July 7th – July 13th 2024: “The More You Learn, The More You CAN Learn”

7/7

Okay, today has been a good day. I have felt like I haven’t been writing a lot, and it’s got me all stressed out. I think it’s been interesting, I’ve been saying a lot, “the more you learn, the more you can learn” and I feel as though I can apply this to so many aspects of my life right now. Which is probably why I haven’t been able to make as much time for writing. The more you do any particular activity, the more your brain wants to be able to do those activities. So for me, reading, crawling, working out, hitting the heavy bag, playing chess, any mind and body stimulating activity, I really have been craving to do, more and more. I really have been trying to enjoy this process. Which is probably why I haven’t scrolled thru the internet in quite a while, or made time for some of those activities that are easy to take the time away from us. 

I really have been working hard everyday, even trying to figure out how to make the most of my “rest” days. Turns out, if I don’t move my legs for about half of the day, they start to get really tight. My body (as well as my mind) has been really liking these 4-a-day’s. By working out 4x a day, getting up and down out of the chair twice, and limiting the time on my butt, I am moving my legs around so much more! Okay I need to run and get to my meditation for a bit, my legs and body need that before some sleep. 

Today was the day I attempted to crawl up some steps!!!! It didn’t go as well as I hoped for, but to be honest, I’m really glad I tried! It’s still a start! I know I have to start somewhere, and although I couldn’t lift my leg onto the first step, I still got down there, in the middle of the hallway, and tried! I’m glad for that at least! So hopefully next time I will do maybe a step or two!

7/8

Okay, taking a moment to collect my thoughts after the heavy bag! WOW! This feels amazing! I’m definitely holding myself upright so much better!!

Back at the gym just 30min after the heavy bag! And I’m taking it easy and light and I’m noticing something as I’m focusing on my core and balance. The more I move my arms outside of my mid-plane, the better and better I am getting at holding myself up!

7/9

I am really feeling my glutes working hard to fight the tight hip flexors. I tried really hard last night to tell myself and my body that it really does enjoy being upright! It’s a position that feels so good, and not tight and hard! Im really working to control these parts of my body that need this extra help and attention! I know this hip flexor is going to be doing much better when my glutes are really kicking their butt in gear!

I’m just sitting here right now and collecting my thoughts, trying to make sure that I keep myself focused on what I’m doing but also getting ready to get back to work. It’s wild, it’s so weird July 15th snuck up on me really quick. It’s going to be an interesting but still very exciting transition back to work. I’m not scared or worried in the slightest about getting back to work, just making sure I can keep my body as active as I need to be! 

I really had a good day of it all yesterday, and my legs are feeling very much more engaged. It’s good that I’m working towards getting into more kneeling positions and working these glutes and quads more and more everyday! 

7/10

Awareness. 

Today was a pretty good day. I got up and was in the standing frame by 8:04am. I was ready to drive myself to therapy at 9!

Good conversations with Greg today at therapy, he really is also just trying to make it. It’s hard sometimes for us to see the progress we are making, and I didn’t want him to get discouraged. He’s a great guy, hope he continues to have a good recovery!

Good therapy with Joni and Ashley!

7/11

Wow, today has been a day. I’m pretty glad to be able to say that. I’m sitting right now waiting for Ian to come to the gym with me. 

I ended up going to Jones’ Island to take some pictures of the big ocean going freighter that I got wind of from the boat app! I called up John and we decided to make time to get out and take some pictures before we get back to work and we won’t have time for these shenanigans! It was great!

It was all great until I took a spill….. ended up falling forwards and out of the chair! Good thing I was there with John, and my stool was in the car nearby so I could get myself back up! Im glad I was able to remain cool, calm, and collected. There was a nice fella there who was also a boat nerd, that was offering help as well. Really nice to know folks will help when stuff like this happens.

