This account is from my immediate younger brother, John. So my call with my Brother Johann (as I like to affectionately call him, John has had many nicknames throughout our life and childhood) was really just that. A deeply moving phone call, for both of us. This call with John, who’s only 17 months younger than me, was hard. We’re really close. He’s my best friend. And I knew this was going to be especially tough, the call with him, and our little brother Schmüle (Paul’s 3yrs younger, almost to the day, my other best friend).
John and I have complimented each other really well in our younger years, and to say now as an adult that I admire John and everything he’s grown into, is an understatement. I love that big ole little dude.
We’ve gone through a lot in our lives, and we’ve always had each other to talk to, and I’m glad to still be here and able to do that with him.
Here’s the chat with John;
Joe
Did you hear that?
John
Yes. The lady has spoken.
Joe
I love it.. so what I did with, I kind of worked through this with Jessie,
John (to Julia)
you already have a graham cracker. Eat that one.
Joe
I kind of worked through the words or whatever I wanted to ask with Jess and Jake, And then it worked really well with Laura, too.
First reactions / where were you?
Joe
So the first question, the first thing that I was asking them about was just your first reaction. Like, where were you when you first found out?
John
Well, I was at work. and Dad called me. Yeah, he didn’t say what was wrong. He was pretty shook up. You know? Yeah, he just called and asked if I could come over. he said it’s Joe. It’s bad…So yeah, so then I left work and I came over to mom and dads.
Joe
because you were still working at Doug’s at that time?
John
I was, yes, I was.
Joe
So then so you didn’t even need to tell Doug you were leaving?
John
You were just.. Well, it was… It was in the afternoon. So I think I just said I got to go or something, and then I left.
Family’s first steps?
Joe
Yeah, so then when you got to mom and dad’s, how’d that go?
John
Yeah, I’m trying to remember now lot of it was a blur, to be honest.
(From early conversations)
We didn’t really know what happened.
We just knew you were in an accident till we saw.
That’s all we knew, the police officers got ahold of dad, and just told him you were in an accident, and you were in the hospital, that’s all they knew.
It wasn’t until they got there and they were able to see you and talk to some doctors that they were able to get some information.
I’m pretty sure when they did your lung lobectomy, they did that around 2PM in the afternoon that Friday? Or Thursday? Yeah Thursday.
Joe
Did they do this before you guys knew any of this?
John
Yeah, they did get ahold of mom and dad and told them they were gonna do surgery. They tried all morning to try and stop the bleeding. You had too much bleeding. Cuz they gave you quite a bit of blood, they kept giving you blood.
Joe
So I probably would have ran out of blood?
John
Oh yeah, definitely.
Joe
I didn’t really know that..
John
I don’t know Forsure, but I’m pretty sure they were breathing for you.
Back to The Call
Joe
That’s ok. That’s okay. No, I hear you.
Yeah, and that’s okay, not fully remembering too.
John
I don’t.. I think mom and dad had left before I got there.
Joe
Oh, dang, wow.
John
Now that I think about it, yeah So then Paul was over there and Laura was over there. And then… I’m trying to remember. And then it was me and Laura decided to leave in the morning..
First visit in Milwaukee
Joe
Got it. Okay, that was gonna be the next thing I was gonna ask about, your first time in Milwaukee after the accident.
John
Yeah, we came. We came there that following morning. Because they weren’t letting…, because we found out from mom and dad that they wouldn’t let more than two people in at a time. Like, you could only have two people on the list the whole time you were in the hospital.
Joe
Yeah, what the heck?
John
But they eventually.., because that was what was going on then? There was something going on with the hospitals where they were on lockdown still?
Joe
Interesting.
John
It must have just been because it was still after COVID. It wasn’t that long after COVID. Right. And everything was still on lockdown. Right. But something about that hospital, at Froedtert, they had a lot of extra security. But they ended up letting us switch out on the list.
Joe
Got it.
John
So, like, mom or dad would take their name off the list and then and then we would put one of our names on and then we were able to come come up and see you.
Joe
Oh wow. I didn I didn’t know that you guys had to swap on the list.
John
No one told you that?
