6/23
I feel like the amount of nutrients, B vitamins, antioxidants and minerals is pretty okay for my diet. I think I need to try to incorporate some more essential fatty acids, as they are essential for maintaining and improving glial, myelin sheath, and neuronal health. At least that what’s my research is showing! It’s hard to say exactly where any of my nutrient levels are because you can’t realistically get blood drawn each week, but you sure can monitor the food that goes in your body!
In an effort to always be helping my nerve health, I’m always looking for ways to improve what I’m doing! and I do think that the fatty acids is next on my list of things to tackle in my diet. What’s interesting is I can definitely ramp up the amount of nuts, walnuts, sunflower seeds, and some more snack nuts that are loaded with them! I know getting fish in the kitchen is going to be tricky, as that’s not Callie’s favorite, by any means…… but I know that the nuts are simple and effective!
Wow! I really am trying to act on the urges I am getting to get down here on the floor and crawl! I actually did a “down-back-down” lap without stopping, and even managed to get my right leg to kick back, and lift up in the air!!! I told Callie how high it went! It was amazing to see that!
It was a good session up in the standing frame! Played some chess with a fella in Egypt on Chess.com, did some electrical stimulation, the direct spinal stimulation on my lower thoracic levels, and have been doing this relatively newer exercise. I have been “marching in place” or at least that’s what I call it? It’s me contracting my glutes and quads, and trying to stand up straighter and rely less and less on the chest support. I am really feeling my legs activating! Something that started as a glimmer of hope in my eyes while trying this, has definitely been leading into my glutes very much actually contracting! They aren’t doing much at this very moment, but it’s 9:30 at night and they are firing away still! This has to be good to do! I figure, if I am working to heal my neurological side, the actual motor neurons, as well as strengthening the muscles themselves, and increasing their range of motion, sending more voluntary contractions has to help. To try this and to be feeling more contractions in my legs and muscles must mean that more signals are making their way through!
I am feeling such a significant amount through my upper and lower legs, as well as the beds of my feet. It’s been so very interesting, it’s really hard to try and quantify sometimes, but they are there! More significant than ever! Im very excited to
Get back to therapy this upcoming week! I have lots to be doing!
6/24
Okay, so about blocking the days out… let’s get working on that! It’s been a good change back to feeling good while waking up. I don’t sleep super well still, because of this neck, but I’m managing pretty well!
Ummmm what…… what did I just notice???????? WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!
THIS WAS WILD!!
I’m pretty sure I just felt myself press in and release pressure into the footplate of the wheelchair! Like my feet were PUSHING
So, there’s so many thoughts rushing thru my head I had to talk about this with Callie, and then called Schmüle and told him what was going on! This is crazy! I’m absolutely ecstatic for what is happening in my body!
So, what happened was, I was wrapping up my workout. I did the last set of this weird back exercise where I was trying to “pull up with arms locked out” from my shoulders and back, I think they’re called “Forward Raises” or something. My abdomen could barely hold me up on the lowest setting on the cable machine. What went on from there is a series of partial reps of me supporting my trunk and trying to lift through bar from the ground. This went on for 4 sets and I tried to do higher reps! It was cool! Nothing too crazy except I figured this would be slow progress for a workout I’m trying to do for the first time.
When I went over to the Smith Machine and lined up to do my stretches, this is when things started to get interesting! After I did my overhead stretch and then stretched my arms out to the support beams and leaned forward to get a deeper stretch in my chest and arms. This is when I started to notice something different. as I was doing the stretch and I was letting myself fall deeper and deeper into the stretch this is when I tried something different. This is what I was like, “wait, I can probably release and let my legs relax a little bit so that I can fall deeper into the stretch. Let me try that.” And so I did. my legs actually started to relax and this was mind-boggling! When I was sitting there and doing this, I had to stop and try to sit myself back up and then let my legs relax again to validate that this was actually happening and that this was real! And it was! I was getting my legs to relax! And I was getting to feel a very, very different feeling in my feet! This is when my had to call Callie over!
So what I had her help me with was trying to do some reps, of a modified “deadlift” we will call it, where I’m trying to lean forward and then sit myself up and back up against the backrest without using my hands. So I give it to a go a couple times. And there’s a little bit of discussion between us on what muscles are firing! And then I take a deep breath and then a big exhale, and I am able to get myself about halfway up! I was pushing through my feet! It was happening!
It was really crazy feeling how my feet were changing in sensations in real time and how the sensation of them being there and pushing through my footplate was actually happening!
6/25
So, I really am feeling some significant difference in my motor control by doing things consistently. Just giving my body and brain more signals has really been helping.