It was great taking time away from it all and getting to talk to John about everything, the recovery, his perspectives and insights, and thoughts about everything before him and I both go back to work. It was really nice to get lunch with him and talk over it all. It’s always crazy how much time passes before you can see someone again, so I’m glad that I was able to catch up. He has so much insight to gain from, he’s lived quite a bit of life to know a thing or two. Spending the time he has overseas really widens your perspective on it all.

We really needed a day like that, out in the open sun and talking about these freighters, and getting our mind off everything else. It was cool to learn about the fact that corn from Wisconsin was being sold and freighted over seas to Belfast, Ireland for the manufacturing of ethanol?! Crazy to think that it is cheaper to buy corn in Wisconsin, and freight it all the way across the Atlantic Ocean to Ireland! It’s really fascinating!

So this thing in my neck has been bugging the crap out of me. Turns out the dissolvable suture didn’t do that. It just kept getting caught on my collar every time I would move my neck! It was the worst! I was hoping the dermatologist would have taken it out, but he didn’t. Instead he just popped the giant puss ball it had formed.

So when I got home, that’s when it got serious. I decided to do it. I asked Callie to attempt to pull it out. So without any apprehension, she decided she would do it! 2 seconds later, and with no resistance at all, it came out! Great relief at last!

7/12

Recreating. Not a recovery. That’s what I’ve been telling everyone that is what is happening to me. It’s because it’s true! I mean, it is a little bit of both, but for our central nervous system, I am quite literally recreating the connections! It’s wild to think that is happening, and I’m able to do that, but each day I need to keep up with the progress and keep track of it all! Slowly but surely, I’m trying at it.

7/13

So, it’s crazy to think just now that as I sneezed, and as I yawn, these used to both be movements that I dreaded. I never wanted them to happen! I would do anything possible, not to let a sneeze out or to not have to yawn so deeply. It sucked. It wasn’t fun. It hurt. A lot. Sometimes I have a hard time putting words to how much I would dread having some of those regular bodily experiences that I just stopped cringing to do a couple moments ago. I was thinking about that perspective I had from when my body was really early on in its recovery. I can’t help but keep that perspective these days, because it helps me stay focused on the goal at hand. Don’t let your former self down, Joe!

Right now, I’m sitting here with a warm compress on my eye at six in the morning on a Saturday. Not exactly sleeping in. Just always like this. It’s just hard getting a break sometimes. I’m not sure what this all has to mean, but it’s a big reason why I have to work hard every day. 

By putting forth some effort each day, trying new things at the gym, therapy, the floor, the standing frame, I give myself the chance to do something different and hopefully something good, too. It’s really hard existing when everything is hard and my body doesn’t want to cooperate. But up here in my head, I’m in charge. My brain is still here. I’m still Joe. I know what I’m capable of. 

I’m thinking so much these days. And I realize that it’s really important for me not to loose sight of this perspective that I have. I need to remained focused on what I am doing. No one else but me is going to help continuously push me through each day. I know I need to wake up and approach things as open as the last. I know this is hard, and I need to make sure I’m doing everything in my power to keep on this track. 

So much of life has had to take a pause for what happened. Not very often do we get ripped out of society, laid in a hospital bed, and then sent out into the world with no instruction booklet on what to do. Yeah, I’ve had a lot of help. But for every piece of help I’ve had, I’ve also had to encounter a problem that I can’t just “google”. It’s crazy. This has been one of the most life altering experiences that could happen to almost anyone, anywhere, at anytime. 

Welp, it happened. I had to ask for an emergency help in the gym. I tried to stand up while in the chair and my leg kicked out and down I went. I’m okay though….

It’s crazy what’s about to happen next week, it really is. My mind has been spinning in so many directions. 

Relaxation, it’s something I need to work on!

Inhalation and exhalation, these movements are so intertwined with our bodily movements, I really need to work on incorporating them into my daily living.

So the gym today was light. But focused. I really was working on my breath work, and I was noticing some huge changes! I seriously can lift a good deal more with these well timed breaths! Anyways, it’s been a long week. Here’s to the next.