First Week Home | July 9 – 15 2023

7/9

So, they got most all my stuff into storage. Feels sad to say. Buns me out to even have to hear that. I miss my place on Cramer. I miss everything about it. Ugh.

7/11

Wow, today has been a bittersweet day. I’m not ready. I’m not ready to leave. I don’t want to leave yet. I’m not ready to have to leave Milwaukee. I’m not ready to have to say goodbye. This is going to be crazy and hard at my parents. I don’t even know what’s going to happen. I’m sad for my mother though, I know that she has been away from her home for like, 3 months now…. That’s too long. We gotta figure this out, but I just don’t feel ready. I’m not going to have Abby and Annetta here to help me, or Katie. Just going to be me and mom.

7/12

Holy smokes, it took Nurse Abby right before we pulled out of the driveway of the Rehab Hospital to give us last advice before we made it on the road! I was asking if I was going to be okay holding it the whole time on the road? Or if we needed to stop? I wasn’t sure. I have no idea how this trip is going to go!

Brother John drove mom’s car the whole way. He ended up taking the train over by himself, which I recommended him to do. But that went awful! Someone jumped out on the tracks and committed suicide while he was on the train! How awful! That was so sad! But also, this stopped the train for over 4 hours! So John spent so much time just sitting and waiting. What a great way to spend the day.

John and I had a lot of fun conversations with mom. Mostly though, it was John and I chatting about the current state of Detroit, and then the idea of how there are no good brat places in Detroit! Wouldn’t it be amazing if we started one somewhere over there like Vanguard!?

It was also hard to hold myself up. I had to hold on to the overhead handle pretty much the whole way to keep myself balanced or secured. I couldn’t really hold myself up.

We ended up stopping at a rest stop, and that’s where I relieved myself, in the car, just off the beaten path so no one could see. John dumped the urinal for me. I appreciated that.

When we finally made it home, it was hard getting in the doorway at my parents. I was glad to be off the road, we probably had 1 hour left and my back started hurting like crazy. I was really feeling it. Good thing I brought some painkillers for the road. I really needed that one last dose that they gave me a prescription for.

Everyone was so glad to have seen me when I arrived! It was all too surreal for me to know what was going on really. I was just glad to be out of the car and not driving!

Mom and dad had set up their room for me. It was so weird and surreal coming inside from this height. I hated it. It felt so odd and unnatural walking/ rolling/ moving into the house from such a low height. I didn’t really like that at all. But before that, dad had built a ramp on the porch going into the front door. We didn’t really use that door much before, so it was a really nice gesture for me. I wouldn’t have been able to make it in otherwise.

I’m tired. All these shuffling around has really worn me out. These days are hard for me. It’s really hard to get comfortable.

I had some rough nights. I wasn’t able to roll over very well, so I end up sleeping on my one side for too long. I feel like my left side is easier to sleep on. The bed rails of the hospital bed reminds me of a crib. But if I didn’t have them, I wouldn’t be able to pull, push, and roll myself over. My ribs hurt a lot. Laying on my right side in general just hurts, with all the trauma from the right side being greater than my left. These ribs are freaking tender. I guess that’s what happens when over half your ribs break.

The doctors basically told me that my ribs crushed in so many places, they couldn’t really tell me exactly where the ribs broke. They kinda just broke everywhere.

Looking at the open tabs on my laptop made me want to cry. Ugh. It’s awful, seeing the things I was looking at and showing Callie. It’s all too sad. I hate it sometimes. But also some great memories. More to come, but for now I need to get this body better.

7/13

Max came! This was the FIRST TIME IVE SEEN HIM SINCE THE ACCIDENT!! I was so nervous, so scared, and so happy at the same time. I was so embraced, and just wanted to hop out of the chair, grab him, and run around with my boy 🥲🥹.

I want him to be around with me. I miss him so much. He slept with me, ran with me, ate with me. We did everything together. And it’s so hard to have to see him get in the truck with John, and see him go. I don’t understand it. Why I can’t be with him. He’s my single and sole greatest companion, and I would have traded anything to have him with me. I miss him so much.

7/15

Well, I tried to download some games on the Nintendo switch. I don’t know if I will play this much, but I can give it a go. I sure have been having a hard time sleeping, and rolling over. Let’s see how this goes because my body has the hardest time ever sleeping on my right side. It’s awful. And rolling over in bed is also not very easy. Oh and going pee in the middle of the night. That’s another thing. Ugh….