I’m pooped and did a few things today! I definitely tried to get some extra rest this morning though.
I’m so tired, I’m not even sure if I should even try to talk about my brain right now, I’m cooked! Going to the gym twice in a day will do that to you! I was able to get down there and hit the heavy bag and then do my regular routine! Time for some rest!
6/26
So, I had an interesting thought this morning. I was thinking about how the Garmin watch I wear during workouts gives me information on what muscles are activated during the workout, and interestingly enough, it “guesses” pretty accurately? Also, what’s interesting, is somehow it’s “guessing” that I am using parts of my legs as well during specific exercises, especially during back day, interesting?
Well, I think it’s settled! I’m going to be doing my mental practice (MP) exercises while I get in the standing frame at night! Just a nice short little session!
Okay, so it’s kinda hard to keep up on all the things that we might want to accomplish in a day. If we are being honest, this is always one of the big things that we all struggle with! I really am glad that I am working through the items I am trying to work on, and giving myself time to do them! I know this is crunch time, to build up good habits, and work on the things I know I need to do!
Just did my MP exercise, and it really helps knowing that my mindfulness is pretty okay during these moments. I just did that exercise up in the standing frame, so let’s see how it goes! I know I need to do this almost everyday to see results! Interesting too, how the areas of my left leg are sweaty in different spots as well? Interesting!
Wow! I feel like Mike Wazowski, having to leave sticky notes around all over the place to remind me of the little (but important) things I need to do!
Feeling really good that I made it over to Jake’s! My legs are really trying, and the kneel bouldering (knouldering) has been getting better with each partial step!!
6/27
I’m trying to think of the things I was talking/ doing this morning….. and it’s finally come back! So, I was talking about how I decided to remove the pillow while I was laying in bed and I was getting a better stretch, and how I was really feeling some significant changes in my sleeping and body while I was doing this!
Okay, made it to and from Summerfest on my own, check! This was wild! I managed to get around and do it all on my own, chair breakdown and all!
I’m not going to lie though, it was nice being there, around my coworkers and friends. But it was also the first time that I had been out in a giant group setting in public like that. And to be honest, it felt pretty lame to be at waist height, sitting height from everyone. It wasn’t a great feeling, I really hate that. It’s so tough, because I just want to get up and stretch and have this be all over. But there I sit for now.
We had Joey and Kaitlyn over for dinner! And they had a great idea with the bar on the wall for the sideways shuffle! Jake and I will have to work on that!
6/28
Diaphragmatic breathing while laying on stomach has been helping my hip flexor spasms so much! This has been a huge revelation to what I’m working on! It feels really good to not have to be fighting that without a solid defense!
It’s really interesting getting up in the morning and getting in the bathroom and hopping on the toilet. It’s always such a journey. I’m always using this time to see and feel all the new sensations and they ways my legs want to move. The transfer on the toilet is always a little bit different, and it sometimes is a really hard time to get down there because my legs are activating in ways I haven’t noticed or felt before! So at the same time, I am struggling through my movements, but I also am so happy to be feeling my legs trying to help and hold me up!
6/29
So, I can hold it. I can hold it. I can hold it. I can hold it. It’s okay. You can. This is YOUR body! This is not something that you do not have control over. You can decide that this is okay. I know it. I know it. I know it. This is so hard. My legs are tingly and weird, my belly is rumbling, my behind is rippin’ and rearing’ to go!!!
My body feels extremely weird, and it’s hard to ignore. This is one of these moments where I am focusing on my breath, and trying to slow down. My headache doesn’t feel so good tho. My belly is feeling so goofy.
I can do this though. My mind is stronger. This isn’t a physical problem. I just really need to go number 2. Unfortunately, the real physical symptoms are 100% real and I am actively working on fighting those. So I’m in a weird spot where I’m fighting something very real, but I know I have the capacity to work on this.
I’m getting tired now. my brain is not wanting to deal with all of this right now.
Turns out I fell asleep. Who would have thought? I’m really glad to have made it to the park, even if it was for a nice short jaunt! Just one day at a time, more movement each time, and more engagement is what I’m feeling!
Today is Pie Day, and I’m really excited to make a pie with Callie! This is going to be a great apple pie! Ian is coming over too, and we are going to play some chess!
I’m really happy with how this week went after having such a rough week, right before this. It was really nice to know that I am moving more and getting back to it! Slow down, focusing on my breath, focusing on the things I can control right now has been very important to me. I know that it’s been helping, and feeling all these changes has been wonderful as well. I’m pretty grateful being here still, and working on this one day at time.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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