Went for a walk with Callie, and tried to navigate some curb cutouts. Also tried some wheelie’s and wheelie pop ups, and extended wheelies. These have all been very difficult, especially when my abdomen doesn’t want to listen and cooperate, but this is all pretty practical skills to be working through right now. I just know that I can’t be in this chair forever, this is just a hard and slow way to go.
And I don’t know what to do. Ugh. Oof. I don’t even want to sleep. I’m sad. I’m just tired. I don’t want to have to deal with this. I’m not feeling well. This doesn’t make sense. I don’t know what to do.
10/28
Well I woke up this morning at my usual time, but 7min before my alarm. Did my business, and am stretching my hips out. My hips are being really active right now, and want to go for a morning run. I can feel it. So they are bouncing all over the place right now on the floor, as they are hanging off the bed.
It makes me a bit sad? Or something, because I would love to be doing that right now. Just getting up and moving, and moving my legs. I found that my watch recognizes very high levels of stress while I am in the wheelchair. Which makes sense because I’m just confined to the chair, for most parts of the day. I need to work on getting out. On getting up and out of it.
I realize too, that on the walk yesterday, just moving around on the sidewalk, my abdomen was getting looser and looser. At first it was so tight, hard to get any control out of him, but eventually he was listening and firing when I needed to.
I’m taking my weekly review and reading through my previous week’s notes. It’s so very easy to let ourselves slip into a pit of despair. To not see any of the good we are doing. Callie last night helped me get out of that bad spot by telling me all the productive things we did yesterday, and it really helped. I realize that there are a lot of sad moments in my life these days, and it’s hard to let them go and move past them. But for every sad moment, there is also moments of good, and success. Which I can’t forget about either. These moments are what help keep us motivated and continued on our journey.
10/29
Waking up, and my legs are feeling very engaged. I can’t help but also think how tight my hamstrings are though, so I gotta work on that. I talked to Ashley yesterday about ways to get myself stretched out more throughout the day, so I am going to work on that today.
I just did a PR right now at the gym for bent over rows! 35lb single handed rows bent over rows! That was really cool! I feel like I would need help getting the 40 pounder off the racks but I did this one! Not too bad!
I’m just really wanting to get these legs up and stand. I need to get some reps in, I think it’s a good time to change up my routine a bit here, and get some sets in! Doing some rows from a lower than horizontal position, and these are HARD.
10/30
So I’m noticing how much more I’m feeling the fullness in my legs, it’s like 3/4 of the way down my thighs, it’s really interesting. I also noticed too, that when I got on the toilet, I was able to let a toot or two go!!! Which is HUGE! I’m just doing my business and I’m noticing how significant my legs are feeling right now! They really are! I’m noticing it right up to my knees, in my quads! The glutes are feeling it, and it’s even overflowing down into my shins, calves, and feet as well!
These dang hamstrings are so tight, and I need them to start relaxing when my leg needs to go in extension. But how else can I help with this besides stretching and exercises at therapy?
So today. It’s been interesting. It’s been an interesting day. Another day to think about how grateful and how lucky we all really are. I had a conversation today with an old friend from way back. That discussion helped remind me too, that we are all going through it. Some worse than others. I don’t want that to slip my mind.
So my hips are filling out, it’s interesting how my hips are almost as wide as the mud flaps in the wheel chair now. That was definitely not the case just a couple weeks/ months ago!
And my legs are moving more in the manner they should. They are really following and moving with me!
10/31
Okay, so I had to get up this morning to go to the bathroom, and I felt such a significant difference in my legs! I feel like that is also what I am feeling right now! The fullness in the parts of my upper legs that is coming back is becoming more and more significant each day!
I was doing some research on the growth rate of nervous tissue, and the length of tissue from my injury site down to my toes, and that’s where it worked out to be about 3-4ft, depending on the person. At a growth rate of 1mm a day, this worked out to be right around 3yrs! So, if thats the case, that’s on track! I am doing okay! Just need to keep on it!
I have such a feeling of engagement everywhere down in my legs now, it’s truly incredible! My knees are really feeling it too! Oh also, I figured out a better way to transfer! Haha. It requires me to over emphasize my upper body’s position, and really go back and forth for a lean. It’s really unnerving to have this rigid of a back. My entire body is trying so hard! It’s just that even the muscles that are coming back, come back and now have to deal with these rods. Hmm. More on that later.
I’ve been busier and busier, and I need to not forget about myself! Need to make sure I am taking care of myself, because it’s really easy for me to loose sight of that when I get busy with work. Just a little bit each day to help my awareness. Let’s try to get those hamstrings stretched out more too!
I’ve just been tired. Today has been interesting because my body is feeling extremely exhausted. More and more is filling out, but he wants to move. I want to move. I just am having a hard time fitting everything in.
11/1
So, I also am tired. Why am I so tired. Why do I go through a day and not be able to do the actions I need to do to help my body? It’s really hard.
Expectation, emotion, action. They say that has alot to do with how we help our brains.
11/2
So I’m taking some time this morning. Taking this time to think about ways to help the inhibitory signals and any correlation it all has with reflexes, and babies too. It always appears to me that it is so relevant to one another.
Jake and Carley’s wedding was beautiful! These two are a great couple and example of what a cute little couple can be! Callie and I were able to have some fun! It was awfully sweet that we were invited
Dancing makes things change in my body, the moving and grooving around in the car really haas my abdomen working so very hard! It’s been a great exercise and to see how my body has responded!
My right leg was easier to get in a figure four at 1:30am! Somehow I stayed up till then?
11/3
So I am feeling a significant change happening in my legs, it’s wild. I think this past week was a great chance to try to give my body a bit of a break? But also, it wasn’t because I was so dang busy in it…. Oof.
My legs right now are sensating so much. I am feeling a fullness change from tightness to warm slightly in my right leg.
So, I’m sitting here at dinner, with no shoes on, and I’m like,” wait, my feet are cold?” And then I’m like, “wait! My feet are cold?!” It was a really weird and interesting moment!
I’m just thinking about how there was such a long period of time that I spent without looking in a mirror. It was probably a good thing. I just. Have. Such. A. Hard. Time. It doesn’t even matter what it is sometimes, I guess. Maybe it’s just trying to do something I’ve always done. Maybe it’s trying to do an activity that everyone else is able to do (drink, for instance). It makes me feel pretty bad. Makes things for a hard time. I guess that’s where I’ll end it for today. It’s okay, just hard.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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