So I remember waking up, in the still darkness of the room, having a hard time being able to breathe. It was hard to get air in, and I couldn’t move my body in any way to find any relief. This was also at a time when I would have to call/ holler to the momma to come and help me roll over throughout the night. I wasn’t able to do that yet, at this time. needles to say, I was in rough shape.
It sucked, I was moaning, groaning, and wheezing. Mom was so worried, and her and I didn’t know what to do. So she called the ambulance. They came. And I was worried, I didn’t want to go back in an ambulance, or in a hospital. I was not excited about this. But I also couldn’t breathe. I was gasping and in so much pain. I really did not want to go back to the hospital, let alone a different one than the rehab hospital I was in for the past couple months.
So some time passed, until the ambulance came. The Ray twp firefighters came first, but they weren’t able to transport me. So they had to call in extra help. I remember them having to figure out how to get me out of my parents bedroom, since the hallways were too narrow for a traditional stretcher. Earl Schwark, from church, was the first to show up. It was nice to see a familiar face. He wasn’t able to do anything for me, and so they called in additional support. They had to get me in a sling/ and hand carried me in this tarp like device until I was out of the house, and they could put me in the stretcher. Boy did that suck. It felt weird. It’s really unsettling, to feel yourself having to be moved through space in such a foreign way. I wasn’t a fan.
They got me in the ambulance, and then they hooked up an IV. That’s when they gave me a dose of ketamine. That was crazy because that was such a relief, I had thought after they did that, that I should be fine? But it was crazy how short lived that feeling was. That ambulance ride was not comfortable at all, my chest was so tender! Everything hurt. Like, everything.
When I got to the hospital, they had me in a waiting area for people that came off the ambulance. I remember lying there, and just wheezing and feeling so much pain. It was insane. I remember laying there, and just waiting for some relief. It was insane. I was just trying to count, trying to do anything. They gave me a dose of morphine while I was lying there, and I don’t even think 10min went by, and my chest was just throbbing. I was like, “if morphine isn’t doing anything for me, I gotta be in some serious pain”. I had no idea what it was that was bugging me, and neither did they. It was at the start of all this, I was just tossing and turning and not knowing what to do.
Fortunately, Jessie came by to sit with me. I remember her coming over and I was just trying to keep it together, as best as I could. It was awful. I’m really glad she stayed with me, before mom was able to gather everything she needed to before she left home. This was some of the most extreme agony I have ever experienced in my life. Even the morphine wasn’t doing anything for me, this was brutal. Finally, they got a doctor to come, and he did end up getting me additional pain relief.
It was a long day. I remember it wasn’t until the afternoon/ evening that they got me to a room. I was also super concerned about having some help to do my bowel program. I was stressed, I hadn’t gone all day.
When I woke up the next day, I still hadn’t gone. They said they weren’t allowed to do bowel programs on people…. It was agony…. And then my call alarm broke and just kept going off, and it was at that time that the new floor manager for the nurses came in. He asked me what was wrong, I told him this was going off for the past half hour, no one was coming, and I haven’t gotten my bowel program done in a day and a half. He felt really bad and then and there helped me. He turned the alarm off, and then helped me do my business.. he had the same last name as a teacher at Romeo, we talked about that for a bit. He was a really nice and helpful person, especially at a time of need.
It all came to a head when they needed to do the procedure to get rid of the extra blood the following day. Here we go again back into an operating room. At least I was awake and present for this one. But I was still pretty apprehensive, I also feel like it took long enough to get in and get this figured out. I wanted to go home.
They gave me another lung strengthening tool. I guess this past week at home I may not have been using this as much. Why oh why did the blood have to hurt me so much? It seems so odd that old blood will do that? So weird. I am “glad” they got this done (not quite exactly thrilled to be back in the hospital, but being able to breathe better is not so bad?).
7/22
Finally, I am being released. Feels good to get out of here. I also wish I didn’t have to get poked so much in the arm. They had to go into my left arm this go around, because I had so much scar tissue in my right arm from being in the hospital for so long.
Feels good to get out and in bed at home to rest. I need some sleep. This was quite the week. Not alot of rest, people in and out of the hospital to visit me, and me also not quite sure what to do. I was at the hands of a new group of individuals at this new hospital. It was really a kinda surreal experience having to go back in so soon again. Glad that at least I had the support of my family around for me this time closer to home.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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