April 21st – April 27th 2024: Early Stages of Crawling

4/21

If I want to get outside and go for a walk with my dog Max, then I have to be doing what I’m doing. Try to enjoy this process is really tricky when it takes so much effort just to crawl across the bedroom floor. But it’s good though! I’m actually moving! I’m trying to differentiate the stiffness in my legs from activation in my legs. Like right now they’re actually activating moving but when I’m just sitting in the chair, it feels like they’re just stiff. that’s the thing I just need to move!

Reading this new book has got me pretty motivated to be doing what I’m doing. Laying on the ground and taking a second to right in between breaks is actually not so bad. My legs are getting fatigued pretty quickly, so I figured I just got a move em! It’s actually really nice to be moving my legs around without the braces on!

OK, better get back to it !

And I actually think that I actually think that I know that I’m gonna get back walking like I woke up this morning and I realized that wow yeah I need based on the things that I’m reading in this book and what you and I are doing at home and how much work I’m doing therapy. Try to actually get a good schedule together. These are all going to be helping me to be able to get myself back walking This is definitely new chapter Recovery and I realize that like this has taken a long time to realize had to think about.

I’m just really happy for Callie. She’s really there for me. It’s hard to describe sometimes, but I don’t know where I would be without her. She means an awful lot to me.

4/22

Made it to therapy at 9am!!

Got crawling today too! I’m navigating these knee pad options, because I need to make sure that I can find ones that actually work. These are too big and bulky, and are rotating on my knees when I’m using them, so I don’t know if they are gonna work long term.

I am not sure exactly what options I have for the knee pads at this times but I need to make sure I’m trying to get on the floor everyday and testing them out!

Well, this is interesting being so busy today that I wasn’t able to take much for notes! But I’m okay with that. Sometimes I need to have days where I just am busy in the moments, and don’t have be worrying too much about everything else. My body feels better and better everyday.

4/23

Woke up with so many intense feelings in my legs! It’s great to know that I’m working on their strength. It’s a really interesting thing, to realize that I DO feel my legs, it’s now just a matter of getting walking better!

So this morning was really good! I ended up getting up at a reasonable time taking a shower, eating breakfast, reading a bit of the book, stretching, and now crawling! The crawling I did just now was so good!!! I did two laps in the bedroom! The farthest to date! I really need some decent knee pads to get myself moving around more!

I know I can only get up from that one spot by the bed, but I’m working to make sure I could hopefully do it in more than one place! I noticed too, that when I was crawling, I started to hit my hands harder on the ground… and that was causing my legs to move in a reciprocal pattern better?

I got in the standing frame, ate breakfast up there, read, and am now down on the floor! I don’t feel almost any tingling in my butt right now! It’s crazy to think that my legs and everything are getting so much sensation back! So they literally are telling me to get off my butt! Maybe stretching out my sciatic nerve does really help! That thing is sooo big, I was alarmed when I learned how large that nerve bundle really is!

I’ve been having such an amazing time reading about neuroplasticity, and all the amazing things that our body is truly capable of! Our mind is able to rewire connections based on so many factors! And we never stop learning!

The reciprocal motion of crawling, and the motion of hitting the ground hard with my hands was helping my legs make a movement forward. After I was going for a bit, I started to kinda hit the ground, and I noticed something. That when I was really hitting the ground, I was able to advance my opposite leg forward more easily. It was almost like I was “tapping in” to my Gait Cycle that’s hardwired into me.

4/24

So, the cross pattern movements. That’s what I’m doing when I’m crawling, and this is super important for later learning! There’s Really something to it, the whole connection that I’m seeing with babies/ toddlers.

Hmm, I’m talking to John, and I’m realizing a lot of things right now. I also had a conversation with Laura about some of Eloise’s development, and I can’t seem to draw the connection between babies and folks with Spinal Cord Injuries.

I’m antsy, I’m gonna get on the ground because I have all this energy, and don’t know what to do with it! My head is going in a million different directions right now, and it all is pointing to crawling.

Wow, wow, wow, and wow. Just wow. This was an absolutely wild time. I’ve never done anything like this, and I had a pretty incredible time doing this! I’ve never crawled this much, done this much my myself, spent this much time on the floor, tried to get myself off the floor this many times without help, or anything! These were all new things! I can’t believe it!

My legs and everything had simmered down so much! I really only felt a bit of a tingle in my right butt cheek, and the bottom of my feet!

This was incredible, I had done 2-1/2 laps of crawling in my little circuit, and then had gotten myself up into the chair for the first time by myself! I had John on the phone with me to help coach me thru it, and I really freaking helped! All this crawling around is helping me trust my legs more and more!

4/26

I asked Callie to marry me! This whole experience has been just that. Flippin crazy. I’m really fortunate to know that I have her, and have so much to be thankful for with her. She really understands me, and helps me so much with everything that goes on in my head. It’s a wonder to me sometimes, how she puts up with all of this. I know that I talk so much, and it’s amazing to know how supportive and attentive she is. She really loves me, for just Joe. For just being me. I don’t have to filter or try to say anything in the right way for her. Or if a topic is complicated or difficult, she’s always understanding. Her intelligence is so very appreciated, especially when I need help working through something.

I talk to therapist once a month, and it’s crazy how much information I’m able to work through before I even see her with Callie.

She really is something. And someone who cares so deeply for others. I’m really just fortunate we met when we did, and she’s stuck around and been there for me. We’ve been through so much, but I can only see that things can get better from here.

4/27

It’s momma’s birthday! been a wild time today! We went out for drinks out at the park, went for a little walk, and told all the siblings about the engagement!! It’s been a very nice trip, having her and dad come and visit! I really love her, and I’m glad I got to spend her birthday with her! It feels like it’s been so long since I got to do that!

There’s something really special about being able to spend more time with my folks, and it’s quality time too. She’s been there so much for us, it’s the least that I can do, is try and open up and be there for her.

I hope she had fun at the harbor house! I sure did, and the food was delicious!!