Joe
No. Yeah shoot. Dang.
John
Well see, thats what, So that’s why mom and dad didn’t want us to come right away. Because we all wanted to come, but they were like, don’t.. There’s no sense in you guys all coming because they’re only going to let two of you up at a time. and they’re already being difficult about switching the names.
Joe
Jeez. So did you find out about that when you and Laura were driving over?
John
Well, yeah, that’s. So we all talked, and then and then me and Laura came.
Joe
How was the drive over with Laura?
John
It was fine. We didn’t really talk a whole lot.
Joe
Dang. Dang. That’s a long drive for not talking.
John
I mean, we did. but it wasn’t.. I think Laura slept for part of it. We took her car, but I drove.
Joe
Got it. Yeah, she said, she said she didn’t think she would have been able to make the drive if you didn’t ride with you. She said she was too worked up. Dang.
First Visit In Hospital
Joe
So then when you got your name on the list to come see me for the first time, how did that go?
John
Well, What was that? I said you were away. Not able to be seen? They did, they had you somewhere. Now that I think about it, so how long were we there for? a couple nights? and then Jess and Paul came. and they let all four of us up there. They were starting to take you off some of the, I forget what they call them. They’re a type of a sedative basically to keep you under. because you had gone through so much surgery, you would have been in so much pain if you woke up.
Joe
How long would it have been? How long was I under for?
John
How long were you under for? Yeah, I want to say it was.. I don’t remember now. It was more than two weeks. Jeez. They kept you, you know, heavily sedated. Yeah. Like they would.. I think what they do is, they slowly start to ween you off. But that whole time, you’re… You know, you’re intubated. Yeah… Because they had you on a breathing machine.
Joe
Right.
John
So what I was going to say is that was only two days after the accident. Yeah, because it was happening Thursday morning, and then it was Saturday evening, Jess and Paul came right after us. We were all up there, and they kind of let you wake up and you recognized all of us. and you were talking. So I mean, that kind of made us all feel better.
Joe
Dang. You guys were up there when I, like, pretty much first came to. What’s that?? You and the rest of our siblings were all up there when I first came to?
John
Yes. And I don’t remember fully, think it was then? I think it was… No, it was then, your foot had twitched.
Joe
Oh, really?
John
Mm hmm. And dang. Because I remember that happening and I was reading about SCI’s a lot. Yeah. And that was a pretty clear sign that it was not a, you know, a complete break in your spinal chord.
Joe
Right, right.
John
Because I remember reading about it that usually there’s no spasms for a complete injury for a complete.
Joe
Got it, yeah. Well, you were correct!
John
What’s that?
Joe
Well, you were right! About it being incomplete. You were right. But yeah. Dang.
John
And that was.. because they did all those surgeries within two days. you know.
Joe
Yeah, on the lungs, right?
John
The lungs, well.. and your back surgery.
Joe
Right. I don’t know how many days after my lung surgery, the back surgery was again.
John
Well, the lung surgery, they did right away.. That was an emergency operation, but they called and talked to well, no, they did talk to mom and dad in person about the back surgery.
Joe
Right.
John
You know, And they did ask them if they were okay with it, you know?
Joe
Right.
John
Because I guess they could have said no..
Joe
Right. But, I mean. you know, I was pretty banged up, to say the least…
John
That was their recommendation.
Joe
That’s….. Yeah, that would have been the hardest thing ever to have to make that call as a parent.
John
Yeah.
Joe
Man, that would be so tough. Yeah shoot.
John
But you talked to the surgeon, right? I mean, I’m sure he remembered it.
Joe
Oh, yeah. Yeah, no, being the fact that they needed to fix two areas in the spinal cord and half my ribs were broken off the spinal cord as well. Right. I don’t think it would have healed up quite so great if they didn’t.
John
Right.
Visit In Milwaukee / Following Weeks
Joe
To say the least. Dang. Man, so how long when you were there in Milwaukee, how long did you stay?
John
We came back Sunday I’m pretty sure. Yeah, I’m pretty sure we came back Sunday. Okay, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Jake ended up coming Jill’s reminding me of a lot right now. Oh, Thanks. Yeah. Yeah, because me and Jake came back together with Max.
