Aug 11th – Aug 17th 2024: “Quantity Over Quality, Practice Makes Perfect”

8/11

Okay, so I’m not really sure why I was so tired today, but boy was I. Goodness I’m glad to have a nice recovery day!!

I’m brushing my teeth standing up in the standing frame, and it’s interesting because I haven’t brushed my teeth and spit in a cup in what feels like forever. That was a daily occurrence for me, since I didn’t have the best sink access… it’s wild having these thoughts, where I realize that something I was doing was so very foreign from most folks every day. It’s an interesting perspective, to say the least. I simultaneously miss that time, and am glad I’m working to move on and through that time as well. I miss it because of the people I was with, and I’m glad I am past it because it was so hard. My body was rough.

I am trying each and every day. I was noticing how much I was feeling through my feet after taking the astronaut pants off!!?! So when I was crawling backwards to get back over by the wheelchair, to get myself back in, I was feeling how much different my feet were feeling, when I was pushing through my feet to go backwards! I could feel that! Instead of just the pins and needles, there was something more! And it was the first time ever I had really felt something like that in my feet!!

I’m noticing how engaged my feet, legs, butt, and hips are feeling up in the standing frame right now! I really need to make sure I am focusing on my breath work, and collecting long, slow, deep breaths while I’m up here. Funny, how our priorities in life change when there’s such a big life event that takes place. 

I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately, and how I really am fully invested into my recovery. I know how difficult this is, and how easy it would be to give up, but I am refusing to let myself do that! 

Quantity over quality. I really do feel like that’s the saying I have been searching for in all of this! It’s honestly been feeling more and more true. The more situations I put my body in, the more movements I experience, any and all ways to get my legs moving, I feel them moving slowly more, and more! 

8/12

Wow.. well, I really didn’t want to be at work as late as I was. That was not ideal. I ended up sitting in the chair for too long, and didn’t get stretched out nearly enough. 

I’m on the floor and it’s 9:06pm. My legs have responded really well to the crawling session let’s just not make this a happen of waiting till now to do it!!

8/13

WOW! Something amazing happened when I went to get on the floor at 6:45 this morning! My right leg straightened out and dropped my knee to help me get onto the floor!!! I’m really noticing how engaged my legs are feeling when I’m down here on the floor! The lower parts of my legs are really making some great strides to being able to help support themselves! It’s really cool! They are really pushing out through my toes, and I’m really feeling so much in my knees, quads, glutes, gastroc’s, and feet!!

I’m at the gym right now, worked, went to therapy, and am now at the gym! The amount of feelings right now is intense! I’m feeling so much right now! My legs worked so hard at therapy! They are really trying to get loosened up and stretched out! I’m really glad with how therapy went today, always a lot to discuss and a lot to work on! Those two hours go by quick! 

I’m really trying to make sure I stay focused. There’s so much to work on now throughout the day. Not only do I want to make sure I am giving the guys and the projects my help, I need to also give myself any and all fighting chance I can. 

8/14

No therapy today, but still really pooped. Trying to take it easy today and get a good rest day in!

8/15

Okay, so. I feel wild right now. My low back is feeling some really intense feelings! It’s really there! Therapy today turned out to be a great day!  I got on the FES bike, and I haven’t done that in quite some time! 

The adductors are seemingly trying to relax, which is great as well! I honestly would love to get my hamstrings stretched and loosened and engaged to the point where I don’t need Botox for them. I am not sure how or what that would take. But they need to back it off a little bit (or my other muscles catch up?) I’m using the theragun on my hips and abs right now, my body really needs to relax in this area. 

So much going on these days, my legs have been making some massive strides, and I need to keep it up! Trying to get on the floor earlier was a big ole mistake. I had so much pent up gas, it was insane! I really don’t like that feeling always of being stuffed, and then it spreading to every inch of my body as this giant source of pain. Gross. The worst. 

So at therapy today Rose and I spoke about a bunch of changes in my body, plus some other ways to help maximize my time here! It was a good discussion!

8/17

So, I can feel it. The frustration and hopelessness trying to creep in. I’m really not feeling it today. And it’s showing. Just the constant onslaught of planning and needing to keep things in order. It’s wild and weird. I’m not exactly thrilled to always having to do this, but I guess it’s better than the alternative. 

It’s just really hard. It’s hard feeling this way and feeling helpless, feeling like there isn’t anything I can do to help this mood that I am in. But I also know there are a few things I can do that help me. That help me feel more useful. 

Made it to the party, played some chess, visited, and some food. Success!

I’ll tell ya what, this had to be some of the most stretched out I have ever felt in my entire body! I’m sure that the gummy helped loosen me up, and the theragun while in the standing frame did wonders!!!

I was so surprised by how straight and relaxed my legs got! This has got to be the flattest they have ever been while I’ve been supine before! This is amazing! They aren’t spamming and tingling like crazy!

Wow! This activity I did this morning was the first one that showed up on the garmin app as JUST MY LEGS! It’s cool getting this feedback!

Just thinking about all of this, and I will have to keep taking it one day at a time. Getting my body to relax has been hard, and I need to keep on it! Just for every exercise I need to do, I need another for relaxing it. Hopefully there will be more to expand on this idea? Just one day at a time. you got this.