Dec 24th
What’s crazy is going to church and seeing my mother. Seeing her hands, and thinking about what they signify. Like, I teared up just now just thinking about them. People go on a huge rant about god and what that means to them, but don’t see the amazing things that the ones around us do for us every single day.
Like, if I looked at everyone’s hands in this church, and compared em to my mothers, there wouldn’t be as much love poured out over the years, compared to so many people, besides herself. She really is there for everyone else besides herself. Like, those hands have seen so much hardship, been there for so much.
She’s one of the few people who really actually knows what all of this means to me. And she didn’t go thru this all from my point of view.
Like, that’s really what this is all about. The point that everyone sometimes seems to miss. That interconnectedness. Sure, it tries to touch in it, but really, that’s what is happening. All these historical figures, like Muhammad, Abraham, Jesus, Ghandi, Buddha, they all are saying this same thing. They are all reminders to us. To help us all remember what the heck we are all trying to do here.
Like, these topics being said by all of them isn’t a surprise that they are all saying some the same things. They all want others to understand that it’s not all about us. It’s really about an interconnectedness that we haven’t figured out, but we know and see what works around us.
Like, my mother is one of the most admirable, honest, loving people on this freaking planet. Rarely does she take a moment to not be there for anyone else, she’s so selfless. and I see all the love that pours out from here hands.
Seeing those cracked and loving hands makes me legitimately cry, because they mean so much to me. There’s not another thing out there in this world that physically represents so much love besides her hands🥲.
The amount that I care about that lady and everything she’s seen me have to do, go thru, and all the help that she’s so gracefully helped me with, down to the last freaking bucket bath out there, shows how so much love for another person that rarely ever in someone’s life, will others get to see how much love someone can give.
I’m forever grateful for knowing that, and knowing that we all can be like that, just one day at a time, just like her. It just takes small actions each day to help and show others that same thing.
Dec 25th
Wow, being back at my parents place really puts things into perspective! What a wonderful day to spend with the family still even if some things are so hard!
Dec 28th
So, taking time off daily journaling is a wild thing. I take 3-4 days off and I already feel like I’ve let the whole world pass me by. Time to get back to it!
E-stim, stretching, standing, eating, cooking, hello fresh, therapy, time with Callie, things to do with Callie! Shoot! It’s a lot to think about and to try and process!
Dec 30th
Well, it’s 3:48am. Turns out it’s still tricky to sleep, but it’s cuz I’m so dang stiff! I gotta get up and moving as much as possible! This spinal cord injury can’t always be this way!
This UTI, sore shoulders, sore throat, stuffy nose, and everything is bugging me. I can’t even breathe thru my nose so I can’t even do that!
It’s been a pretty difficult night. And I’ve been putting off writing way too long. No more, not today. You can do this!! You are moving things like never before! You just got really tight from this holiday, and it’s not the time for you to be slowing down!
Also, don’t be afraid to hug Callie! she’s been great, and you don’t have to feel bad. Stuffs really hard, and she’s here for you. Don’t worry! Don’t worry so much! Slow the heck back down!
The sensations are wild, and you gotta use the muscles as much as possible!! You got it! You can do it! This is a minor hiccup in an otherwise long journey! Don’t slow down now!!
Okay, you’re doing it. Back at it. One day at a time.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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