Joe
Got it, got it, got it. Yeah, because who was watching Max?
John
I think… it was Joe. Joe was taking care of Max. Yeah. And then, you know, when we went there, um What was your Scottish neighbor? What was his name? Matty. Matty. He came up to us because he said something about a bed.
Joe
Yeah, I was going to store his mattress for him! Yeah.. He told me about that when we were on the on the the Edelweiss cruise ship here. Yeah, you guys were probably all like, “Who the heck is this?
John
Yep. Yeah. well, we talked to him for a little bit. Yeah, it was crazy.
Joe
Laura was saying that when you guys first came in to see me, she said you looked at my readings and all my vitals and had said to everybody that they were looking good.
John
Yeah, I mean, I don’t think the nurses were ever out of your room for more than a couple minutes.
Joe
They were watching me that close?
John
Oh yeah. Yeah, cause they were really, worried about your lungs filling up with fluid.
Joe
That makes sense.
John
That was the biggest problem. Because you’re not able to when you’re under to aspirate, which is coughing. It’s just fancy word for coughing.
Joe
Okay. I didn’t do that.
John
What that means is your lungs are all full of alveoli. They are the little tiny air pockets. And so when you cough, it clears the mucus out. And so when your lungs are trying to heal, and you’re missing part of your one lung, it’s hard for your body to absorb oxygen through your lungs. Because they were worried about your oxygen levels.
Joe
Right.
John
You know, you were on 100% oxygen and they had you intubated for at least a week. You know they had you on the tube and then they were constantly coming in and draining it, checking because they had the drains going in through your chest.
Joe
Goodness, Yeah.
John
To drain the fluid out. And then that’s the other thing is they were worried about was you getting infected, basically pneumonia. That would have been a big problem.
Joe
Right.
John
But you never did, so that was good. But I mean, it really was just shocking. I mean. Yeah, I don’t think there’s really many words to explain it.
Joe
No, that’s okay, John. That’s all right.
John
Just… it’s not something you want to see. That’s probably the best way to explain it.
Joe
That’s. I’m sorry, dude. That’s really tough. Man.
John
Yeah, so, goodness. So then for the following weeks, before I went to the rehab hospital., how did that go? because we all alternating weekends coming? How many times did I go?
Jill (helping John remember)
So you went the first time. Then there was the time to pick up your dad, and then the time to bring Joe home. Then you and Paul, I think, went one additional time. So I think you were there, probably four or five times. between you and Paul, you were there the most. Yeah, you guys were there the most. That’s right there, it was five times.
Joe
What was that last one you said, Jill?
Jill
Well, when we went, it was me & Justin, the first time. I think it was five times.
John
Because it was Fourth of July weekend. But it was me, Dad. Justin Wingfield, and Paul. You know, Paul was kind of useless for helping move. There was something wrong with his foot.
Joe
There was. What did he do?
John
He Did something to his foot. It was his ankle or something? I don’t know what he did.
Joe
That makes me laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Goodness.
John
No, Justin was a big help.
Joe
You guys moved all that!? I had a lot of stuff in that apartment. Yeah. There was not a small amount of stuff there.
John
Oh. Well, the one guy he took the large wood slab, and we put a bunch of stuff out to the road.
Joe
Like the couches, right?
John
Yeah.
Joe
Yeah, I know dad asked about the couches and the futon, right?
John
Oh, my gosh. I forgot about that. We were driving back and I was driving dad’s truck. He was in in the passenger seat, Paul’s in the back. And we had just gotten… Yeah. So we were going through Roseville on I-94, and we were just talking about how crazy all these drivers were. And all of a sudden, I see this van like two cars ahead of us. I kid you not, she swerved. She started swerving off to the right and must have realized she was swerving off the road, and all of a sudden just cranked the wheel back to the left, went through all three lanes without hitting a car.
Joe
and then crash into the embankment?
