Aug 18th – Aug 24th 2024: “Backwards Crawl”

8/18

Okay, so I’m waking up, and feeling my left shoulder doesn’t quite like being laid on so much. I think it’s partially because I haven’t been to the gym very much last week! Need to step it back up! 

My left leg is making some rather huge movements these days, while I’m laying on my side in bed. It always has me wondering where and how the signals are either getting caught up, not fully making it to the muscles, or what? I wish I could have a way to scan my body to see the actual neurological signals, making their way throughout the body to be able to troubleshoot them. Hmm maybe this is something I can look into? 

My left side of my abdomen has been making some huge changes I feel after using those astronaut shorts! They really helped my innards and hips start to really change! I need to try them again today! It’s exciting, I said last night, that was the “wiggliest and most secure” that I had ever been! so I really do think I’m loosening up, and getting stronger! I really think it’s all been helping! 

I know that I can keep it up, I need to work these butt muscles! I was doing some really quick math with the help from AI, trying to understand how many contractions someone does throughout the day, this was what I found: 

For someone who is moderately active and runs 2 miles a day, let’s estimate the average number of leg muscle contractions:

1. **Running**:

   – **Steps per Mile**: The average person takes about 2,000 steps per mile when running.

   – **Running Steps**: For a 2-mile run, that’s approximately 4,000 steps.

   – **Muscle Contractions**: Since each step involves multiple muscle contractions (quadriceps, hamstrings, calves), this results in thousands of contractions just during the run.

2. **Walking/Standing**:

   – **Daily Steps**: A moderately active person might take around 6,000 to 8,000 additional steps in a day.

   – **Muscle Contractions**: This adds thousands more contractions as walking also involves repetitive use of the leg muscles.

3. **Other Activities**:

   – Other daily activities (sitting, standing, bending, etc.) add more contractions, though these are less frequent compared to walking or running.

### Total Estimate:

– **Running Contractions**: ~4,000 steps = 8,000 to 12,000 contractions (considering multiple muscle activations per step).

– **Daily Walking/Standing Contractions**: ~6,000 to 8,000 steps = 12,000 to 16,000 contractions.

– **Other Activities**: A few thousand contractions.

**Total**: Approximately 20,000 to 30,000 leg muscle contractions daily.

This estimate provides a rough range based on moderate activity and daily running. So this was what I was looking for! This was a huge amount of contractions! And it’s really rather impressive when you stop and think about it too! This is really only for the leg muscles! Now try to think about that for your arms, hands, and rest of your body! 

I think this just goes back to the point I made about quantity over quality, I suppose?

Well, rest days are tough. It’s simultaneously a day for me to “relax” but it’s also a day that the lack of activity can get me tight. And when I get tight, I start to have a really hard time overall. So, it’s a balance I’m working to strike that always feels like an uphill battle. I’m working to give myself the rest that I need, but also keeping my body moving so I don’t get too tight? Does that make sense? 

8/20

I made it to the Urologist! He was actually nice, and very helpful! But this journey to and from Madison was intense! Sitting in traffic on our way back during rush hour almost doubled our transit time, yuck.

8/21

I woke up sick with a scratchy sore throat. Not exactly what was going for today. The amount of tightness in my legs right now is tremendously significant. I got down on the floor to do the usual, and it just felt like I was stuck in this giant pit of muck. Everything was hard to do, and it felt like it took forever to crawl over here! 

8/22

Therapy on the treadmill felt different today! I think it went really well!

Work is busy as heck

Had a nice evening conversation with mom and dad

Trying to shake this odd stuffy nose…

8/23

These are my legs. This is my body. I get to control them when I want them to relax, when I want them to contract. To send more and more excitatory and inhibitory signals is what I am trying to do! So when I was up in the standing frame last night even, trying to get my body as straight and tall as I can, is really important. 

Giving myself an extra 30-40min of sleep I think is really helping me! I wake up much more refreshed. I move around so much better in this bed, it’s wild! 

I have to be consistent. Just a little bit every day. When I was talking to dad, he has said the same thing about John’s house. That if they can get a little bit done each day, he feels good about it. They are working their butts off. They’ve been at it almost everyday since April, working full time jobs and then spending their free time working on the home renovation. It’s amazing to be able to check in with them and track the progress! I just wish I could help. I really do. Maybe when we plan the trip to visit the new baby, I can? It’ll be a busy time, so I am not sure.

I guess, we are all cut from the same cloth, my family and I. They really are working round the clock, just how I have been. And I’m so proud of them, for doing work that most folks wouldn’t even think to consider! It’s just one thing doing it during the day, and getting paid to do it, but then after work, on your weekends, to spend your whole summer working on this?! That’s a different ball game, a different playing field. 

I understand that some people like to tackle home renovations, they do it when they have the time, or one room at a time. But the whole entire house?! This has been a huge undertaking! I’m really proud of those guys. I know that every day they are working on that house, I need to be working too. This past week even, after dad left John’s he had called me. When he did, turns out I was at the gym hitting the heavy bag and lifting weights! I think it was about 8PM local time, so he was just leaving around 9PM their time. That’s about the earliest he will leave. Him and I both are working far past the hours most folks seem to. I’m proud to say that we both are.

I guess what I’m saying is that we are all so capable of accomplishing so much. We all have the capacity to work together and work on something more. I know that I don’t always have a lot to show for my work, but I’m working every day. Even if it means I can get myself to work, therapy, home, all by myself.

I was talking to Norman, my local crossing guard whom I befriended on the job site across from therapy. He’s been a real delight to chat with, and I’m glad to have become friends with him! But he did say that I’m the only one he sees in a chair like mine, get themselves in and out of the car like how I do, and drive themselves to therapy. Other folks do, but they are walking right now, may have had a stroke, and more function. 

But when he said that, I do have to be willing to accept the truth that I am doing a lot. Even though I need to keep going and focusing, I’m working everyday, and trying. And also am doing a lot. It’s so much sometimes, and I do get overwhelmed, but I know that small victories do add up. 

8/24

Wow. Something incredible happened this morning, and I’m feeling it throughout the day! This was wild, because it was exactly what Joni and I had discussed, and what I was thinking earlier in the week! Relaxation. Slowing down, letting go. I need the muscles in my legs to do that. And what’s crazy is that at 4am, lying awake for what felt like forever, I was actually doing this!