John
Hit yeah, the middle wall. Yeah. The car slammed into the wall, spun to its side, rolled. And then slid back across all the lanes to the right side of the road and sat there. And as soon as I saw this happening, I started hitting the brakes in the truck because, you know, you’re not going to stop a truck and trailer full of stuff in 200 feet. And so we, Paul and I, we hop out and we run up there. And the lady, she’s out of it, she’s awake, but she was fine. But there were like Jello shots everywhere in the car. And oh my gosh we’re like, oh, this lady’s trashed.
Joe
Oh, no. That’s so it’s awful.
John
I know. I didn’t talk to the police, but Paul did. He gave a statement. Yeah. And the cop ended up calling him and asking him a couple more questions like a week later. He was like, yeah, she was drunk…
Joe
Oh my gosh…. That would have been awful. But that was just crazy, that happened two cars in front of you?
John
Yeah.
Joe
Jeez. Wow. Someone was looking out for you guys.
John
But I just couldn’t believe she didn’t hurt anyone. It was just crazy. But, back to what we’re talking about. See, it was like four, four or five trips. that I made.
Joe
I mean, I remember when you guys moved me out, so that would have been…. I remember that. I remember being in the rehab hospital, and I remember when you guys moved me out.
John
Yeah, you were in the rehab hospital.
Joe
Okay. Yeah, goodness. Wow.
Other Reflections
Joe
So with all that, too, I think the only other thing I would ask that I would ask everybody else was, I don’t know if you had any any other reflections on it all, John, or anything else to say?
Joe
I know that this is a tough one to talk about, and that’s okay. I just want you to know that. I learned a word through this process of calling and talking to you guys and asking you about this. The word is cathartic. Have you ever heard that word?
John
cathartic. Yeah, I feel like I’ve heard it, but I don’t know what it means.
Joe
Right? That’s how I always was. I thought it was like, something weird. It means providing psychological relief through the open expression of strong emotions. And I realize, John, that’s what this has very much been. It’s been crazy because it’s been so hard to talk about with you guys. And honestly, John, like, this has been the hardest. You’ve been the hardest person to call to talk to about this with, because I love you so much. And I, and you’ve just been so close to me and I don’t know. It’s just weird, man. It’s just I knew I wouldn’t want to have to see my little brother in the hospital so I can only imagine what it was like for you to have do that with your older brother.
John
I don’t. I didn’t want to see that.
Joe
So I just knew this was a hard thing to talk about, but, I just really appreciate you and I I’m just glad I’m here. Thanks, dude.
John
Thanks, dude. I mean, I… I just didn’t understand it really for a while because I had literally talked to you that night before.
Joe
Oh my Gosh. Yeah, tell me about that. Because I feel like I kind of remembered this, John.
John
Probably because we talked about it so much, me and you. I don’t think you really remembered us talking. But you had just… put some different, I want to say it was different lights on the bike? Yeah, You then took it out for a ride. You went to… I forget what bar that was?
Joe
Red Lion Pub.
John
Red Lion Pub. And they had like, roast or something for dinner that you had gotten. And that like eight or nine. You were up there at like 8 o’clock. Yeah. It was like 9 o’clock our time. So when dad called me, I was just confused because I had talked to you literally like 10 hours earlier.
Joe
Goodness… Sorry, dude. sorry, dude.
John
And I would say it still makes me angry. More just like angry at the driver.
Joe
Yeah, because you actually know. You know what to do. as an emergency vehicle driver. You’ve driven those things. You know what to do.
John
Like, I get accidents happen, but I also.. I don’t when it’s also your job.
Joe
Yeah. And that’s what you’re supposed to do.
John
Right. It’s not like he was just some random person that was driving an ambulances first day, kind of accident.
Joe
No, you’re right.
John
That’s what frustrates me.
Joe
I don’t even know what to say, dude. Thanks Dude. Thanks, John. I’m glad to still be here. I Really am. I’m still really glad to be able to talk to you. Really. I don’t think there’s anybody else I’d rather talk to. Seriously. Hey, well, John, I don’t know. Let’s wrap it up, hey? I don’t need to ask you about that this anymore. You know, I’m going to cut the recording off because I don’t think there’s anything else to say. I think you did a good job, man. I think that was great.
John
Thanks, dude.
Joe
Yeah brother, love ya.
The Astronaut on Earth 
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